Is the school interfering with our fundamental right to control the upbring of our boys?

Question

QUESTION IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE OR YOU HANDLE THESE MATTERS. PLEASE ADVISE.

I believe Belleview high school and the wrestling program is attempting to interfer with our fundamental rights to control the upbringing of our 2 boys. Wrestling requires traveling atleast 4 times for the varsity wrestlers. Our two sons for the past 3 yrs have been varsity.

My wife and I travel to the matches and have required them to stay with us. This has raised many questions and this year at the meeting they have stated no child will be allowed to stay with their parent and if they are eliminated at the tournament they can not leave and must stay even if its the next day. Since we are there I feel they might as well leave with us , as we are self employed and the boys work with us when possible.

My wife and I both are pastors and do not believe in letting our sons stay with no one we do not know. All our principles are based as bible beliving parents.

They tried to keep our 2 boys who quali

Answer 1

Well, being on a team is sort of like religion. Stick with me here. Your religion has a set of rules you must follow. Right? And as I was once told by a catholic priest who would not allow me to be the godfather for my niece, if you cant follow the rules to the letter, you cant be a member of the religion. There are no special exceptions.

Same thing in this situation. There is no "fundamental right" to be on the wrestling team, is there? You can raise your kids the way you want to. But if you want them to be on the wrestling team, you have to submit to the rules of the wrestling team. There are no exceptions for your religion. It's a very simple concept. Now if you want to take your kids out of school and homeschool them the way you want to...a fundamental right I suppose...have at it. But if you want your kids to become part of society and learn the concepts of team play and discipline that are inherent in competitive sports, you are going to have to start allowing them to comply with the rules of the sport and the program.

That's just kind of fundamental.

Answer 2

Is Belleview a public school? You might consider whether you wouldn't rather put them in a private Christian school. These kinds of issues arise frequently with public schools because they are thinking in terms of their level of control over the athletes, and having them all together under the coach's observation will reduce the problems for the coach. Your interests are just not as important to them.

And frankly, you know they are going to argue that varsity sports are all voluntary, so if the kids don't like the rules, they can always quit the team. Not a very satisfactory answer, but presumably what will be said. To go further, you'd have to consult a civil rights lawyer.

Answer 3

Sports are an extacurricular voluntary activity. The school has the right to make reasonable team rules and enforce them. They cannot make your sons stay with the team, but the coach could also remove them from the team for violating team rules.
A rule that says team members stay with the team is more than reasonable and is quite common. A rule saying they stay for the whole meet is also reasonable, as they are a team.
If you do not want your sons staying with the team on road trips, you will have to tell them to quit the team.

Answer 4

This is kind of a toughie. Best thing I can suggest is think about what would happen if all parents felt this way. You've been with them enough time now to know if the coaches are trustworthy. But if everybody did what you do, the situation would rapidly become chaotic, with them not being able to tell for sure where everybody was at one time. From your question, I assume they are at least 16, if not older. This is plenty old to be under the authority of another adult. But from personal experience, when I was in school, my parents refused to let me go on a class trip unless one of them went, and it made me feel really betrayed and not trusted. I had given them no reason not to trust me and they didn't anyway! Think about what you are saying to your boys.

Answer 5

As much as you probably don't want to hear it, you are exercising you fundamental rights when you choose whether or not to allow your children to participate in scholastic athletics. It's unfair to the other athletes and their families to demand special privileges, no matter how honorable your intentions.

If you don't like the way things are done, the appropriate way to address the situation is through the administration. It is common practice in team sports for the team to remain together, supporting each other. There's more to team sports than the competition--it's about bonding, sacrifice for your team-mates, and brotherhood.

If you're worried that by letting your children out of your sight will expose them to negative influences, then the question is how much confidence you have in the values you've taught them. I suspect you've done a good, conscientious job (or you wouldn't be writing this) and that they know right from wrong--trust that they'll act responsibly.

Finally, for your worries about letting your children stay with "no one we do not know"--my advice is simple: get to know them. Get to know the coaches, participate in a booster organization, or volunteer as a chaperon. Some of these folks may not share all of your values, but I think you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised in the overall quality of the people who are devoting themselves and their valuable time to the kids. As clergy, while this venue is probably not and appropriate situation for witnessing, your involvement will have the added benefit of allowing you to lead by example.

Answer 6

I think you're making more of an issue if this than you need too. Your boys are part of a team and have an obligation to make a commitment to their team. The school and coach are trying to instill the concept of teamwork in your boys.

There are probably reasons why the team would want your boys to stay even if they are disqualified in case they are needed to fill in for an injured teammate.

You need to cut the chord. Your kids can be on a team and still keep the values you are trying to teach them. It's not as if they are trying to change your boys values and ideals.

Answer 7

Even though wrestling emphasizes the individual match and one-on-one competition, it is still a team sport, even if your sons are eliminated early they still stay for the good of the team. Taking them home early would be like taking them home from a football game at halftime because they didn't play.

If it really bothers you, take them off the team.

And if I may say, your attitude of "since my boys lost, we might as well leave" is an insult to the team and a defeatist attitude your boys will pick up.

Answer 8

Participation on the wrestling team is voluntary on your part, they are not interefering with your parenting rights as you have the choice to take them out of the program at any time.

Anytime you voluntarily join any team or gruoup you are bound by their rules. Since the school is responsible for your child while on these trips, they insist that they stay under the schools supervision.

Answer 9

You have a right to your beliefs of course but you are not required to participate in the wrestling program. There are rules that you could challenge but in the end, they have a right to make that rule. As long as the rules are not harmful, discriminatory, etc. Just think, you could basically make that argument against any extracurricular activity. For example, you could say Cheerleading camp is interfering with your rights because parents don't go and it is required and you don't want to send you child, etc. etc. etc..... You have a choice not to participate in those types of activities. They can't please every parent in every way.

Answer 10

The school has to have the same set of rules for all students/athletes and you are actually trying to interfere in their policies. If you don't like their policies don't allow your children to participate in their sports programs. It wouldn't be right for each student to be able to leave as soon as they were eliminated, there would be no support for those going to the end, no team comraderie, that kind of thing. I am a christian also, and do everything in my power to encourage my children to make good, sound choices based on their beliefs in God and the bible, and the moral teachings I have raised them with, but we are all human and all make poor choices/decisions throughout life and if you don't allow your children to have those opportunities now you are just asking for bigger problems as they get bigger and have bigger choices/decisions to make and no experience in making them. Good luck and God Bless.