I’m expecting a child in May. My first child is almost two. I’ve been thinking for a while about what will happen when the new baby is born. I would like to have someone help with my son so he doesn’t feel left out, get cranky, or just have a hard time. I figure my husband and I will be in the hospital for at least three days [of course he’ll probably go home at night…] but I don’t know what to do about my son.
What did you do when you delivered your second child? Did someone watch your first child while you were delivering? What was the plan?
I’m really worried about this. Our families live in New Mexico and Ohio. We live in Florida. It would be hard for them to come down for a week because you never know exactly when a baby is going to come.
If you’ve been in this situation before what did you do?
2007-10-25 06:31:20 · 13 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The sad thing is my husband is also in the military. Last pregnancy, he was deployed. He wasn't allowed to come back for the birth. This one is sort of special. At the same time we don't even know if he'll be here for this one. It's just a stressful time.
I do have friends that can watch my sweet boy but I just worry he'll freak out over it all. I'm sure I'm just over-worrying about it but I want everyone to be happy. Most of all, I want my son to feel comfortable. Thank you all for your responses!!
2007-10-25 07:04:53 · update #1
He's due to go back for his third deployment next February. Hopefully, he won't have to go because I'll be so far along but those who understand the military--you never know.
2007-10-25 07:10:21 · update #2
With the birth of my third child (second pregnancy), I had my boyfriends mother watch our twins. After the baby was born she brought the twins up there to see us and the new baby. Maybe you can get a friend to watch your son and then when the baby is born she/he can bring your son up there to see you, your husband, and the new baby. Maybe think about getting him a "big brother" t-shirt as well.
Mother to twin 2 year olds and a 8 month old!!!
2007-11-01 04:28:12 · answer #1 · answered by Mommy2three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello! We had no family around either when we had our second child (military) so a really good friend kept our 18 month old when I went to the hospital. My husband stayed until a few hours after the baby was born. After we were settled into the recovery room he did go home to be with our oldest.
He stayed with him a lot and would come visit the hospital for a few hours a day but we didn't fee the oldest should be expected to go without his parents for that long and then accept a new baby.
The first baby is awesome because your spouse can stay by your side the entire time but then it is just different with the second baby - got to take care of the first still!
Edit: Military is so unpredictable......maybe just talk with a couple of friends you feel comfortable and have a couple of different plans. That way when the moment comes you can deal with any unexpected surprises at least a little bit easier since you will have a way of going about it already sorted out.
I hope he can be there and not deployed!
Congrats and Good Luck!
2007-10-25 13:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are obviously going to need someon to watch your 2 year old. Unless of course you are planning to have him there in the room while you deliver. I know people do have "family births" but I think 2 is a little young to watch the birth of a baby and mommy going through the labor and delivery process. So, ask a friend or daycare provider if you can set up an arrangement with them for when you deliver and while you are in the hospital. Although your families are a distance from you you could try having them come around the time of your due date and use your friend/daycare provider as pinch hitters.
2007-10-25 13:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start planning now with a friend to watch him. Go over to their house have dinner a few times, maybe let him spend the night. If he freaks you can come get him but, Start slow now so that it won't be foreign to him when the time comes. If one of your parents or his parents are retired have them come the last month this is again hoping you don't go early. Still intro him to your friend/friends but try to plan on someone coming. Or if someone can't stay a month have people stay a week and keep alternating till you deliver.
2007-10-25 14:54:38 · answer #4 · answered by Big Daddy R 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any close friends in Florida that your son would be comfortable with while you are delivering the new baby?
I would recommend that you work something out with someone there that you trust to take him while you're in labor. Your husband needs to be with you; but after the new baby arrives he needs to stay with your son as much as possible. He should bring him to the hospital to see you and meet the new baby.
2007-10-25 13:36:51 · answer #5 · answered by I <3 the Red Sox 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well, i can tell you what my sister did:
when she went into labor they already had it planned that if it was a weeknight, then my neice would stay with their neighbors. if it was a weekend, then one of her daycare teachers would come and stay with her.
whoever was keeping her would keep her until our mother arrived or my brother in law came to relieve them.
luckily, our mom has an uderstanding job and so whenever my sister or i was due to deliver she just told her boss our due date and that anytime between dates x and x she may need to leave a short notice. boss was fine with that and so the day my sister went into labor my mom hopped on a flight and was there by the next morning. so, really my neice was only with someone else for less than a day.
can any of your family hop on a plane asap?
also, you really just need someone to watch her during the birth. after that dad can keep her and bring her to the hospital. he doesn't have to be by your side 24/7....you've done this before...remember that:)
besides, most people stay in hospital about 2 days...tops.
2007-10-25 13:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by joey322 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will be in the same situation in April. I'm fortunate to have my parents and my in-laws nearby. I'm sure when you first go into labor you can have your husband and son with you and hopefully your family will come out quickly and can then help with your son. Do you have a good friend who can help too? I would like to have my daughter there as much as possible so she can bond with the baby but I haven't given too much thought to it yet since it's far away (I'm due in April). Good luck!
2007-10-25 13:37:14 · answer #7 · answered by Precious 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine that you want your husband with you all the time, but your older child needs him a lot more than it seems.
Surely one of your parent scan get there as soon as possible? It's understandable that you don't know when the baby's coming, but they can explain that they need to get there ASAP when the birth is imminent.
You can arrange with his daycare minder to keep him until the baby's born and your husband can bring him to the hospital.
It's necessary for your husband to bond with the new baby too, but the older one can't be dumped somewhere.
So, all in all, you need to realize that this is a very hard time for all of you, and your husband will have to split himself between you and the older one.
The older one should be kept in his regular routine anyway, so things shouldn't be too different anyway.
Good luck =D
2007-10-25 13:56:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ethan-Mikyle's Mommy! 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you dont have any neighbors or good friends that would be willing to step in and watch your son during the day and your husband can take him home at night? if you have a normal delivery you will only be in for 2 days so its really not that long. im due with my second in april but i have family here so i will probably leave my daughter with my mom while i deliver.
2007-10-25 13:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by blondie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my son will be around 2 hopefully when we have our 2nd child. i feel that i want him to be with us (not while i'm pushing the baby out) since he is part of the family too and should be involved in the bonding process. if the hospital won't allow him to stay the night then my husband will take him with him and go home while I stay at the hospital with the baby. OR if i really need my husband with me I'll feel most comfortable with my son staying with my mom at our place. they are really close and he would probably feel safest with her.
so maybe your son can stay with you at the hospital or with your husband?
2007-10-25 13:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by blank 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋