Question for married men about cheating/affairs?

Question

After reading some of the posts on yahoo questions and answers (eg, "how can I cheat on my wife and get away with it?")and having just heard about some unbelievable site called affairmatch.com, I have begun to feel really disconcerted about the whole idea of marriage as a declaration of commitment between two people. I'd really like to know if there are married men out there who have not and would never cheat on their wives, no matter what, even if the opportunity presents itself out of the blue and you think you can get away with it. I mean, if you have a problem with the relationship, why not just end it, versus cheating on someone--the ultimate betrayal of trust? What is the point of marriage if someone doesn't take it seriously? I'd like to believe in my hopes and dreams for the future, of being married someday and spending the rest of my life with someone, but I am really starting to lose faith in people in general. i guess I am ultimately afraid of getting hurt.

Answer 1

I made a vow to my wife when we got married to be faithful to her and no matter what I will always do so. If I was unhappy I would leave her and once the divorce was final I would feel free to do what I want, but cheating is the ultimate betrayal. People these days do not take marriage seriously enough. In the end the most precious thing that you have is your word. That is all that really belongs to you, the rest is just stuff that you get to borrow while you're living.

Answer 2

OK Liz, here's how you keep him playing in your court. Before you tie the knot, tell him that you have certain rules for your relationship. Let him know what all of these are; the little ones as well as the big ones. Then tell him you want to show him what will happen if he breaks, or comes close to breaking, any of them. Order him to drop his pants and get over your knee and then start whacking that bare bottom until it turns rosy red. Before he gets up, explain that this was just a sample and that it could be a lot harder and with something other than your hand, depending on how serious you feel his mistake was. He will either run or you'll have a faithful relationship. Good luck.

Answer 3

Really it is a few jerks that give the rest of us a bad name.
I have never cheated on my wife and never would.
During the last year of my first marriage I was presented with the opportunity, and declined even though I knew my marriage was in trouble. I just could not do it as long as I was still married to her. I am married for the second time now, 19 years.

Answer 4

Marriage is like a horse farm. When there is only one Philly around, the mare has no choice. Put in a bunch of Phillie's then the mare while still young will stray into other pastures.
As the mare gets older, the Phillie's are just there to look at, but his main Philly is the one he is always grazing with.

Young married folks are just that, young and wild and get bored easily, but after a few years, we men realize that companionship is more important than a toss in the sack.

Answer 5

There is no such thing as person that you know will NEVER cheat. That goes for even you. Everyone has their breaking point and if the stars line up at the perfect moment in someone's life we are all vulnerable. It doesn't mean that we all cheat, yet we are all susceptible. That is why marriage is so damn hard, and it will be the hardest thing you ever undertake. To trust someone with all of your might that in a sea of temptation they will not waiver. My biggest problem is that too many people see sex as the one major action of love. I would much rather my wife have a one night stand than to start talking to another man and end up garnering feelings for him. It is much easier for me to get over a person's indiscretions regarding sex because I understand that so long as it is done safely it could be as harmless as shaking someones hand. Simply skin touching. Now, if my wife allows another man to enter her heart and she falls for him, THEN and only then do I truly feel betrayed.

Answer 6

First of all, WHO said that marriage was ever supposed to be a declaration of commitment? But let's assume that it it: Who said that it is a declaration of monogamy?

This is a notion, which has been forced on us by religious conservatives. It is completely possible to be totally committed to one person for life, but still have multiple lovers. Commitment involves MUCH more than sleeping together and you need to realize this. In every culture throughout history--pre-Christianity--it was commonly accepted that there would be sexual activity outside of the marriage--by both people! In Rome and Greece, there were actually women in the temples of worship who would have sex with worshipers in order to help bring them closer to Deity! How would you like THAT for a Sunday morning service?

Marriage is the joining of two people in a comitted relationship. That has nothing to do with whom they ahve sex. Stop getting the two confused.

Answer 7

i understand how you feel, really do. one thing i can tell you is that a know quite a few women that cheat and are totally fine with it, that doesnt mean you will do it. same thing goes for men. and if you are faithful, why should you be the only one??

Answer 8

rebel people get tired of the same thing. it depends on your tolerance 10, 20 30 years...

Answer 9

been married for 12 years never cheated.last week a female co worker asked me what if a beatiful woman get naked infront of you will you sleep with her? my respond was i dont know because it never happend to me yet. honestly i dont know and i hope it will never happens..

Answer 10

Oh God, I am so sick of this question coming up.

Men or Women who will cheat, WILL.

Just find yourself a real man and you will not have to worry.