funeral help?

Question

Funeral help?
it seems my husband's grandmother is not doing well in the hospital. my MIL is flying up to be with her husband as he has been with his mother during this time....he told her to take clothes for a funeral. so we are preparing for the worst.
it seems a bit petty of me but i was wondering, since i have never met my husband's grandmother, how could we celebrate her life. is sending flowers and a card of sympathy enough to show how much we care about everyone's loss.
we are flying to the dakota's from south tx. over the thanksgiving holidays and i have never met my husband of three years family. just my father in law's brothers and sisters. i know his immediate family and my mother in law's family.
anyway....i want to be respectful and kind and thoughtful and make a good impression.
i'd send a bouquet of blue irises, that is my favorite flower, and a card from our family. is there anything else i can do? we can't just go and join them for a funeral.

we can't afford that. and we have three little ones to lug around everywhere!! ;o)
thanks for your help.
keep her in your thoughts and prayers.
thanks

SHE IS NOT DEAD! goodness. people are thinking she is gone while i already stated she is in the hospital.
LOL!

Answer 1

Funerals are for the survivors ... so, examine your relationship with your father & mother - in -laws ... where is this relationship today ... How is celebrations like Christmas, Easter, and Birthday's handled?

Certainly, funerals reflect the families personality. Some have "Wakes" where the life is celebrated ... while others have solome gatherings ... psychologically, your in-law's are becoming Orphan's ... and this is difficulte even at older ages ... yes a 60-80 year old griefs ... I guess since your husband is the ambasidor to link your familiy to his ... talk with your husband ... learn from your husband how his relationship with his GM is ... how his parents bond with GM ... and so on ... then once you've familiarized yourself is when u'll understand what to do to show reverence or celibration of this life.

Answer 2

Your idea is wonderful. Your presence is the best gift and remembered far after flowers have faded. Don't worry about the impression you will create. The whole attitude of your email shows you are a caring person and that comes across anyway.

Answer 3

I'm sure the flowers will be fine. Hey, if I was in your position, I wouldn't even be able to go at all because of lack of $$. Taking 3 small ones with you is even harder. They are not going to be there "judging you" and how you react at a funeral AT ALL. There will be too much other stuff going on. Just be there and be supportive.

Answer 4

rather than flowers
send money that you would have spent on flowers
to a Charity
in Her Memory
such as meals on wheels
or
Hospice
less temporary than flowers
and it helps the family to know that Her memorial gift helped someone in need

Answer 5

I would say Flowers and a card shows you are thinking of them in there time of loss.I know I appreciated in when someone I love has passed away.