My friend, we'll call him D had a physical fight with his wife while drunk. They both didn't really hurt each other, but both definitely lost control in the heat of the moment. (she is bigger than him, so I know it was an equal fight)
He says this is the only time they have ever hurt each other, and both apologized profusely after things calmed down. In looking up signs of a healthy relationship, they seem to hit all the marks. When looking up signs of an abusive relationships, codependency was the only thing that seemed to fit. (D disappeared off the face of the earth when he met his wife because he was so in love w/ her)
However, being outside of the situation, I can't see the entire picture. They both acknowledge what they did wrong and have forgiven each other. But do you think they need outside help like counseling? I just want my friend to be okay and wanted some insight on extreme arguments vs abusive relationships.
2007-10-25 07:38:13 · 15 answers · asked by rorybuns 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, good point to those who say I should butt out. I didn't want to say anything unless there were some red flags going up for people who have been in that position before.
Thanks everyone!
Also, smooth lyrics, lmfao
2007-10-25 10:31:14 · update #1
Well it sounds like they had a fight and the alchohol turned it violent. That is not abuse, unless you credit them BOTH with abuse.
So, they need to not get drunk
2007-10-25 07:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, it's hard to say as an outsider because you never know what to do until it is you that is experiencing this. She isn't going to go get counseling because you tell her too. She has to feel like she and her relationship need it to better the relationship. If she feels like she can't control her physical or verbal abuse during a fight, she needs to go find out how to, if he is starting the physical abuse, and she is just retaliating, then yes, they should agree to go talk to someone about this.
Rage is a really hard thing to describe, or to control once it starts. You may be the most calm person in the world, but there could be one thing that triggers you, and you look like the world's biggest psycho!
I hope they both try to figure out why they bring this out in each other. And of course they should lay off the alcohol if that is the "fuel" of their fire!! I wish her luck and solutions!!
2007-10-25 07:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by wfhlembo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope;people fight;that is a relationship despite all of the man bashing since the sixties it is as normal as peeing when you wake up in the morning; any "Mr Rogers" types that claim different are probably mass murderers or child molesters (do you know that Mr Rogers was an ex Navy Seal with like 50 confirmed kills? Captain Kangaroo was a Sgt in WWII that stood still under fire on the beach with bulletts whizzing buy his head to take the targets off of his soldiers? People are people,not pictures ........
2007-10-25 07:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex and I had a fight like that he was drunk we didn't really hit each other but pushed each other around. He called the cops cause I wouldn't give him his keys, the cops show up I've got some marks on me and they hauled him away. I went to the DA and explained that it was both of our faults, he dropped the charges and we were ordered to anger management. Ya it helped but we didn't stay together any how.
2007-10-25 07:52:27 · answer #4 · answered by Girly1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at this point- but keep a eye out for verbal and physical abuse- once they do it 1 time- it usually is a repeat event! Best of luck to you and your freind- You are a good person 4 looking out for her!
2007-10-25 07:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by sawgirl513 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If "D" disappeared off the face of the earth when he met her, THAT sounds unhealthy. That sounds like a codependent, clingy relationship.
2007-10-25 07:56:11 · answer #6 · answered by DeeGee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, no matter how big a woman may be, it is never an equal fight if it's physical. they both did wrong, they both apologized and are sorry. if they think they need help, then by all means they should seek some out.
2007-10-25 07:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha ha i just have to say that "smooth lyrics" made a funny comment
also, when a relationship gets physical, thers no turning back, they lost respect for each other, nothing can be fixed.
2007-10-25 07:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was the double wide trailer they live in damaged in the fight? This sounds like the crap you see on cops when some big fat heffer is beating up her skinny, mullet haveing, crack head boyfriend!
LOL!
2007-10-25 07:42:54 · answer #9 · answered by Smooth Lyrics II 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
NOT 4 u to worry about,
2007-10-25 07:42:15 · answer #10 · answered by GRUNT 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋