Should I be concerned?

Question

Today my wife went to work, to drop of a gift, in a trouser suit, and as she walked in a guy (18) said ''wow, you look hot!).

He works with her and to be honest, it made her day.

I'm going away for a week with work tomorrow and I guess I'm just being paranoid.

My wife is 30 and I'm 37 (the little git is 18!!).

Should I be worried?

Also, she has a works do for the girl she bought a gift for on Saturday, and I'm encouraging her to go as she does not go out much.

I'm kicking myself, even though I trust her, as she does not drink and I think she could be led astray..

The question still stands, but thanks girls, you have all helped me to understand.

I do trust my wife, even more so now.

Answer 1

give her some credit, and show her you trust her.

Answer 2

You're are being paranoid. From someone who has been on the receiving end of this for a long time, get control of yourself and learn to live with your insecurity. You can start some serious arguments if you voice these things in the wrong way to your wife.

It does make us feel really good when someone not so close as your spouse says something flattering.

As for the age: if you can look in the mirror and consider yourself someone else's competition, forget about the age.

You should worry only if this teenager were hovering around and your wife was encouraging the attention. Next question: what would she have gotten from him that she wouldn't be getting at home? time, interest, attention, compliments, etc.

Answer 3

No. Your wife would not have told you if she had bad intentions. She does sound hungry for affection to have told you such trivia, so i suggest, be concerned about you. You are the only one you are in charge of anyway. Do you know how to "keep it hot at home?" Do you have plans to send her postcards, flowers or emails while you're away? Do you have a game plan for keeping her interested in you? I bet you played your A-game when you were trying to win her, keep it up in marriage too. Women, being relational-in-nature, live for the dating-stage #@$@#!$. Did you realize statistically that married men score sex by far more frequently than single men? I think the biggest mistake men make is being goal oriented with relationship oriented creatures. It's a losing proposition to think that you've hooked your wife and now it's time to move onto the next task, goal, conquest, impossible dream. Relationships, especially hot and steamy ones, take work. I suggest reading, "Why Marriages Succeed and Fail" by Gottman. Also, I hear "The Five Love Languages" is good - do you know what turns your wife on? Get busy with it (flowers, date-nights, little love notes and whatever gets her twisted are good starts) and I bet she'll reciprocate ten-fold.

Answer 4

Is this little git hot too then. What makes you think that your wife would want an 18 year old, compared to a nice mature, sensible, non-jealous guy like your self. Be honest just cos a young guy has paid your wife a compliment doesn't mean she is going to run off with him. If she had any feelings for this guy she wouldn't have told you about the compliment, would she!!

Answer 5

It should always be a concern for either man or woman; a spouse for the other spouse.

What a lot of couples don't realize, is that what seems harmless, innocent interaction can display a reasonable doubt of suspicion with the other partner, and it needs to be corrected by that spouse. It is the responsiblity of both spouses to ensure that whatever is done and said, will make the other spouse feel loved and secure.

To be honest, the fact that a young man's flirtatious comment made your wife's day, warrants a loving time of communication of how that makes you feel. It would be easy for her to feel a little jealousy if a young model starts to flirt with you at a fast food and says that you're hot in front of her. What would her reaction and emotion be to that?

Neither partners should ever condone or simply allow external people to bring any slice of division or doubt in the marraige and relationship.

Answer 6

You shouldn't be concerned! The fact that she told you what the guy said suggests that yeah, it felt good to be told she was hot, but she also hopes that you think so, as well. After she told you you should've said, "Well, I must be the luckiest man alive!" and gave her a romantic dip over your knee and kissed her. It's only human to be anxious about things like that, but if you trust her completely and tell her so, sincerely, she has no reason to cheat on you. And don't be so hard on the nineteen year old "git". Some nineteen year olds are obnoxious and still belt out what they shouldn't. Be roud of your wife and show her that you're proud of her every day!

Answer 7

Look at it this way what if an 18 year old girl told you where handsome or hot how would you feel.
Not that 30 or 37 is old but any older person would feel good getting a comment like that trust your wife.
Unless she gives you a REAL reason not to.

Answer 8

So, you are worried that a little compliment and a get together for a co worker and a will cause her to go off the deep end, start drinking and have an affair?

See how this sounds? Crazy!

Any 30 yr. old woman OR man would be thrilled to be called hot by a teenager.

Answer 9

Oh boy can I identify with your dilemma! I wish I knew what to tell you.

My wife tends to attract that sort of attention, and she admits that sometimes the attraction is mutual. Then she'll add in kooky stuff like "I hope if a cute guy comes on to me that I'll be able to resist the temptation but I don't know if I will. Good thing you're here to keep an eye on me." "You trust me more than I deserve" Great! WTF am I supposed to do with that? Can you imagine if we said stuff like this to them? Gee honey I'll try to keep my wedding vows, but I don't know if I can. That would go over well.

I know I'm not being much help except to tell you you're not alone. I took the approach of being very understanding, but I'm not sure it was a good idea. Although It's led to much more open communication between us, I'm more confused than ever about her. I no longer have any clue what to believe and what not to believe, what to trust and what not to trust, what happened in the past and what didn't happen, and so on. I'm virtually certian that she's cheated on me, and at the same time I'm equally sure that she didn't. I've never felt more in love with her and at the same time I've never been more angry with her. My point of view is that putting asside my feelings and being 100% supportive and understanding is much harder and more loving and manly than the alternatives, but I can tell you from experience that if you're too understanding they seem to see that as weak or something and resent you. Of course a woman will resent you regardless so...

Maybe instead of being an understanding emotional doormat like me, put on your best but not over the top He-Man attitude, F- her brains out before you go, and remind her that she's a woman married to a jealous man maybe? Worth a try.

Good luck amigo.

Answer 10

As long as you are a loving husband you have nothing to worry about. No woman with a right mind is going to throw away a good man for a kid of 18. He gave her a compliment, that is all it was. Most women feel good getting a compliment from a man, especially a young man. You should feel proud to have such a beautiful wife.

Answer 11

I think he was just paying a compliment. Think about it. what has the 18 year old got offer her really? Your 37... a man of the world. He's a kid!! She probably felt flattered but a little embarresed, she doesn't go out much and doesn't drink. She'll have her wits about her... don't worry. unless their are other signs to cause you to be concerned, I'd leave it and take it as a compliment that your woman is still turning heads :) and she's all yours lol