pregnant and alone! what to do?

Question

hi,im 24 and got a 5 year old daughter,and im 7 weeks pregnant to another guy who has just told me that if i keep the baby im on my own,and for me to tell the baby when its older that it was never wanted,i was only with him for like a month,my stupid fault,i know i know,just dont know wat to do!

Answer 1

im anti abortion, but you wouldnt be this way if it werent for him.. talk to someone, like a helplines, theres plenty of options.. and if you choose to keep the child, show it was much love as possible, its the fathers choice to miss out, in my opinion he sounds like a bit of a prick face anyway, so your probably better off with the child barely knowin their father.. besides, youll meet someone else

Answer 2

If you decide to keep it, contact an attorney....the judge will determine if you are really "on your own"....my guess is the answer would be ahhhhh NO. Tell the jerk that if you play you pay and you expect him to step up, be a man and take responsibility for his actions and pay support...that is what the judge will tell him.

The alternative is that you require the jerk to sign away all parental rights and raise the baby on your own. This will be more difficult financially but you will not have to deal with visitation and other paternity rights.

You could place the baby up for adoption if you think that is correct or you may decide to abort.

Go talk to a trusted friend, parent, minister (although minister will be biased as to what they will help with) or a pregnancy center like Planned parenthood. Gather as much information as you can, do some soul searching and make an informed decision...it will effect you for the rest of your life. Good luck.

Answer 3

I am a single mom too. I have a 17 year old son...and a 20 month old son. I was married to my babies daddy for 2 years, we divorced and then tried to get back together...the week I found out I was pregnant, he had moved out the prior weekend.
I have been alone now for almost 3 years. I am in Mommy mode... :)
I was put on bedrest at 7 1/2 months along and lost my job, but had disability and then unemployment. I then started my own business (when he was 11 months old) and am a stay at home mom...which I LOVE. It's HARD!!! But so worth it. My baby's daddy comes and sees him about twice a month for about an hour....whatever. He does pay child support, which YOU ARE ENTITLED TO....so see your child support agency NOW because it takes some time!! My baby's daddy didn't even start paying until he was 6 months old!

Answer 4

It sounds like you're already being pretty hard on yourself for allowing this to happen with him. I know a lot of people are going to spout off and tell you that you should keep your legs shut, etc etc, but that won't help you, or this baby and your daughter.

For now, get the creep out of your life and take care of yourself. Remember that this is your decision, not his, and that since he's made it very clear that he doesn't want to be involved as a father, you're going to have to start taking steps to ensure that he takes financial responsibility. Whether he forfeits his parental rights is not up to him unless you want him to sign his rights away.

You can go to your local county office and ask for assistance in making him take financial responsibility for this baby, that's what they're there for. Also, if you don't have medical insurance, you need to apply for Medicaid or some other type of assistance so you don't have that worry over the top of your head.

While others may disagree, there's nothing wrong with having two babies from different fathers, but remember that creating a life that will have an absent parent may present a challenge later in life. Once you have this baby, you may want to consider abstinence or contacting your local health department for low-cost birth control and/or free condoms.

As far as what to tell the baby, that is absolutely ridiculous. My first daughter was completely unexpected and we almost gave her up for adoption, but I'm really glad that we didn't because she has been such a blessing in my life that I couldn't ever have imagined not having her. You don't need to tell your child that they weren't wanted, if they ask later in life, you can explain that they were a surprise, and leave it at that.

The father doesn't sound like he's being very mature about the situation. If he's willing to do the deed, he better recognize that he may have another mouth to feed. Like I said, for now, just take care of you, and remember that surrounding yourself with a good support network of family friends is going to prove to be invaluable now, and further down the road.

Good luck, and congratulations.

Answer 5

Ask yourself if you want the baby!!!

If you do you can make it! You are not alone!

If the father says that you are on your own if you keep it than he's not a good man anyway and you don't need him in your life neither does the baby.


Important thing is that you know if you are gonna be able the give the baby the love and support it needs through out its entire life. If you do -than give it and your five year old the best you can. --It can be an Inspiration to your life.

Think about it!

If you decide not to keep the baby still get rid of the man!

Write me!-
if you need to talk!

Answer 6

First of all don't listen to your baby's daddy. You seem like have self esteem problems because of this. Don't let this get your down. I know you are your early 20's but everything will be okay. Start looking at the positives, such bringing life to this world. Your other child will have a sibling and can help you out. You will be able to spread more love to both kids. When the baby gets older please don't tell him what his daddy said because it was just hurtful and rude. Can you imagine how your baby self esteem will be. You be the best mother you can be and live your life well and at the end everything will be okay.

Answer 7

Well no one on here can tell you what to do-that is your decision. We can however, make suggestions and here is mine:

First of all-you are NOT alone-you have a 5 year old daughter. She should be your motivation to be a better person.

I think that if you feel you cannot handle this load on your own then you need to think about what your choices are and decide. That man you were with is worthless. He has used you and left you and I hope you don't let him back in your life. He will destruct your world if he hasn't already.

Answer 8

You NEVER tell your child that he/she was not wanted that would just be devastating and cruel. When your child asks where his/her father is you just say he left and leave it at that. If once the child is older and wants to start looking for him let them, so that on their own they can see what kind of a person he is. They will respect you for trying to protect them.

I hope you have learned your lesson - ALWAYS use birth control or condoms. Keep your chin up. I was single during my whole pregnancy. My boyfriend died when I was 6 weeks pregnant so I understand what you are going through.

My son is now 14 months old and the love of my life. I have a great boyfriend that treats him just like he was his. You will find someone that will love you and your child. God bless!

Answer 9

Have the baby and be happy. Things will work out and turn around for you. Unless the guy comes around and actually does want to be in this baby's life then forget about him. You will find a man someday that appreciates and loves you for you. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 10

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
- Benjamin Spock

You done it before for almost 6 years with your precious daughter, you can do it again. By no means we both know it will not be easy but you know you have it in you to have this child.

Get rid of this guy and don't get another until you and him are truly committed in raising a family. Good luck and do it for your daughter and unborn child.

Answer 11

To keep the baby is your choice...and yours alone. You can tell the child that his father chose to not be a part of his life, but never badmouth the father...because one day he may have a change of heart. I think you should do what you feel in your heart is the right thing. Please pray and your answers will come easily. You should check into classes, groups, etc in your city that offer support from others as well as counselors. Good Luck. Please look to your heart for the right answers.