my husband work all the time and don't have time for me.on weekends he still is busy on saturday changing oil in the truck to playing poker.and sundays he is gone all to play more poker.i feel like i not even married.please help
2007-10-25 04:11:31 · 15 answers · asked by Kelly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
At this point you are speculating. There is not real evidence. I would be careful in assuming, when it may not be.
Talk to him! Let him know how you feel. (Don't accuse him of an affair. That will only add fuel to the fire.) If what you are saying is true, then he is not considering your feelings, and not treating you like a partner. Just tell him how this hurts you, and that you don't mind him playing poker with his friends on occasion, but you love him, and want to spend some of his free time doing things together. If he is unreasonable after that, and absolutely will not change, then you really have to analyze if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life, and go from there.
2007-10-25 04:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am always amused that people say "Ask the Husband if he
is Cheating." Let's assume that he is cheating .... Don't
you think that IF he was going to be honest about it ... Then
he would have told you from the beginning???
My point is .... If you ask your husband if he is cheating ... and
is REALLY is .... Chances are he is NOT going to admit it.
So to answer your first question ... The ONLY way to know if
your husband is cheating is: IF he admits it. OR if you have
him followed and (you or someone else) can document that
he is cheating.
I would suggest (however) that you talk with your husband about how YOU are feeling. Do NOT accuse him of anything. Just tell him that you would like to spend more time with him. Tell him that you love him ... and that you want to improve your relationship .... If your husband cares about YOU and YOUR MARRIAGE ... then he will respond to your concerns and he will TAKE ACTIONS to improve the situation. If he DOES NOT respond appropriately .... then that does NOT necessarily mean that he is cheating ... But it does mean that he doesn't care enough about you or the relationship to make a change. At that point YOU decide how you want to proceed.
2007-10-25 11:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by kjh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should find your own things to do and make new friends.
But sadly, your situation does not sound like it can be resolved in a good way. Playing poker is fine sometimes, but not when it stands in the way of having a happy home life for both of you.
Putting poker before you lets you know where you stand with him. And it's not a good place.
Is he cheating? Hard to tell but either way you are not getting the attention you deserve. Good luck.
2007-10-25 11:19:48 · answer #3 · answered by mysterian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know that he likes sex, yet he is not making time to have sex with you, then that is a big sign he could be cheating.
I would ask to come with him on "poker night" and see what he says. Or, if you know the location, then just pop-up and see if he's there.
Most importantly, tell him how you feel like you're not even married, and see if he's willing to change his schedule around to make time for you (and then actually does this).
2007-10-25 11:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by just_treva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello Kelly!
Trust your instinct, this is the first red alert our brain triggers when something is happening, have a calm talk with him and ask the question directly, if he avoids the theme or seems angry , it would be a good sign that he is cheating, sometimes we need our space but this doesn't mean to completely forget about our partner,
Here' a list of cheating signs you can check
http://www.womansdivorce.com/signs-of-cheating.html
Best of luck
Fernando
2007-10-25 11:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel and if he doesnt change then either deal with it or get a divorce. You cant make he love you and want to be with you if he doesnt change then you can only control what you do and not what he does so leave and maybe then he will miss you more when your gone. Then maybe he will actually want to spend time with you.
2007-10-25 11:15:51 · answer #6 · answered by juniper555 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stop playing poker so much and spend more time with you. Tell him how you feel even if you have to write it in a letter to him. You dont deserve to be treated this way. You need time with your husband too.
2007-10-25 11:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DONT THINK HES CHEATING. MY HUSBANDS A WORKAHOLIC TOO. HE WORKS LONG HOURS THREW THE WEEK,SATURDAYS HES MOWING A YARD OR TWO,PLUS DOES SOMETHING ELSE,ON SUNDAYS HE DOES IT ALL OVER AGIAN. JUST TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND AND ASK FOR MORE QUALITY TIME EVEN FOR AN HOUR OR TWO. I FINALLY HAD TO MINE,AND SO FAR ITS WORKING.
2007-10-25 11:18:09 · answer #8 · answered by TABBYKAT34 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your husband about this? That would be my suggestion to sit down and talk to him about how you feel. Let him know that you would like to spend more quality time together.
2007-10-25 11:16:40 · answer #9 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet the first time he comes home from work and you're not there, he'll stay home and wait for you to arrive because he's mad.
You need to give him a taste of his own medicine, start doing things on your own and he'll start to get more clingy.
2007-10-25 11:24:13 · answer #10 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋