I've would like your opinion about living together vs. not living together before marriage. I've been reading yahoo answers about the pros and cons of living together before you are married and how it could fail, but I don't hear about marriages when they don't live together their marriage failed. I've also read all the statistics about living together and marriage failure, but I notice that it is coming from a religions point of view and they really don't tell you about the fail marriages when following religious doctrine. I would like to know if you are divorced now, was it because that you lived with your spouse first before you got married and now you're getting a divorced or do you wish that you could of lived with your spouse prior to you getting married so you can know more about your spouse before you married them? Do you regret living together or not living together first?
2007-10-25 07:39:27 · 13 answers · asked by bitterly_sweetness 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
would you purchase a car without test driving it?would you purchase a home without looking it over?You cannot know if you are truly compatable until you know who the other person really is;you should go become over the road truck driver together spending 24 hours a day in a 10 foot box being scared you are going to die all day for about 6 months and that will leet you learn about the real person you are contemplating marriage with .....
2007-10-25 07:45:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I am so glad you are looking into these issues. I am married a few years now and we actually live apart currently because of our jobs. Let me tell you what I have found. Its best not to live together before marriage. Simply because marriage succeeds out of a strong foundation and commitment. The key word is commitment. My husband and I constantly speak about and seek information on how to have a successful marriage.
We currently have no children. But I've learned a successful marriage becomes a priceless asset when children are involved. I also want to add that failed marriages occur often because two people do not belong together. Not all couples are meant to procreate either. Its clear that some genes just should not be combined.
Shacking up does not necessarily determine that. How much you are committed to give and take from each other in a balanced relationship can move mountains.
Shacking up does not come with a commitment. The concept is centered around whether or not there is an easy way out of the relationship. There are no easy ways out of a failed marriage. If both parties agree it can be easier.
However, marriage is largely a religious and legal proceeding that entitles both parties to own a stake in the assets, investments (emotional included), and benefits accumulated and sustained through marriage. These are some of the rights afforded to married couples.
If you would rather live together with no commitment, no stake in the assets of your partner, then shacking up may be the right choice. Its not about greed. Without legalities you have no right to make any decisions on your partners behalf in the invent that they can no longer do so.
Therefore, marriage is also about planning for the future.
2007-10-25 08:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by Abigail R 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Times has changed back in the days u did not live with someone untill u are married, the thinking was that if a woman live with a man he is getting the benefits of marriage without the paper, the thing is marriage is about the woman a contract. plus back then a woman was a virgin and not living together it's a give a woman has for the man to also insure the marriage last longer new stuff and all but today women r not virgins and as far as living together prior marriage the women r not v's so the man has nothing to lose.
2007-10-25 07:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by GRUNT 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Religious reasons is about the only reason that most people don't live together before marriage. Unfortunately, if you do not live with someone before you marry, you will never really know what you are getting into. You will never know the quirks and habits that will get on you nerves. You may think the person is wonderful only to find out they arent what you think they are. Many divorces would be prevented if partners lived together before marriage. The relationships would break up before divorce became and issue.
2007-10-25 07:47:01 · answer #4 · answered by BigEasy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think its a personal choice. Only you can decide what is right for you. I didn't live with my husband, and didn't have sex with my husband before marriage. It wasn't really about religion just something neither of us wanted to do. We have been happily married for almost 6 years now (in fact im planning our anniversary trip right now.) I wouldnt have changed a thing, and neither would my husband. Its worked well for us, of course we have had to learn what the other person lives like, but because we knew who we were we as people there werent many surprises. However, just because its whats worked for us, it may not be what you want. It is a choice each couple has to make for themselves, there is no right or wrong answer for this question. Its going to be a different experience for everyone no matter what you do.
2007-10-25 07:50:09 · answer #5 · answered by Cebsme 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I totally regret not living together first. Maybe I would have seen a lot of warning signs sooner. Now 2 kids and 18 years later I can't figure out how to get out of this mess. Asked my husband to leave more than once, but he won't do it. Can't pinpoint just one thing, it's like everything he does gets on my nerves. Don't enjoy his company at all anymore. Guess I saw a little of it early on, but I was young and stupid.
Religion had little to do with not living together, we both came from traditional families and we probably believed in marriage. I'm not so sure anymore.
2007-10-25 08:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should live together first.U neva really know someone until u ve lived together day in day out. I only had a best friend it was great wen we only visited eachother. We ve been living together for almost a yr now and we barely say two words to each other, i miss her but i don't know how to break the silence. you start to fight bout little things then they become big things. Its better to know now. A home is somewhere to relax and be happy if someone spoils dat u cant imagine how much resentment r gonna hold for the person especially if they refuse to understand wats wrong
2007-10-25 11:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by nike s 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've read some statistics a while ago which said that the divorce rate for couples who lived together before they got married was two times higher than the divorce rate for couples who didn't.
2007-10-25 07:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Knowing what I know now after being married for 31 years and getting a divorce yes I would live with someone and never marry again.
2007-10-25 07:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Never marry someone before you lived with them for at least one year! You NEVER really know someone until you live with them for a while. Why wait until after you are married to find out that you have completely different ideas regarding how to run a house hold! Forget about that religious crap! Jebus, Allah, Mohammad, etc...could care less who you live with!
Good luck.
2007-10-25 07:44:49 · answer #10 · answered by Smooth Lyrics II 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋