I understand why he wants to. and i agree. but i am 7 months pregnant. living at his parents home in florida. to be honest. i haven't known them but for three months so this is all new to me. mycar is broke. and financially i depend on him. yet i do not have access to "our" bank account yet. we havent gotten around to it. My family bought us tickets to fly home for thanksgiving. him as well. he hasnt gotten to meet a lot of my family yet. so its important to me that he goes. the tickets are non refundable. if he coes to cali he will miss this trip.when i told him i didnt want him to go he got mad at me. and said he thought that i would be more underanding. from my point of view we havent been together for a year yet. i am pregnant and 12 hour from my home with a family that is stillvery ew to me. i will have no car and no money. and my husband will be gone. is it so foolish of me to think that he might stay home considering he doesnt have to go. they simply asked if he wanted to or not
2007-10-25 03:13:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband should take care of his own family before he tries to go be a hero for other people. What have his excuses been for not putting you on the bank account? Or getting the car fixed so you can drive? If you don't stand up to him for what you want, he will continue to treat you like your opinion doesn't matter. He doesn't have your best interest at heart.
I don't think your doctor would allow you to fly while you are 8 months pregnant.
2007-10-25 03:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There are ups and downs to this. It is great that he want's to helps others. But at the same time family comes first. If he does go you need to tell him that you need to be on that bank account also. And that he needs to make sure you have a way to and from places. I don't know if your working or not but if not maybe you can go back home for the 30 days. Or as said before get to know your new family. He also needs to think you are almost due by the time he would get back you will be 8 months and babies do come early. Yes if you do go into labor he can fly back but what if he does not make it in time. I know that my husband was in basic training (army) when I had our son and I hated the fact he was not there for it and so did he. Also I would feel uncomfortable just like you if I was with people I did not know to well without my husband. Being in the service is hard because god forbid but anything can happen when out doing missions I guess you would say. And to know that you are about to be a father. I dunno that is a hard one I see both sides. I support every person who wants to help others. I mean most my friends, husband and family are in Iraq and yes he may not be going to Iraq to help but he is still wanting to help save others and that is great. You both need to sit down and talk and get everything worked out. Because you don't want him to leave and u both be angry. Good Luck. And congrats on the baby. It's the best feelings.
2007-10-25 03:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by jennie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My husband is in the military also and has left for long periods of time before ( I have a baby also) and even though I didn't like it, we found a way to work it out. There are many many women in the spousal support groups that have two and three kids all with their husbands gone. The military has trained our husbands to want to fight to protect our country and that is what they want to do. It's not a bad thing. You married a military man and you have to deal with the consequences of that...they will not always be able to put us first. Now the fact you have no access to money is a fishy situation, that should have been squared away a long time ago. That just doesn't sound right. He had darn sure better get the money situation figured out before he leaves, because that would make him a terrible husband to leave you in that predicament. Especially if he didn't want you working or trying to earn income in some way. Good luck to you, just try to support him and have mutual respect for each other. Make some friends of other military wives, we've all been there.
2007-10-25 03:32:00 · answer #3 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
wait a minute! you said that you don't have access to the bank account? Is this a one or two car family? why is he delaying on getting your car repair? Lady, how old is this husband of yours? I hope this open up your eyes about him! He should take care of his family first before he want to go and help else where. You don't have a job, no money, your car is broke, and you can't access your bank account? There is too many serious issues I see in your marriage. No, he should fix things up for you before he leave. If he can't do that, he have some major issues. It call his way only!!!
2007-10-25 03:37:27 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see any thing wrong with going to fight the fires. 30 days is nothing. What he is doing is commendable. Not alot of people are willing to step up for the safety and security of all Americans. Just looking at the answers here, there is to much me..me..me with our young people. Be proud of what he wants to do and support him. Think of your situation as a sacrifice. His motive to help others is a virtue that your child should learn from. You could have something good with your husband.
2007-10-25 04:07:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tough Guy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to keep his butt home. He's all the way across the country, and there's plenty of Air Force to help with the fires. If he does go, tell him you need him to get the finances set up to give you some control since he will be gone no telling how long. It should have already been done. I'm seeing some red flags here.
2007-10-25 03:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by Teresa 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Its better if you let him make the choice on his own. I know it will be difficult for you, but look at it this way. He can make one life better by staying there (yours). Or he has the chance to make ALOT of lives better by saving them.
I know at 7mnth pregnant its scary to consider being on your own. But its only a month, 30 days. Think of how many people he will be helping in those 30 days. Its not like he is asking to go to Vegas to party. He is asking to go help people that are in alot worse shape than you are.
2007-10-25 03:24:39 · answer #7 · answered by jcraw5879 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no, its not foolish.
honey, he is bieng immature, and besides that a lil selfish. you cant fly alone. (you cant fly at all after the 2 trimester) he needs to see that this baby is coming soon and that he has to be there. no, you not having access to "your" bank account is plain wrong!!! what happens if you need to drive, oh thats right you dont have a car either. honey, this man needs to care for you first and then worry about the California fires, or he is going to have put out his own fire.
luv.•´ ¸.•*´¨) ☆.(¯`•.•´¯)
.(.¸.•´ (¸.•` ☆ ¤º.`•.¸.•´
2007-10-25 03:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like he's going to go anyway. I suggest you tell him to get the finances in order and you have access to the account before he leaves.
2007-10-25 03:21:08 · answer #9 · answered by CC 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the military sweetie! Suck it up and let him do his job, we don't get what we want too often, so get use to it...
I was reading some comments, and in the military family does not come first. They are understanding about the fact that you have a family, but military comes first
2007-10-25 04:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Tankerwife 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋