Ok, I had been married once and now I am divorced. I had been dating this man who I really love for almost three months. He left his wife and moved back to his mom's house and I helped him babysit two nehpews. We all the suddenly became friends and then several weeks later we were ending up dating and gotten serious. He had filled me up with dreams, hopes, even he wanted to have family with me... Then two weeks ago, he told me that he loved me and that he need to go clear his head and that he would be back... Guess what, he never came back... I got the phone call from his wife saying that he went back with her. I was so heartbreaking for the second time around. Like I have died again.
He knew what hurt me the most was there was no ending at all so I can accept that he was gone.. I couldn't accepet it until i know for fact it was over. but I am moving on.. but it is killing me inside to feel that I am unworthy and feel like being used.
How you deal with this?
Thanks
Ami
2007-10-25 06:02:08 · 10 answers · asked by Deaf Cowgirl 27 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Quasimod: Yeah, she did break the new... and Boy I was losing it! I don't understand why not my ex-boyfriend tell me himself before leaving me.
2007-10-25 06:09:24 · update #1
I knew I was dating a married man after he told me on my second date, (But he told me that he is going through divorced as well)... So now I am blaming myself for that as well..
On my frist date, we were just friends until we found ourselves somewhat invloved. He was the second person that I was in love with... I was too married at the time. Now I am learning my own lesson... Lesson have to learn, right?
2007-10-25 06:27:00 · update #2
I have been there before. I dated a guy that was seperated from his wife for a year before I even met him, She had moved in with her new boyfriend and everything. Then one day out of the blue I call his house and she answers the phone! She couldn't stand to see him happy with anyone else so she did everything she could to get him back and it worked for about 4 years. He finally wised up and left her for good and w are now back together surprisingly...
I just kept my head up and moved on, started dating other people, a few months later we started talking again and tried to maintain a friendship. Most people would not have stuck around after that happened though.
You will find someone that truly makes you happy and that loves and respects you too. Just remember God doesn't put us through more then we can take. What doesn't kill us just makes us stronger.
2007-10-25 06:36:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When are women going to learn? He was married, wasn't he? He probably also told his wife he had to "clear his head" and while he was clearing his head, he was with you...why do women believe in all the B.S. promises a married man makes? All he wants to do is just not feel lonely, that's all. Most men cannot handle being alone and they'll always find a woman who is willing -and eager- to fill the void in the meantime. Of course he went back to his wife. He had no right being so dishonest and hurting you the way he did, but make this a learning experience for you. Don't let this make you feel unworthy, just learn from it. Next time, don't fall for a married man.
2007-10-25 06:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're ex boyfriend didn't tell you because he didn't want to face you since he had probably deep inside wanted to get back with his wife but don't be surprised of some time in the future he wants to come back to you.
Just tell yourself that you can do better than that. Do some things now that you enjoy and will help you build up your own confidence and make a lot of new friends and you will find the person who will not have the baggage that he had, and be prepared to tell this guy to get lost if and when he suddenly decides that he would rather have you than the wife or he might keep both of you hanging in the air waiting for him to make up his mind. You can do better than that!!
2007-10-25 06:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you should to tell yourself that you're worthy woman. To prove my point, write down the good and the bad things about yourself and be honest with the bad things. I will said that you will have more good things about you than bad. It's human nature to feel that you're not worthy when the other party just walk out on you in a relationship. Lady, this is something I have learn about people being in a relationships. There are your Super glue (that last a long time), Set alarm clock (only last for a while), and Nightmares (make you afraid). I keep telling myself that I am worthy and that one wasn't for me. Keep your head up and good thoughts about yourself. you will be alright....hang in there....
2007-10-25 06:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In short, you are basing your self worth on what other people think of you. You take rejection personally, as if their rejection says something about you, rather than them. You have it backwards. If they reject you, then you need to realize that the other person must have poor taste if he cannot appreciate someone as wonderful as you. Why should YOU
feel unworthy just because HE is crazy?
Yea, easier said than done, I know. But you must realize that how other people treat you often says more about them than it does about you. Even us perfect people occasionally get rejected by confused, immature people who don't know what is good for them.
2007-10-25 06:09:42 · answer #5 · answered by Grandpa S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is, give it time. What he has done will always be there, but eventually you will be able to cope with it. Then before you know it it'll be something you don't really think about. The best thing to do is just keep yourself busy and go out. Hopefully you feel better. GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-25 06:10:45 · answer #6 · answered by wildchild 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guys go back to old girlfriends all the time. Don't compare your divorce to his separation because there may be no similarities. Your timing was just bad and it probably would have worked out differently if he weren't already involved with someone else.
2007-10-25 06:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
1st off you were dating someone WHO WAS MARRIED!!!! ummm red flag much.......your surprised that he went back to his wife? as much as you were in the wrong for dating someone who was married.....that does not make you unworthy of love...that makes you naive, as far as feeling used well you did that one to yourself...do not go after men who are married, whether you 2 started as friends or not IT IS WRONG.......move on and meet someone who is not attached, oh by the way how could you call him your boyfriend he never really was he was and is someones Husband...curious as to what lead to your divorce.......
2007-10-25 06:16:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Going through a divorce" doesn't mean he is/was unmarried. You CHOSE to get involved with a married man therefore you CHOSE to face the consequences of your actons. When he told you he was "going through a divorce" you should have told him to come back when he had the final decree in his hands
2007-10-25 07:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
His wife called you to break the news huh? Gee...he sure had a lot of respect and discretion towards you didn't he.
Well..I'd feel depressed knowing that I was taken advantage of too.
2007-10-25 06:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋