we have two kids and i am not happy with my husband anymore. He treats me like one of his employees. I feel like i am being abused when he craves for sex. i am not comfortable with him anymore. i dont feel being loved. gradually, i fell out of love with him and wanted to get out of this relationship. Should i leave without personally telling him the problem? should i leave him a letter? or call when i am away? Knowing his rage of emotions, i am afraid he'd get mad at whoever is left with him in the house. ( i am planning not to take the kids with me, for i am nowhere to go)
2007-10-25 07:11:44 · 13 answers · asked by wena000143 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see why your in a tough spot, but honestly I think that you need to try telling him some way that your unhappy and why your unhappy. I mean you can't expect to just know that, he is not a mind reader and shouldn't ask him to be. But if your way beyond that point and you just want to leave, I think that you should have a face to face converstion with him, he ise entitled to those emotions, as long as he is not abusive towards you when your having the conversation. I is entitled to be upset, that is reasonable, I mean think about it your going to tell him that your not in love with him any more and that you want to leave the marriage, and leave the kids there with him. That is alot for anyone to take in man or woman. Now if his rage is that bad, and your really fear for you kids safety, I think you should put them and their safety first. Maybe you shouldn't leave until you find a place for both you and the kids. Because they are not at fault here. So please don't punish them, or make them suffer. This could potentially affect them for the rest of their lives. So be very careful how you go about this. But at any rate, I wish you the best, and I hope you give it your best, that is all anyone can ask of you!
2007-10-25 07:25:34 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.G-unit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It appears you want to walk away from your entire family, you didn't mention if you have discussed this with your husband, how long you've been married. I think there are more issues involved.
A woman should never stay in an emotional or physically abusive relationship, and if your afraid he'll become enraged how can you consider leaving your children behind?
If you have already made up your mind to leave you should seek help from your local women's shelter, church or agency that can assist with your departure, you obviously have access to the Internet check around for help. Unless you feel completely threaten, you should discuss how you feel with him, and tell him your plans.
Silky
2007-10-25 07:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As most others have said please attend counseling. I cannot tell you how much it will help you. Go by yourself for a while. You may even want to bring your husband with you for marriage counseling at some point. I thought I didn't love my husband either, but counseling did wonders for us. If you decide that leaving is the best option the counselor can help you find the best way to execute that. You children should be a priority, I'm sure you can find a way to split up and work out shared custody. It sounds like you may be trying to run from problems rather than face them.
2007-10-25 07:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get into counseling with someone you feel comfortable with and have them help you sort through what you feel and start making plans. When you are comfortable with the plans and options you've made, have him attend a session that you will tell him how you feel and what you want. Hopefully, you and he can sort through it like 2 adults since you have 2 kids to think of. If you just up and leave him with the kids, you are just up and leaving you kids too.
2007-10-25 07:20:19 · answer #4 · answered by Amy V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's pathetic you plan to just leave your children. And you aren't even big enough of a person to tell your husband to his face about your problems.
You realize, maybe if you'd say something to him he'd want to try to improve what he's doing. I don't think counseling would work for you two anyway, so just ignore that suggestion. Counseling only works if the people involved didn't wait too long to seek help. I think you're beyond help now.
Just leave, don't even leave a note. You're a deadbeat, I wouldn't expect you to do anymore than just walking away.
2007-10-25 07:25:28 · answer #5 · answered by jezyka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just running is pretty cowardly, unless you fear some sort of abuse, and if that is possibility why would you leave your children with him. He needs to know why and if there is no hope then you need to decide what is best for the children. Preferably together but if not you need to involve a 3rd party that is not swayed towards you or the husband.
2007-10-25 07:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by Diamond Dogs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional help, both of you do. And I'd make provisions to take my children with me not leave them there to be abused, that to me shows that you have very low character.
2007-10-25 07:30:26 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ya, and I'm sure non of the problems you 2 are having, has nothing at all to do with you... pathetic.
Face it, you just want to run away, leave your kids and all responsibility, so you can have fun. Women call us dead beats when we do that, but for women they call it "liberation".
2007-10-25 07:19:01 · answer #8 · answered by gusto_musto 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get a lawyer first and they will walk to through what and how to do this the right way.
2007-10-25 07:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go to counciling first. It is really beneficial for you, regardless of the end result of your marriage.
2007-10-25 07:16:47 · answer #10 · answered by easily_amused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋