Ever run into a guy that has no brian about how to treat his wife?

Question

I have this friend that is separated from her husband because of an affair he had on her.....
He claims he wants to work on the marriage but does not know that what ever comes out of his mouth is stupid and selfish.
I can't stand it!!!! I want God to knock some sense in his brain! lol. Help me! My girlfriend, ( the wife) patiently is waiting for him to change, and gives him WAY to many chances!
awwwhhhhhhhh.

opps sorry, I meant BRAIN...not Brian, lol. Got to worked up and misspelled. MY bad...................

Answer 1

Nothing you can do, Hon. SHE has to want better for HERSELF the way YOU want better for her. It's a lot easier to see things from the outside looking in, than when you're IN it, and really do love someone.
The sad thing is that people CAN change, but rarely do.
They only change if they really want it.
He's realizing he's losing her, so he's gonna change NOW at the last minute? I doubt it. He's going to appease her for a while longer, and then go back to his same ole routine.
She'll catch on sooner or later, or once he's finally crushed her heart right in two. The only thing you can do is lend advice IF she asks for it, support-whether she's making a dumb decision forgiving him or not....and be there, when he finally breaks that last straw.

Answer 2

Is she religious? I have been to religious groups or heard people say that when they are upset at their man then they should remain silent and pray about it which is a crock of crap in my book. People may have done that hundreds of years ago but today we women are our own people. we have the right to voice our opinions respectfully of course and we also have the right to speak up when we are being abused. I do not know why your friend does this it could be because she is scared or so used to the abuse. I would get her fathers phone number if she has one and tell him what is going on. Many females tend to listen to their dads if they have good ones. Good luck with this, there is not much you can do, i have been trying to help a friend and it is seriously emotionally draining. Do you have a boyfriend or a husband? If you do try to get him around both of them and when that girls husband makes a nasty comment have your man say something. Guys get so mad and embarressed when other mature men put them in their place.

Answer 3

I don't understand these women? I mean there has to be a huge personal reason they stay with these guys. There are so many men in this world to suffer with an A$$hole. Is she in it for the money or has she let her weight and looks go, or is she just afraid of being on her own. I mean if I were her friend I would encourage her to be alone for a while to straighten out her weaknesses.

Answer 4

If he cheated there is a reason. The reason probably is more on the women side. Why did he go and cheat on her. Something was missing.

Your view is biased since the wife is your friend. You hear all the bad and negative side of their marriage.

Maybe the wife and husband both need to change. Just not the husband because with the attitude that he has to be the one to change, then it wont work.

And honestly, people don't change. Maybe for awhile, but they always go back to who they are or how they act. They need to be divorced.

Answer 5

Yeah, my second X....a real idiot. Some men are just like that and trust me they very seldom change. Their poor behavior stems from some obscure belief system that they are better than woman. It usually takes some life altering circumstance to change their way of thinking. I don't have the time nor the patience to wait for that to happen. And I certainly don't think my leaving would be enough life altering to change their minds either.
First husband figured it out...when he fell in love with a little selfish chicky who sh!t all over him just like he did me. I got my apology some years later....amazing.

Answer 6

Tell her that I can say for a fact that he will not change unless he goes to a shrink or something to work on his issues. A lot of my friends have cheated on their spouses and they've been taken back, only to do it again. They cheat and then they brag about it. I tried getting involved once, but it was such a bad experience that I figured I'd just leave it alone and stay out of it.

Answer 7

Sounds like God needs to knock some sense into your friend and not just her husband. Why does she think he will change?

He won't change. Tell her to move on and find a nice guy.

Answer 8

Some people prefer to be blind. These are the same people that come crying to you and ask you if you think their husband is screwing around. Let's say you reply "yes" and give your reasons.

know what happens? She goes back to him and say "Know what...so and so thinks you're screwing around on me".

Its called 'ankle-grabbing'. People who haven't the brains or the balls to see the light and confront their spouses will use YOU as the catalyst to lay it all on the table. Then he'll be pissed at you...convince her its a lie and also convince HER to be pissed at you as well because he knows shes a simpleton and manipulative and then you're the bad guy.

Let her be played as the chump. It isn't you're spouse whose screwing around. Let it go.

Answer 9

Well if your friend wants to salvage the relationship despite what he has done the best thing you can do is in courage her to seek God. Prayer is a powerful thing and the only way your friend can truly heal and find the answers she needs is trough prayer.
after she finds what she needs and if she stays with her husband the only way to truly change him is praying for him until he chooses to do it for himself.

Answer 10

ohh they are going to get you for putting brian instead of brain. To answer your question, what does any of this have to do with you? If shes telling you.. just support her.