For those of you who lost a parent, maybe both. How did you act toward your girlfriend? Did you push her away without knowing it & she wanted to be by your side? Or did you want her to be there for you all the time? And how long did it take you to get over your parents passing?
2007-10-25 05:12:33 · 12 answers · asked by ladydiana_a 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't mean to say "getting over it" in a bad way. I shouldn't have said that. Sorry!!
2007-10-25 05:51:51 · update #1
For those that lost a parent or both, I'm very sorry!!
2007-10-25 05:53:49 · update #2
And thank you so much for your advice!!!! This means alot to me!!!!
2007-10-25 05:54:18 · update #3
I lost my mom and about a month later she was strong enough to have a "talk" with me, telling me that I have retreated into a shell and was no longer giving her any attention. She was trying very hard to give me space to grieve and work things out in my own mind, but in the process I neglected her. Cutting to the chase, we broke up for almost 3 months, we are now back together and very happy, and I'll never fully get over the loss of my mom. BTW, my dad died in a car accident when I was 3 so it really was a totally different feeling than losing my mom.
2007-10-25 05:19:44 · answer #1 · answered by One Love 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not easy giving just one answer. Each of us deals with a loss, such as you describe, in our own respective manner. I have had a lot of friends , over the years, loose one or both of their parents, and when I lost mine, I finally understood .
It depends on the type of relationship one has had with the parent(s). Those who were close, will be more distressed than those whose relationships were aloof. Macho types will certainly push , and those who are not afraid to show their emotions will definitely reach out for the support. Personally , I was man enough to reach out to my gf at the time, and show my emotions. It took about 6 months to get my act together and get on with my life. Without her help, I probably would have been a basket case. Deaths are not a time for macho crap. It is personal, and affects everyone deeply.
2007-10-26 01:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by tracker656 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 67 years old. When my father passed away, i was 46. It was very very hard. I had a gf at the time, but pushed her away for about a week or so. I needed to grieve alone. When my mother passed I was 61 y/o. I was single, no gf, and grieved for months. I still miss both of them terribly and always will, but the pain has subsided.
2007-10-25 12:36:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ladydi, time for grieving differs with us all. Some are guilty of pushing others away and want to be alone to grieve. Others really appreciate having someone there to just listen to them at tines or just be there and say nothing but just to be there. We know that you are hurting also but at that time are dealing with our loss and so may appear somewhat far away and uncaring for a while. I lost my dad years ago and will never get over the loss but life continues regardless.
2007-10-25 12:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You will go through many an emotion when you're in grief. Its effects on YOU as well as others is to numerous. Prayer is the only way to help you come through difficult times. Dealing with the sorrow of losing a loved one is a day to day process that hopefully gets better with time. A true friend will be there for you. Again, give it to the Lord in prayer. Things will get better. My condolences to you.
2007-10-25 12:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by smooth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was also my best friend. We were extremely close and when he died it took me several weeks to get to grips with it.
My girl fried at the time a incredible and very supportive. She gave up her time voluntarily to be with my mother. They got on very well. I was extremely grateful to her and never pushed her away.
Perhaps I should have married her but that's another story.
Ian M
2007-10-25 12:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by Ian M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys don't like to show emotion, being by his side constantly will just irritate him, let him come to you if he needs you. He isn't one of your girlfriends, he shouldn't be treated like one. If you want some real insight on men read "The Keys to the Kingdom" Its a good book by Alison A. Armstrong
2007-10-25 12:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by cjtk52905 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When my mother died I was too young to have a partner, but I needed female company, have done ever since (that was 36 years ago). When my father died, more recently, I was married and we grieved together. You NEVER get over it, but you get used to it. Take care. Hugs.
2007-10-25 12:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by Pedantic Scorpion 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My wife at the time my father passed away said "now you'll know how I felt all these yrs" Now she's my EX
2007-10-25 13:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a sad time, do whatever you can to support your boyfriend. He will be stressed to the max and you need to know that in the end the two of you will be fine.
You never get over it...
2007-10-25 12:16:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋