What is your opinion when a married couple get into a HUGE argument -- is it better for one to leave?

Question

and stay elsewhere for the night OR should the two of you sit down and talk it out/work it out right away and not runaway?.....

my husband is the one who left the argument and spent the night elsewhere. i believe in talking about it at the time and coming to some kind of resolution. to be brief this is my first marriage and same for him. We are in our forties and have no children. we have been married only one year. Unfortunately, I must say this past year of being married has been the worst time of my life. eversince we said "i do" my husband thinks he owns me and can order me around, belitle me,make fun of me etc....He portrayed himself in a different light when we dated which was only 8 months. I am so unhappy and miserale. How can I leave him? I have no family nor friends for support. i have limited resources and have just lost my admin. job of 10 years. I am real low now and very sad that it has turned out this way; how can i go forward? He is a monster. you would never know it. he tells me i am the problem and can't do anything right. Who or how can i get some help. I am so unhappy...

Answer 1

Never leave during an argument. You can go to separate rooms to calm down so the two of you can talk rationally, then work out the problem.

Answer 2

It depends. If the subject matter is HUGE as you say ... and
one or BOTH parties are EXTREMELY angry. Then it "MIGHT" be best to take a "time-out" .... Give tempers and
emotions a chance to calm down. Then talk at a later time.

The goal should ALWAYS be: restoration, compromise, and/or forgiveness.

I don't know (however) about this "staying the night " else
where. I think that should be a VERY LAST resort. And ONLY if there is a VERY EXTREME and INTENSE situation
where violence would erupt ... unless one party left the premises. If one person (continually) needs to leave under
this circumstance .... then professional intervention needs to
happen.

Other than the possibility of violence .... I think that two people
that are married and that love each other .... and value the
marriage ... Two mature adults; such be able to reach an
understanding about when and how to continue a HUGE
argument. (Again ... nothing wrong with temporarily suspending the discussion until emotions are calmer. Because harsh things said in anger are hard to heal!)

Hope that this is helpful!

Answer 3

Whenever you get into an argument, big or small, you have to do whatever you can to solve the problem. You can't runaway from it and go sleep somewhere else. That will just add to the problem and probably create another one. When you confront the problem, that is when you become closer. That's communication. You can never be selfish in a marriage, because selfish people should be alone.

Right now, you have to know what you did that upset him so much? Is it something you said, something you did, or the way you think? What does he think now? Does he feel different towards you? What would he love you to do and how would he love you to think? Then, you have to tell him what you would love and how you feel, etc. You both have to respect eachother. You can't push it under the rug.

Marriage is when you make him happy with love, respect, trust and communication. That's the only way you will get it from him. Good Luck

Answer 4

It is always better to try and talk it out but if things get to heated and it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere then maybe one of you should take a walk and cool off. I don't know about leaving for the whole night though. I would miss my husband no matter how bad the fight.

Answer 5

I think that, when two people have a huge disagreement, they could take time to cool off, then agree to discuss things calmly after an hour or day -- whatever works. but DO try to resolve the issue or come to some sort of compromise.

And while you are discussing the issue, perhaps you could consider agreeing to try to sit down and discuss your differences calmly from this point forward? it takes work, but you can do it.

i hope things go well for you.

Answer 6

Don't run, just walk away, why would a person have to take that kind of moments in life, if life isn't supposed to have that kind of problems unless you just want them in your life. A good thing would do like I did with my ex at the moment she started a problem, why would I have to take that kind of things from her?, if I just want to live a peaceful and happy life, I am not meant to take anything from anyone, so I don't see the point of fighting. Some people do.

Answer 7

It depends! If it is a heated arguement and the two of you are being hurtful to one another, someone needs to walk away and calm down. It isn't about running away, it is about trying to control yourself and keep from saying things that you can't take back! Taking time out to calm down and put things back in perspective before you try to talk is sometimes the best thing to do!

Answer 8

Depends on the level of anger that is building. If someone is getting so mad during the argument that they feel the need to get physical, then yes they should step away and think it over individually. But if they aren't getting to that level of anger then they should have a sit and talk.

Answer 9

Gotta talk about it, otherwise it'll jujst escalate into bigger things, get it over with and work it out that day!!! Maybe walk away for a little while but don't not come home or anyhting just cool off in another room or outside for air or something.If you love eachother you'll work it out!

Answer 10

Both stay in the home.
Wait till later after you both have calmed down then talk.
If it takes 3 days to be calm then wait 3 days but running and hiding won't help a thing.