I am married and my husband and I had a fight about 7 months ago and we split, now he is with another girl who has a lil boy thats not his... Him and his g/f are haveing problems and I am wanting to be in a realationship with my guy friend who is an ex of mine that I still have feelings for but he wants me to get a divorce he says thats whats holding him and I from being together right now, now my husband wants to get back together with me after leaving me in the first place what should I do? In my heart I'm done with my marriage, my friends/ family say if I take him back they wont ever talk to me again!
2007-10-25 08:20:36 · 28 answers · asked by Bigginz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The decision is yours. If you take him back, you are the one that has to live , eat and sleep with him. Not your friends or family.
True friends would support you on whats best for you. Its your life and you have to live with the decisions you make.
Ask yourself a few questions: Do I still love my husband?
Am I part of the reason for the breakup in the beginning?
Did I give my all in the marriage too.
Just ask yourself questions , write them down and then honestly answer them.
2007-10-25 12:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Thunder 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If in your heart you are done with the marriage it is time to get the divorce and move on. If the husband got together with another girl instead of trying to work things out with you, he may well leave again even if you were to give him another chance. Your friends and family may have seen things that lead them to believe that he is not good for you that you couldn't see while you were in love with him, so their advice is worth listening to I think. You have to ask yourself though why you separated from the ex before because it is no good if you go from one bad relationship to another. Get the divorce and take your time getting into the new relationship until you are sure that it is right and will work out for you.
2007-10-25 15:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if a fight is what broke you and your husband up, then neither of you were too committed to your marriage, and if he is already with someone else, as you are too, that is another sign neither of you were committed, so i think that you have both already moved on, you both need to just do the legal paper work and be done with it. But i hope you have both learned that marriage is not something you get done and undone in the drive thru. Marriage takes work, and commitment from all parties involved.
2007-10-25 15:32:31 · answer #3 · answered by oh really 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want safe or happy? Going back to the relationship before there has been a mutual understanding and peace between you over the issues, would probably end up with another split. But, who knows? Just don't do anything until you are sure!
2007-10-25 15:25:09 · answer #4 · answered by Virtual Evie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your done in your heart with your marriage, truthfully?! YES, pack it up and move on. Because once one person in the relationship has reached that point...there really isn't a way back.
Besides just sounds like he wanted to get out and screw around...since that hasn't worked out for him this time he's crawling back home...who says he won't just do it again anyhow if you did really want to take him back?
Just move on and who says you have to get that serious with your old EX...feelings or not he ended up being an EX for a reason...
2007-10-25 15:52:54 · answer #5 · answered by Kooter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get a divorce even if he does not want one. He went out and was living with some other chick I figure that is grounds for divorce.
DO NOT GO BACK for the love of all that is good and decent in the world
2007-10-25 15:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some friends you've got! I'd divorce them first. As for your situation: Which man makes you smile with your heart? That's the guy you should be with. Good luck.
2007-10-25 15:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by kellygirlaj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you let him back in and than what? Waiting until he finds someone else he wants to be with for a few month to come back again.
I made that mistake to take my ex back after I guess he had a fight with his girl. I got so hurt unbelievabel hurt. He got me good, he went back to her. They work together.
Well if you take his sorry a... back can you trust him?
Let that loser go and let him be happy somewhere else.
Get a new life and get strong.
Good luck I feel your mixed emotions.
2007-10-25 15:33:56 · answer #8 · answered by maria s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men want to take you back when they realize that you are not sitting around waiting on them. It is called jealousy! The minute you got back with him you wouldnt trust him anyway. If it horrible to have to end a marriage over his stupidity, but dont be stupid yourself and make yourself miserable in the process... unless you are willing to forget the whole thing ever happened and never bring it up again.
2007-10-25 15:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by cassiecbutterfly 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
what was the fight about that was so bad he had to leave and top of that shack up with a new girl who was not his wife?
whew. anyway sounds like you two were not commited in the first place if you have kids together try and work it out. if not and you have already concluded that your heart isn't in it then i think you've have answered all of your own questions.
good luck............
2007-10-25 20:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by shygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋