If your spouse got in a car accident, would you leave?

Question

Say your spouse got badly burned in car accident, and now they are disfigured and have to use a wheelchair. Would you bail or would you stay? Does it depend on whose fault the accident was?

Why or why not? Would you stay because you'd feel guilty if you left, or because you loved them? Would you leave because you weren't attracted anymore or because they can't support you?

I'd very much appreciate you HONEST input. Thanks in advance.

Hurley, you do know that everyone in wheelchairs are not brain dead, right?

I didn't ask if you'd stay married to a vegetable.

Answer 1

hell no I would not leave...what kind of spouse would that be...through the good and the bad

Answer 2

This is the question I ask myself to determine my love for another individual. Helps me to figure out if I love a man or not. If I can answer this question with a yes I'd have no second thought about staying. I'd take care of this man no matter what. When you get married the vows say in sickness or health. If you said I do , you made a commitment before God to do this . Then again People divorce at an alarming rate so I guess my theory goes out of the window. I would never leave my husband because of an accident. People that do that didnt love there husbands before the accident. I would take care of him, but that's just my nature, I'd take care of anyone if they needed help.

Answer 3

It would all depend on our bond befoe the accident. If it was a strong tie, then all the below would happen, but if i was just going through the motions, then i"d probably bail after a month.


I would stay.No. He;'s my husband, i married him for better or worse. I'll just look at it this way; he married me knowing I was disabled. He loved me knowing this too. So now that he's in the same boat, what's the difference...we'll have more in common now. It would be because i loved them and appreciated them. That would be the only way i could stick it out...because guilt would fade after a while. If they got SSD, then the support would be there, and even if not, God will provide....hopefully, and as for attraction...as long as he's still the same guy(as much as he can be), that i fell for, his appearance won't really matter. I'm not saying it won't at all(I"m not saint), but personality usually trumps appearance for me...and yeah, hygene would be the equalizer.

But if i seriously couldn't handle it anymore, and I had a support system that would help me leave...and of course, above all, his blessing(which he'd give me if he loved me), then yeah, I'd leave....but only after a good effort on my part.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

If my husband were in that condition, I would honor my wedding vows first of all. Because in order for me to take those vows in the first place I had to love him. When It says IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE, that is exactly what it means. No one goes into a marriage anticipating or expecting the worse, if you do, then you should never have gotten married. If you truly love your spouse, there is unconditional love, you are going to love them no matter what the circumstances are. It doesn't or should not matter whose fault the accident was, it was just that an ACCIDENT and they do happen all the time. I love my spouse uncondtionally, and I am in my marriage for the long haul, through the good times as well as the bad times, through all the ups and downs, TILL DEATH DO US PART. If the person cannot support you that is not their fault, if you can get a job then get one. The vows also say FOR RICHER AND FOR POORER. If you choose to leave that is your choice, but what goes around comes around, if you leave your spouse chances are someone is going to leave you. I hope this helps

Answer 5

God forbid I was ever put to the test..however, I've met people who were burned very badly and it was hard to look at them..however, once I got to know them, I didn't see the burns any longer..they were wonderful people.
I would never leave my husband..he is my life and I can't imagine the pain he would be going through..For better or worse..I would hope God would give me the courgage to endure for him, not for me. I would be tormented watching him suffer. I would hope the true friends we had would be there to help, console and comfort. I know we would do the same for our friends. We don't always like the hand we're dealt but we have to deal with it and make the best of it. When we die, we all have different bodies that will be perfect..so just think of this earthly body as a shell only. People are who they are because of their heart and soul, not because of what they look like on the surface. A surface body is for others and it helps them to get to know the real you..the heart and soul. After that, it shouldn't make any difference if they are true friends. If they are not, you don't need them anyway. Yes it's very difficult to look at someone that has been burnt,,but they are still human beings and we just have to get past it. It could happen to any of us at any time..disfigurement is not something I'd wish on anyone but it does happen. Just let the person know you love them..you'll begin to see them differently and it won't matter anymore. IF you accept, then others will too..it won't be so frightening. You'll put others at ease. Try it!

Answer 6

I was in a bad head on collision with my 2 small children in the car. One daughter was 7 years old and the other was 1 and a half years old. My girls were taken to the nearest hospital and I was life flighted to another. When I woke up at the trauma unit my husband looked at me and said, :How would you like to own a pest control company?" Only later did I find out that I was hit by a pest control company truck. But, my husband did not say to me, "I'm glad you're alive" or "The girl's are fine don't worry" He was only interested in how much money he could make off of my accident. That sentence made me hate him all the more. I did not want him around me. I didn't care if I never walked again. Anyone who would stick around out of guilt wasn't meant to be there in the first place.When you love someone everything else doesn't matter.

Answer 7

Uh, no I would never leave them if they got in a car accident and were burned, in a wheelchair, had legs amputated or whatever! Depending on why the accident happened and whose fault is was really would not be able to determine leaving either because it is my spouse who I love and want to spend the rest of my life with..........
First of all even answering this question is difficult because the thought of leaving them would ever cross my mind even if this was to happen?
You married them for better or for worse and for love.
Not to bail out when the something tragic happens to them.

Answer 8

We have a good marriage to begin with, so I feel pretty secure that our marriage would hold up under such a challenge. Physical disfigurement would not be an issue for me. My husband is quite good looking, but that is far from his best quality. My brother in law is paralyzed from a car accident so I am familiar with what some of the challenges are in such a situation. If a marriage was troubled to begin with, it would be unlikely it would last under the stress. Why would it depend on whose fault it was?

Answer 9

You should not leave him. It doesn't matter who is at fault. You might have a lot of mixed emotions or guilt because of the accident. You need to ask yourself whether you really loved him or your just feeling guilty if you decided to leave him. Although I think it will be a rough ride for you because he is now depending on you to take care of him for the rest of your life. And there will be times when you will think that you will regret staying with him because of this.

Answer 10

This is horrible. If my spouse had been a good person I would have stayed with them regardless of whether or not they were in a car accident and badly burned. When you love someone you love them for who they are on the inside.
If anyone answers that they would then they should never get married.

Answer 11

I would stay. I made a vow, in sickness & in health. I've had many surgeries and I've looked horrible through some of those surgeries and he's stayed and took care of me. I could never abandon him because he was disfigured or disbabled, whether it was his fault or not. I'm attracted to his heart more than his phyical features (which will fade eventually anyway). Good luck. 2D