Don't you just hate it when people say, "I'm scared to be alone"?

Question

AARGH, that is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves!! It's not like we have BILLIONS of people in the world! I just hate when people use this as an excuse to stay in a crappy relationship!!

I understand if you can't read, write, ugly, have 12 kids or are SERIOUSLY lacking somewhere else, then YES, you should probably be scared. But if you have a great personality, look fairly decent and have something to offer in a relationship besides sex, then I say go FIND someone already!!

I LOVE my wife. But as much as I love her, if God forbid something happened to her, I would not be scared to be alone. If a woman didn't want to accept me having a daughter, she can go!

"Scared to be alone." What a crock... Enlighten me, please!!

Answer 1

Hey. Take me. I'm divorced and free. I'll probably never get married again seeing as where I can look at Fantastic 4 (Jessica Alba) without having my wife pause it for 45 minutes to 'talk'.
When I caught that ex of mine in my bed with my friend, she said something like, "Don't leave me, I'm just so scared" or something like that. I didn't really hear her because After 8 years of marriage, you learn to tune certain voices out.

Oh. To answer your question- Yes I hate it. I mean it's like, there are 6 billion people in the world. FIND SOMEONE!!!

Answer 2

the motivation behind the commission of the crime is i believe what you refer to as a 'hate' crime. and laws that punish the commission of the crime even more severely because the criminal targeted the victim solely due to their race, creed, orientation, etc. are in order only to help prevent exactly this kind of targeting: victim profiling. in this manner, i think the laws are sound. thought police to prevent misdeeds? possibly needed in some instances in today's society. what IS scary is the fact that certain powers/people are given wide latitude to determine exactly what the intent of the criminal might be: the possibilities for misinterpretation are endless. in THIS manner, the application of the law can be frightening indeed. thought police to predict what someone MAY be predisposed to do? sounds like a science fiction novel i once read.... as in many cases, the rule is just, IF applied fairly. finding someone to apply it fairly is another story. and as some others will probably say... "if you don't commit a crime, you have nothing to worry about." perhaps THAT is not entirely true either...

Answer 3

NO ONE should be "Scared" to be alone ... I've been SINGLE basically all of my adult life (except for a short disaster of a marriage) .. took the steps necessary, EARNED my Degrees (UGrad and Grad), WORKED HARD (and EARNED my Pensions -- including my Military Retirement!), raised my disabled children as a LONG TERM SINGLE PARENT .. and now ... FINALLY .... am an Empty-Nesting Retiree (and yes, I AM Female!).

SO WHAT if you are alone .. that does NOT mean lonely, does NOT mean you can't work hard to provide for your needs, or make it as a SINGLE PARENT (after all, I did it .. and so do many, many other women in the same situation!).

I walked away from a short disaster of a relationship (to an abusive, violent sociopath) because he ABUSED .. (including abusing the children for which he was CONVICTED!). I left EVERYTHING I EARNED and had to that point in time BEHIND ... I was willing to PAY to leave with the LIVES of myself/my children. I clawed my way back out of the massive debt I was saddled with (he stole my identity, during the divorce charged up a small fortune of debts that I got stuck with) .. and stole from my office, home, etc. He destroyed/damaged my property too (including my cars).

In the ensuing almost 2 decades, I have REBUILT my LIFE, my Financial Status, OWN my own HOME, raised my children (on ONLY my Income, because he NEVER complied with the court orders), endured the torment (whenever he felt he 'needed' something he would stalk, steal, threaten, sue, whatever) ..

He once again BURGLARIZED my home in August 2006 (and stole my identity too -- and yes, I FILED the police reports) ...

So now, this Empty-Nesting Retiree is preparing HER HOME for sale .. and going to transition to somewhere else .. because I WANT PEACE and QUIET .. to be left alone and NOT to be tormented any more. SICK and TIRED of this.

UNFORTUNATELY .. there is nothing that will help. I've got the Restraining Orders/Protective Orders, gone to court, etc .. but it is all a joke, and try getting the police to come out and catch the abuser/stalker in the act.

NOT SCARED to be ALONE .. PREFER IT!!! Want to be LEFT ALONE .. so I can FINALLY Enjoy the REST of my LIFE! (After all, I deserve it)

Answer 4

I was in a relationship from 1990-2004, 13 1/2 years in total, and all I knew from being a teenager. Then it ended very abruptly. For more than a year I was by myself, and if the truth be told it was scary, the feeling of isolation is indescribable unless you've felt it yourself. Some people like myself don't have everything to offer on a plate so it was very difficult to readjust. xox

Answer 5

Yes, but I'm biased here because I was raised as an only child. There were just times where I couldn't find anyone to play with and I had to keep myself entertained. I didn't have a sibling to teach my how to do things, so I learned a lot of stuff on my own.

But I've had lots of female friends who always had to be with people and always had to be in some sort of relationship. They were very capable, successfull and intelligent, but they always believed they were not. I know one of my friends had parents who constantly told her she needed to get married soon and probably insinuated that she couldn't do anything on her own.

I was going to say this is a self-esteem issue, but I haven't always had terrific self-esteem. Maybe it's just a lack of toughness and stubborness?

To comment on what another user wrote about domestic abuse, abusive relationships are a whole different matter. Men and women who abuse their partners are very good at screwing up other people's minds so they can't see their way out. If you can't understand that, you really shouldn't be working with abused women or men, period. It's really just another version of Stockholm syndrome.

Answer 6

No, they're just expressing a natural fear, nothing surprising bout that. So many individuals are used to their current setting and environment, so fear of the unknown is natural when you're stepping into a new territory. Some individuals need to feel the constant comfort offered by the familiar routine in some cases, and relationships can be an important element of their routine.

Walking out of a relationship or situation that you're used to and that offers you safety and reassurance through the feeling of familiarity it provides is like walking into your room and finding out that everything is misplaced and everything follows different rules.

Answer 7

Are you talking to me? lol Did I say that? I wouldn't say I'm scared to be alone so much, it's just that we've been together since I was 17 so I'm more afraid of the unknown. I don't know any different but to be with him, but I'm doing my best to learn!

Answer 8

I used to work in a womans domestic abuse shelter ... What do you think? Thats all I heard.. I'm scared to be alone, I love him ... He didn't mean it .... The excuses and idiotic reasons are endless

Answer 9

I loved being on my own before I got married. I was 28 when I met my husband, so I got alone time in.

Answer 10

I agree.....people who say this are insecure. I love being alone and if I find the right person someday, I will still want some alone time.