My dad has Parkinson's Disease. He has told us that he believes that within a few months he will no longer be able to speak. His speech isn't very good now. I received an email from him the other day saying that he will not be alive for more than two years. He has also told my mom this. I know that he gets depressed at times which is understandable. Is he just being realistic or is he maybe looking forward to an end of the disease? So, my guestion is..... what should I do? Do I just accept that this is his wish or do I push him to live?
2007-10-25 06:46:36 · 22 answers · asked by noonecanne 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
My parents do live together and are very happy. Married for 48 years.
2007-10-25 07:01:21 · update #1
Please, please leave him alone in his decisions..he is wise enough to know what kind of life he chooses to live. Ask yourself..would you want to burden others with your complete care as if you were an infant? I didn't think so.
I have found that, even within my own family, keeping a loved one alive at any cost is a very selfish thing to do..it is for us, not them! Please try to understand that I mean this will love, for you are a dear, dear soul. BUT, your father knows what is in store for him, and IF I were he, I would make the decision that when life is no longer a joy to live, that when the good of life is gone, I want to be gone with it. Your father has weighed this out very carefully, does not choose to deplete the savings that you or your mother may need, and for what? To live a life of embarrassment? I don't think so! Caring for hopeless cases gets old quickly, and all the love in the world will not compensate him for what he is about to endure..and ENDURE is the right word here. Please be brave, abide by his wishes, and perhaps be with him when he makes that choice. IT is a real honor to be holding the person you love when they leave us! I can think of no better way to go! I thought that my dear, dear business partner would have to make that decision and leave us with an OD of insulin, but the gods were kinder and he left quietly in the night less than two months ago. I had envisioned my holding him as he left, but that was not in the cards. I have known so very many who have made the decision that their time of life was up, and acted upon it. It is his decision, and help him in any way you can short of being culpable in the situation. There will be no autopsy, nothing but the final things we must do for our loved ones. I had my partner cremated, took care of all arrangements within hours, did all the banking that was absolutely necessary. IF YOU WANT to know what to do in this case, write me a personal email and I will fill you in as to what MUST be done immediately, if not before the event. ! Otherwise, you will be in for some nasty probate, etc. Avoid it at every turn you can. Write me, I know what you are going through. In the last 3 years, I have lost my Mother and dearest friend. Trust me, I will not give advice, but only what I have learned from the experiences. I do, truly care. PLease include your regular email when you write, if you write...I do not want this going through YA! email system. Love and Peace, Phil
2007-10-25 07:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will tell you something that may
or may not help. There are many
medications that Seniors are taking that actually give Parkinson's tremors. It is not the actual disease, but acts just like it. So Your dad needs to have a CLEAR diagnosis before he's ready to give up.
I don't want to scare you BUT many
Senior men (when they get to end of
life) can almost predict how much
time they have left. When a man
actually feels it is time to leave this
earth, don't push him to live. That
will just be for you but not for him.
Love him while you have him.
2007-10-26 01:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Am I reading it right that your parents are not together? If so, go see your father and ask him for permission to speak with his doctor so you can get the real deal on his condition and prognosis....There are SO many new treatments now for Parkinsons that in some case can even restore lost abilities...
Once you know what is the actual case with him, then yes, encourage him to fight the disease and stay a part of his loved ones lives.
2007-10-25 13:53:56 · answer #3 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why some would say let your dad have his way, he knows what he is doing. Yes, that's true, but I would want a little more information. I would want to talk to his doctor to find out exactly what is the prognosis. Once you have this and it is in agreement with what your dad told you then you can decide how you want to go. People have different thoughts as they face the end of life. Some will do anything and everything to stay alive, some want out. I know how I would want it, and it sounds like your dad does to, but I would want a little more professional information from his doctor.
2007-10-25 20:00:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am currently learning about Parkinson's at school, i would suggest that you tell your father to make a list of everything he ever wanted to do and you should go through the list and check everything off as you do it.
try to except the situation i understand this will be very hard, but you should starting from now try to make the most of the time you have left with your dad. because sadly he won't be with you much longer and he won't be able to communicate with you properly, so start now and try to save and cherish those moments you two can have together.
2007-10-25 15:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
See if your dad will let you go to the doctor with him. Then you can find out if he is just depressed or if he's being realistic. If he's depressed he can then get medical help with that. If he's being realistic, try to make the time he has left as pleasant as you can. Enjoy the time you all have together and keep him involved with the family. Either way, let him know how important he is to you and how much you love him. My prayers and best wishes to you and your family.
2007-10-25 14:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by luvspbr2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling very sad and I know you are confused. The old saying "Live Everyday Like It Was Your Last" applies to all of us my friend.
See him whenever you can and always smile and remain upbeat!
Send him funny emails and words of encouragement.
It would be tough for anyone to feel that there life is coming to an end.
Depression only makes his situation worse. I don't know that you can really "push him to live", but show him Love and Lots of attention.
Help him to see that he is still a Major part in your family, and that he is needed.
Bless you and yours.
2007-10-25 14:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by kayboff 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Have you read up on Parkinson's?Please do,and get into a support group.Remember this,their mind is there always.For his speech may I recommend suckers for him to snack on?The tongue is a muscle and the sucker keeps it limber.Just watch if he has Diabetes.He may just wishing for an end in 2 years.Realistic?In his mind yes...
2007-10-25 15:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gold Wings advice is the best you will ever find !! He understands how your Dad and others in the same situation feel which is amazing to me !!!! I have been there so I know and I couldn't find the right words to explain to my family how I accept my fate and I am at peace and ready to go !!! I have been through all the stages already. The disbelief, denial, angry, grief, and finally acceptance !!! Listen to what we say and leave it alone !!! Of course I was lucky. There was a new procedure they tried on me and it worked !!!! I need to ask Gold wing for permission to print this page out for my family to read if I ever need to again !!! It says it all !!!
2007-10-25 15:08:27 · answer #9 · answered by Diana 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My dad had Parkinsons disease and was a diabetic. Parkinsons was most devastating to him, because he was a vital man, and he lost his voice and the ability to get around, care for himself and eat. It was heartbreaking to watch him. I cared for him until his death at age 82. My mom had died 8 years earlier, it began his demise.
In my case, I became my dad's guardian since he was no longer able to pay bills. shop, do any banking transactions. Since your mom is alive, is she able to do those things for him?
2007-10-25 17:37:23 · answer #10 · answered by slk29406 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋