Okay. Long story short, my ex-girlfriend and i had a very ugly break-up and i caught her in a lot of her own lies. B/c of this, i have trusting issues with her.
About a month ago, she called and said that shes pregnant and its my child.We argued, blaming each other, etc. And at first I had a hard time believing that shes pregnant, but there truly was a possibility that she was. (and that it may also not be mine...which was the reason why we broke up cause she cheated on me) but i owned up to my responsibility until otherwise. Now, she lives in NC. She called me the other day crying and said that she had a miscarriage two weeks ago. she started again blaming for her miscarriage and said shes been in and out of psychiatric help. then finally she said she doesnt want to hear from me again and hung up. SOO. now my problem is, that i dont trust her that she even had a miscarriage. what i can do to verify in fact she did had a miscarriage?
2007-10-25 06:06:06 · 20 answers · asked by blankname1012 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
there is a possibility she could've gotten an abortion as well. she may have but said she has a miscarriage instead. So given that, what can i do? i dont want this to linger on. i really need to know if she really did in fact had a miscarriage/abortion. Because if she didnt, i dont want her to go to court and said im a deadbeat b/c i had moved on and tried to trust her that she did have a miscarriage.
i know theres a lot of grammar errors and such in my question here, but i'm complextly exhausted, and i dont know. im so confused and dont know what to do, please help!
2007-10-25 06:09:58 · update #1
well i need to know, b/c it could very well be my child. i have that very right to know that. i am a very responsible person and i do not regret what we did together and having a child.
2007-10-25 06:11:36 · update #2
i want this child, which is why i am so concerned about this. i have no regrets having this child and i was very happy that she was pregnant. but regardless I need to know if she had a miscarriage/abortion. i feel it is my right especially if it is my child. B/c she is a person who has lied to me and i have the right to know the truth.
2007-10-25 06:18:58 · update #3
Forget about proof and move on.
Getting proof (which would be extremely hard to do) won't make any difference now. If you still want proof (which I think is stupid thing to ask for) you will need to talk to her and ask for prescription receipts (the doctor may have prescribed something if it was natural miscarriage). If it was a D&C, then the only want to get proof is by speaking to the doctor and that is not something that they will talk to talk to you about.
2007-10-25 06:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Face T 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it's different every legally. You need to get her medical records because she would most likely have gone for a D & C. You could go talk to her GP and explain the situation to them. But chances are very good that you will not be able to get any information from her doctor without her permission.
You could of course go there in a few months time to see if her stomach has grown, otherwise, I believe she did lose the baby.
Remember stress can cause a miscarriage, so it is highly possible that the breakup, her move and all your fights could have caused a miscarriage.
You could also have her draw up a document in which she says that she had a miscarriage and that you have no further responsibility towards her. In this way she can't turn around at a later stage and say that she didn't miscarry and you're responsible.
Good luck!!!
2007-10-25 06:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by Ethan-Mikyle's Mommy! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to give it to you straight here. She was never even pregnant. She is crazy and said that hoping to have some sort of relationship with you still since "she's pregnant"! Trust me, I've seen this many times before from friends that I never knew were nuts until I seen them do this. Then she figured " He is going to be asking about a baby in nine months, so I'll tell him I lost it! "
The other bad part about this is, not only did she do you wrong, she also did you waaay wrong after the fact by lying to you and saying she's pregnant.
You need to move on and don't have any contact with her, she's done enough to you already!! I hope you find someone who will be honest with you and treat you right, you sound like a great person!!! Good luck!! Take care!!!
2007-10-25 06:22:57 · answer #3 · answered by ~Kim~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello....well you could ask her for medical records. If she did in fact have a miscarriage, most likely she had to go to the doctor. If she gives you an excuse for not wanting to show you medical records then most likely she is lying, maybe to hurt you or to get back at you, or to just cause more havoc and drama in your life. And from you said in your question, she isn't worth your time, effort or love. Everyone deserves love and affection, and most importantly honesty. So go out and find some one that is worthy of your love, and get over her. Best of luck to you!!
2007-10-25 06:19:16 · answer #4 · answered by peacefrogzs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unlike most of the people who responded to your question on here, I understand your need to find out what happened and if she truly had the miscarriage. Unfortunately, as most ppl said, they are her medical records and you, therefore, cannot see them. Does she have reliable relatives or parents you could speak with? Maybe give them some details and see what they have to say. Other than that, it seems like a dead end road. Good luck.
2007-10-25 06:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by lysistrata411 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
straight off.. drop the topic.. until you get a letter from a court or lawyer saying you need to be tested for paternity.. forget it.. its not worth the headache if she cheated and you caught her cause if she miscarried or had an abortion, then it's not your fault and it sounds like she is playing the blame game and doing it really well to make you feel guilty that she cheated and you guys broke up.
also if it does turn up that she has a baby and tries to claim you are the father.. get a lawyer, make her prove you are the dad before you pay her any money.
honestly you cant do anything until you are given a claim that she is trying to prove...
move on.. forget her and get on with your life..
2007-10-25 06:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by jeselynn_81 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your EX, and whatever happened, miscarriage or abortion, she is no longer pregnant. Be done with her and her dramas, as for going to court. There isnt any reason why you would have to go to court over her. You really dont need this drama in your life. Move one, find someone else more stable, and use condoms to avoid unwanted pregnancies in the future.
2007-10-25 06:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by screw the rules 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Medical records are private, so you can't get info from those. She may have been lying in the first place because she thought that you might take her back if she was pregnant, and since that didn't work she could have just said that she lost the baby because she wanted you to feel sorry for her. I would say good riddance.
2007-10-25 06:11:17 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Uhm...good luck because I do not believe that there is anyway for you to find out other than waiting and hoping that she doesn't call you from the Mother and Baby ward of some hospital in a few months. Sorry.
2007-10-25 06:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude just thank your lucky stars you don't have a kid with that lunatic.
You think its fair to raise a kid in the insanity of your relationship. Do society a favor and plan your offspring!
2007-10-25 06:17:54 · answer #10 · answered by Wookie Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋