My ex husband recently remarried this summer and says he is over me. We divorced in 2005 and he started dating a week later. I am the one that filed for the divorce but later regretted it and wanted to reunite with him. He said it was easier to start new with someone else then to try to repair our problems. He denied dating anyone for a whole year and then told me this spring that he had gotten engaged in January. I was very upset because we had never stopped talking. We talked before, during and after the divorce about us being together. I had always hoped that our family would get back together and was crushed at that fact that he wasn't honest with me. If I had known, I would at least given up the idea of us being a family and would have moved on. He stills calls, emaills, or IMs everyday but it is not about the kids. Is this OK? Maybe it is not healthy that he still talks to me so much. Is he happy in this new marriage? Am I concerned about nothing?
2007-10-25 04:43:43 · 14 answers · asked by Special2God 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not happy and this is not okay. Both of you previously agreed a divorce was the right thing to do, then he broke your trust when was not honest with you, then he remarried somebody else, and now he still contacts you about you and not about his kids. He is very selfish and does not love his new wife just like he does not love you or his kids. He only seems to want you and his wife to fulfill his relationship needs.
2007-10-25 04:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Frank 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow, I am so living this right now except I am the one who got remarried. My ex left me and moved five hours away right after we got married "said he wasn't ready" bla bla bla. By the way this was right after he found out I was pregnant so Yep I had a baby all by myself. But he does the same thing calls, text, im's and emails me everyday saying all kinds of things that really mess with my head. I finally (just this week) changed my phone and email to cut him off and I think that is what you should do to. It's hard, trust me, but you have to stop this or he will keep it up forever. Basically you fullfill something in him that he can get from your attention, it doesn't mean much for you though. Just keeps you in limbo, if he wan't another chance with you this may make him realize it and if he doesnt than you can be free.
2007-10-25 04:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by LilSunbeam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not healthy that he has so much time for you even though he is remarried. The new marriage will fail and unless you want to possibly be named as the reason for that divorce you should ignore the Im, the emails and the phone calls. He had his chance and blew it so move on and find someone better for you than this guy. Even if by chance he did get t divorce there and came back, he probably would be no more faithful to you than he is his current wife, so cut your losses and run
2007-10-25 04:51:38 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, it sounds to me that he is very immature. You on the other hand made a decision to file for divorce and then regretted it. You should have told him straight out, as soon as you realized that you wanted to work on your marriage, instead of waiting until he was engaged, or even married. If your feelings are still that strong for this man, then I would make a call, meet him for dinner, and talk about it, in private. Tell him that you realize it may be a little too late, but you fear if you don't tell him how you feel that you would be living a lie. However, if things don't work out for the two of you, you need to advise him not to email, call or IM you on a daily basis, unless of course, it pertains to the kids. But.... he needs to get a divorce if you two are going to make another go of this. Good luck to both of you.
2007-10-25 05:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by Only In Dreams 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he may have low self-esteem considering you're the one who filed for divorce. I wouldn't be flattered by him reaching out to you. Most "normal" people wouldn't crawl back to the one that kicked them out.
(Did he have an affair, was he abusive? I'm thinking that the nature of the divorce has alot to do with this ongoing behaivor-and probably not really a mystery at all as you're making it out to be.)
2007-10-25 05:03:24 · answer #5 · answered by cinny 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop answering the phone and replying to his messages and he'll stop.
If he thinks he can have his cake and eat it too, he's only going to take advantage of you BOTH.
It's over - ignore him.
2007-10-25 05:06:06 · answer #6 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't love you.
He is using you, don't do this to yourself you deserve to be loved but not by him. Move on find yourself someone who loves only you.
2007-10-25 12:36:13 · answer #7 · answered by 07observer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stop, He loves the fact you have not moved on. Do what you can to just leave it to dropping the kids off. Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone, you will tell his wife.
2007-10-25 04:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by Opps 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't let go yet. It's really unfair to both you and his new wife since both of you can't move-on with your new lives.
2007-10-25 04:54:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Show his new wife the emails and things will come to a head, he needs to stop torturing you and you need to stop letting him..
2007-10-25 04:51:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋