My husband has 2 children with his ex wife. Report cards recently were issued. My husband was pretty upset that he didn't get a copy of the report card sent to our house because he thought he had taken care of all of that at the beginning of the year.
He works nights and sleeps during the day, this morning when he came home, around 5:00 a.m. I had just gotten up to get ready for work and he asked me if I would call the school and straighten it out.
I called the school, they said that they didn't have anything on file for my step son's father- only his mother. I gave the info and requested a copy be sent to our house as well- his ex isn't very trust worthy and lied about the grades (she said they were all excellent, and they weren't).
She is a teacher at the high school- all 3 schools are on the same campus- so she goes over to have lunch with my stepson on occasion and speaks with his teacher. I guess the teacher told her that I called and now she is pissed. Was I wrong?
2007-10-25 07:19:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wasn't trying to step on any toes, I was doing something that my husband asked me to do. She called me and she was pissed going off about "how I have no right or reason to call the school, etc."
I didn't make a big deal to the lady at the school, just requested a copy be sent whenever report cards are issued, I know plenty of divorced parents who do that.
2007-10-25 07:24:19 · update #1
Power tripping Mom doesn't want to share this real info with you and your mate. If you can legally get a copy then I see no problem with what you have done. You are just doing something good for this other ladies son and she should be grateful that you two get along so well and you have nothing but his best interest at heart. Don't allow her to upset your day and get what is rightfully yours. If there is some reason they cannot give you a copy then the least that she can do is give you a photo-copy so you and your husband know how his son is doing in class and can celebrate with his successes and perhaps get him some help in other areas if necessary. Best of luck.
2007-10-25 07:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone here has said what I want to say (and I don't think you were wrong at all). If their mother really wanted to do what was best for the kids then she would accept you as a part of the family. I know that can be hard for some people, but one of the worst things you can do is have the "it's none of the step parents business" type attitude. You are married to their father with a lifetime commitment to be in her children's lives. You are a part of her family whether she likes it or not. You watch over her children and you have an influence in their lives. She needs to grow up and accept you as another mother to them. In many cultures (including a lot of Southerners) the children will call their step-parent Mom or Dad when they have accepted them. It's sad when a marriage ends that a lot of people can't just move on and be happy with the way things are.
2007-10-25 08:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by Whitty 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way I look at it is your husband asked you to do something and you did it. I do have a question though when you called the school did you tell them you were the stepmother? If you did then I don't see a problem with it. I have done it many times for my husband and his first son. It shouldn't matter if it was done by you or his father. Geez it is only a report card. Now if it was something else more important I would say let your husband take care of it.
2007-10-25 07:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by joan19701 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with the above post. Not at all!.. Looking out for the best interest in the children. It is best for them for you and the father to show interest in the childrens lives esp when it comes to school. If you have no interest in the world which the above post was initiating because it is basically "none of your business" then what are you going to do.. Let that Mother take care of it who from what you stated could BS the grades and not make a differance?
2007-10-25 07:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by juventus0151 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I have a stepdaughter too. Ask your husband to get more invloved, or if he's working, go down to the school and ask to be added to their info card.
We share custody 50/50. We also have the emails for our kids teachers. This has helped tremendously being able to communicate with them -without having to go through the mom. Ask if the school has an online program. My daughter attends high school and they have a program where you can see all progress and grades and it is updated regularly. Hopefully they do!
Their Mom sounds like a control freak. Weird!
2007-10-25 07:25:46 · answer #5 · answered by Tiff 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has every right to know the information and request same from school.
As the step mom, you do not have this same right. You are not legally related to the children.
Mom may just be upset that you asked (not that I am excusing her!) as you are a non-related person. It seems she has vastly over reacted, to me at least.
I hope this hasn't offended you, and has helped some.
2007-10-25 07:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by thatWhitegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this is where your husband has to stay up for a few extra hours to attend to this business. You as the step-parent have no legal right to ask for information about the child. You weren't wrong, but for the sake of not complicating things let your husband deal with his ex.
2007-10-25 07:33:08 · answer #7 · answered by Amy V 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Absolutely not! We have the same problem - we constantly have to remind the schools to send us copies!!! It is really sad - you'd think they would be able to figure it out...
Anyway - let the ex be mad all she wants - you and your hubby have all the rights in the world to get that information - the same time you do! And it shows you guys are interested - and worried!
Don't worry about your action - you were right 100%
2007-10-25 07:25:12 · answer #8 · answered by Me 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are not a custodial parent. You have no rights to anything and do not have the right to check on these things or correct them, even though your intentions are completely benign. This is something your husband should be taking care of.
EDIT I know perfectly well you didn't mean to do anything wrong and that you were just trying to help out your husband. But this is something that your husband, his ex, and the school need to work out. You really shouldn't be involved.
2007-10-25 07:23:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I know you were just doing your husband a favor and it really is not wrong. but, in the world of stepfamilies and courts/judges..., you are basically nothing to these kids legally . In the future, just stay out of these things, for the sake of peace and quiet if nothing else. Let your husband deal with it. it is not worth the headache
2007-10-25 07:35:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋