I am quite confused with this. I have asked this question earlier in a different way for which I was badly ridiculed. I really want to know the truth behind this. Is everyone one in this world inclined to procreate? Is there a strong physical urge to do so? Pleasde help. I am quite confused. I wish I never have children. I would be lot more happier without them? I have seen many woman worry a lot when they finf out they cannot conceive. Is this the same for men? Is it a biological urge?
2007-10-25 03:52:02 · 8 answers · asked by Pratap 3 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Biology
For some people it is a biological urge for others it isn't and there's nothing wrong with that. It's your personal choice if you want to have kids or not, especially if you know you can't be a good parent. Don't choose to have kids simply because people expect it from you, have them because you want them and can provide a good and fair life for them.
2007-10-25 04:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by kiki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can only tell you my experience, maybe it would help. I wanted children mainly because I reasoned if I would ever want to, I would not want to wait too long. I certainly did not have a fatherly calling or biological urge. But now looking at my little daughter,she is the best thing that ever happened to me. For me and my wife, are now have much more meaning in our life, and are seldom bored anymore. You can be cynical and say yes it's because we are running after the baby all the time, but no, it's not only that. Part of me are becoming a child again, and enjoying life as a child. That is a big one. Children enjoy life, until the realities of society beat it out of them. It is wonderful, getting excited about a barking dogs, fishes in a fish tank, big trucks...whatever. And then there is the unconditional love you receive. Whether or not it makes sense, it may help in answering your question, why people look forward to and enjoy children, and why people who never really wanted children, still end up enjoying parenthood.
2007-10-25 11:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by kwaaikat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I feel from my heart that I do not want children. It is perfectly normal to want kids, and perfectly normal not to. Really, everyone has their own purpose on this earth and I don't think everyone is meant to create new life. A lot of people try to tell me that "one day I will change my mind" and things like that. It's like they have a hard time believing that kids are not every one's dream in life. But I am telling you, ever since I was a child I didn't like the idea of being a Mom. If anything, I would adopt kids because I feel there are too many unwanted children as it is!
The only other side to this is the religious aspect, where some religions do not believe in birth control. I am not religious, so I don't follow that.
Once, a coworker told me that it was sad I didn't want kids. She said that people without kids are selfish, but she wasn't exactly attacking me. And I think, many people who want kids are selfish. They only think about the fact that they want a baby, or someone to pass on their genes, or family name. And those are valid reasons, but really they are quite selfish.
I think of all the horrible things kids now will have to deal with later. The environment, wars we are creating, not to mention the bullies in grade school and all the awkward parts of growing up. I don't want to put someone through that, let other people who really want kids deal with it I guess. Maybe I will miss out on the interaction and fun of raising a kid. But I have neices I love very much.
I think people who find they cannot conceive get sad because that's it. They have no choice and the majority of people do want to have their own kids. If I did, I would be sad too. I'm sure men have the same biological urges, because many men want to have kids.
2007-10-25 11:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ambi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biological urge is to have sex, not children. When children are born, the hormone oxytocin floods the female body and usually causes overwhelming love of the newborn.
If you now have children and are wishing you didn't have them, I hope you can organize your life in such a way that they will be tolerable to you. I sympathize with you as an older woman who always knew she didn't want children but grew up in an era when it was about the only "career" a woman was considered useful for. I ended up with no children anyway (by choice).
It may be that women who are unable to conceive are pressured and made to feel inadequate by society rather than it being anything biological to want to have children.
I am sorry if people ridiculed you for expressing how you really feel and hope you can do something to make your life better.
2007-10-25 11:02:38 · answer #4 · answered by Joan H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is quite many number of people are there like you.
It is not a mistake because you deserve it.
But one thing I have to say is, you feel this in your old age that you have done a mistake!
Because even the bacterias are creating two daughter cells before it splits(die)!
So, end of your life you may have another question that what for you on this earth? and nobody will be around you(close relation/blood realation) to share love.
You may feel lonely and hate yourself.
Please watch more children movies.
Definitely you will find the real beauty of love from children and may change your mind!
Cheers.
Raj R
2007-10-25 11:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by raj r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel so confused or down on yourself. There are many people in the world that feel like you, whether they admit it to anyone or not. I myself know several people who don't want to ever be parents for one reason or another. There are also many people in the world who will believe that only what they want is right, and will ridicule and belittle anyone who feels otherwise. Don't listen to those people.
2007-10-25 11:01:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i never was fond of children, AT ALL. after my nephew was born the other day, i grew attached to him cuz i was his caretaker n ever since, i've fallen in love with the idea of having one of own. it's not that ur abnormal or anything, u probly just haven't found one u like yet. i must warn u though, they're easy to fall in love with =]
2007-10-25 11:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was worried that she wouldn't be at all maternal but when she held her own child in her arms it was very different.
2007-10-25 10:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋