He told me he ran into a couple of old friends from school. A guy and a girl. He then blurted out that he had a big crush on this girl back 10 yrs ago in college. I lost my temper telling him how great she must have looked and how he would probably want to cheat on me now. I think I over reacted and acted like a fool. I have a bad self esteem because I gained 20 pounds in 2 years after having my last child and look like crap all the time. Does anyone else think I over reacted or is this feeling normal?
2007-10-25 08:01:03 · 52 answers · asked by cocoa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This happens a lot. Yes, you did overreact, but all women do it at one point or another. I do it on a daily basis. I have gained 35 pounds since my last (of three) children. You see your husband talking to a beautiful woman, and you see green. Tell him you are sorry, and explain why you felt that way. He'll understand!
2007-10-25 08:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Feelings of jealousy occasionally can be normal, but don't over do it (which I do think you did). This was from 10 years ago, so there isn't any need to start a fight about it. He isn't gonna cheat on you. He married YOU not her. However if you keep acting this way, he may get sick of it. Guys hate being treated like that, just as you would. My husband has friends from the past that he talks to, and it does make me take a second look at myself, however, those were in the past. Look at US now. We own our home, have two beautiful kids together, and I am the one he is with while I know the other ones only wish they were me. I am the one he lays in bed with at night reminicing about the past and everything we have done together and telling each other all the little things we love. Like he loves it when my hair is a mess in the mornings for example. Those other people don't get that, so don't worry. If I were you I would apologize to him, and tell him that you aren't self confident obviously, and that you were wrong to react that way. I am sure it will be ok and he will understand. Good Luck. Just bite your tongue next time.. lol
2007-10-25 08:10:02 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that it isn't normal, but you probably did over react. I have jealousy issues to, my husband works in a resturant full of very pretty girls, all of whom hit on him constantly. If he has never given you a reason to suspect that he would cheat on you, then I would give him a break. After all, he had a life before you, and is entitled to his past and the feelings that he had then. The fact that he even told you he had a crush on her speaks volumes, if he was planning something, I don't think he would have said anything at all. If you feel bad about gaining weight, then the obviouse thing to do would be to try and loose it, but have you ever considered that may find you ore attractive now? My husband likes me better with curves, and a know alot of men who feel the same way. Maybe a night our together and nice talk about how you are feeling would help!
2007-10-25 08:08:57 · answer #3 · answered by Sammie Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you over reacted. He may have had a crush on someone way back then, but he is married to you now. Apologize to him for overreacting, watch what you eat and go walking.
I went to a nutritionist so I can have help losing weight and to have the gastric bypass surgery. As a requirement, I have to lose a few pounds and modify mty diet. In one month I lost 6 pounds from just having salad with grilled chicken at lunch time and adding more water in my day. I also cut out a lot of high clorie junk food - opting for the 100 calorie pack snack packs. So, do what I did and that little bit will help and you will start on your path to a better you.
Good luck!
2007-10-25 08:08:44 · answer #4 · answered by onetreasuredpet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you overreacted but i understand why. It was pointless for your husband to even tell you that he had a crush on this woman. It sounds to me as if he wanted a reaction and he got what he wanted when you got angry.
I gained 15 pounds in the last 5 months ( and I didn't have a baby) and I know how you are feeling about your body. You had a baby! 20 lbs is not that much extra weight. You can lose that in 3 months or even by Christmas.
Start focusing on yourself for a little bit and take a walk everyday, eat a little better and you will get over the feelings of jealousy. And the next time your husband tells you something that he wants you to have a reaction to- dont allow it. Even if on the inside you want to say something. Trust me, your husband liked the fact that you were jelous- even if he didn't admit it!
2007-10-25 08:08:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You may have over reacted only because you havn't feeling confident about your looks at present and he possibly has not been giving you compliments about the way you look.
Oh when have those in love not acted like fools. You may have over reacted but its not the end of the world. Apologize for your behavior and tell him you are just not feeling good about yourself and feeling a bit insecure and laugh at how jealous you can be even if its petty also let him know you are so glad that he can share things with you such as that and that you hope he still feels he can. Honesty and trust are important so be glad that you have that with him. He was being honest and not trying to hurt you. You will get over it. It's really ok.
2007-10-25 08:07:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you were justified in your feelings of jealousy. If he took the time to tell you he had a crush on this girl, maybe that was his intention. Guys love it when their girlfriends/wives get jealous of other women because it's an ego trip. That applies to girls too. We girls love to be fought over as well. However, I think you crossed the line a little bit. If you think you look like crap (which I'm sure is NOT the case), then why not try and rectify the situation? So what if you've had two kids? Who says you can't be a hot mom? You need to respect yourself enough to put forth the effort to make sure you turn heads, including your husband's.
2007-10-25 08:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by spikeyblonde_22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have overreacted but he should never have told you he had a crush on this girl years ago. That certainly couldn't have made you feel special. Instead of concentrating on him and your insecurities, concentrate on what you can do for yourself to make yourself look and feel better. Confidence and security comes from within..noone can give that to us and we cannot depend on anyone for our self confidence. You are the only one that can make the change-do it today!!! Watch what you eat, plan on 15mins a day exercise, read a book, get a hobby, develop new friendships, take a ride and discover new parts of your city, reach out to help others, you'll be amazed at how good that will make you feel. You change your attitude and your husband will change his. You may find you like yourself and are happy with yourself just the way your are. He might also like this new woman..she's there inside, you just need to develop her and bring her to the surface.
Good luck..I know, I've been where you are. I just turned 60 over the weekend and believe me, life is good!! It took 40 years to get here..don't give up.
2007-10-25 08:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got to say you did over reacted but the reason you're doing it is because you love him a lot and you can't take the chance of someone else coming into your life and take the most thing you love in the world.
Try not to be so much jealous or your husband might get tired of your jealousy and might leave you, so calm down and don't explode in jealousy if you see your husband talking to a girl as a normal conversation not until you see something out of normal.
Take care, bye!
2007-10-25 08:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by VegasPapi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were over reacted. I used to be 98 pounds before I got married. After my 3rd baby, I was 135 pounds and look like crap since I was a stayed home mom with 3 kids, 24/7 concentrate on the children, husband, and family. I did feel bad about how I turned out but that did not interfered our relationship. He loves me for who I am. If you can keep your personallity, your smile, your humor....and your love for him and family.....you have nothing to worry about, but don't forget to pick yoursefl up sometimes. Suggestion: go on a diet, start small...do some excercise at home like streching, sit up, crunches, lift ligh weight while watching TV.....go buy new waredrobe, once in a while dress up and go out for dinner or movie.....spice your love life up a bit would not hurt at all. Good luck.
2007-10-25 08:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by TheOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you overreacted! And you should tell him that you are sorry. After that - go to a gym and get a trainer and lose the extra pounds that make you so miserable - or go see a shrink that can work on the low self-esteem from that end...one or the other or maybe both...but you really should work on being happy - with yourself and your life! You have kids to think about, a marriage and a long life ahead.,..don't waste it being sad or depressed over a few pounds...
Good Luck fighting your demons!
2007-10-25 08:08:31 · answer #11 · answered by Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋