Why do some kids suck their thumbs and/or tongue beyond five yrs. How can I make my daughter stop it?

Question

My daughter has been sucking her tongue in such a manner as if sucking her mother's breast since she was born. She is now 7yrs old and when she sleeps, her tongue still comes out. I usually force the her mouthh to close up. How can she stop this permanently?

Answer 1

The reason why many children continue to suck their thumbs long after toddlerhood has to do with the psychological needs of the child. Our brain has the ability to produce endorphins, or mood altering chemicals, in response to smells, sounds, actions or objects. The brain controls our emotions and feelings in response to these chemicals. Pleasurable activities such as thumbsucking, gambling, running, eating stimulate the brain to release these endorphins that stimulate a sense of well-being and pleasure. Thumbsucking triggers a calming, relaxing sensation to occur in the child. An infants first experience with pleasure which creates a calm feeling is sucking and getting food.

As most infants develop independence they become more mobile and too busy to bother with thumb sucking and therefore quit. When a child continues to suck their thumb many parents start to use punishment, negativity, yelling and frustration to try to stop them. This only makes the habit more entrenched. Many times older children who suck their thumb have to endure pushy comments made by other children, teachers and complete strangers about this habit that brings them so much pleasure. They begin to feel ashamed and that they are a bad person because of all the ridicule and insults they receive.

A child who sucks her thumb will have dental and speech problems. The top jaw begins to form a gap in the front where the thumb is always placed causing an open bite. Other problems include a cross bite,crooked teeth, malocclusions, lisps, or a tongue thrust.

Prevention of prolonged sucking into childhood is probably the best defense that parents can take. First of all, a parent must meet their infant and toddler's emotional needs. Give your baby and toddler a structured day. Respond to their crying to soothe them. They are either tired, hungry, cold, bored or wet. Find out what it is and meet their needs. Give your child a feeling that they are safe with you at home or in a daycare they will feel safe at.

If your child is still sucking their thumb after age five intervention is necessary. The timing of this intervention is important. Do not try any intervention when they are starting on a new endeavor in their life. This means a new school, home, sibling, parent etc.

The first step is to validate your child’s feelings when you begin to talk to them about their thumb sucking habit.

Make sure you tell them that you know it is hard for them but you are confident they can be successful at quitting.

When your child is first trying to stop sucking their thumb keep their life on an even keel. Maintain a predictable routine in your home. Make sure the child is well fed and rested. Have them stay home from school and make it a three day weekend to work on the habit. Eliminate the blankie, or whatever they have that is associated with the thumb sucking. The first few days is the most difficult and emotional. The child may experience withdrawal symptoms. The child may be unable to fall asleep by themselves and may become irritable. You can talk with your child and eliminate only the daytime sucking if need be at first. Once this is mastered then work on the night time sucking. Create a progress chart of their small accomplishments; when they went one hour without sucking, then the day, then two days, and on up. Give rewards for accomplishments. Keep your child busy and distracted during these first few days or if they are relapsing. Let your child munch on food or chew gum to keep their mouth busy. Remember this hard time is temporary.

Rarely does another bad habit replace the thumb sucking habit: your child can be successful with your support, love and encouragement.

Answer 2

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RE:
Why do some kids suck their thumbs and/or tongue beyond five yrs. How can I make my daughter stop it?
My daughter has been sucking her tongue in such a manner as if sucking her mother's breast since she was born. She is now 7yrs old and when she sleeps, her tongue still comes out. I usually force the her mouthh to close up. How can she stop this permanently?

Answer 3

I'm 40 years old and have been sucking my tongue for as long as I remember. Yes, I do believe that it's a comfort mechanism of sorts and I also agree with what someone else said earlier that it might be because of enlarged tonsils (especially since I do have an issue with breathing and have been recently diagnosed with sleep apnea). There are times when I do wish I didn't because it does appear baby-ish so perhaps an approach that is somewhat subtle might help. Like a friendly reminder every now: "Sweetie, try to keep your mouth closed" type of thing.
All the best!

Answer 4

Well I am 40 now & in the past I sucked my thumb till I was 11 years old! I don t remember how I got the habit or when I even started the habit but my father has told me I started as a toddler but I remember how the habit completely stopped! I had an extra wisdom tooth grown on top of my gum, so the dentist had to pull the normal tooth behind for the wisdom tooth to take it s place! I had to wear a special plate in my mouth too support my wisdom tooth to stay in line with the other top teeth! Thank God I had worn a plate for 1 whole year & it had completely stop that habit BUT I blame it on my parents for not understanding that a child was going through depression & the only way that a child can ease the pain was to suck their thumb & I believe I am 1 of those child! Today my jaw line is unbalanced! when I have my anxiety attacks my jaws tightens, my speech slurs! It also hurts when my partner say s that I have crooked teeth... This has effected me emotionally & physically! I don t blame any1 but my parents for not understanding what the damages can do from sucking your thumb! It may not effect you now as a toddler but it will later in adulthood! I give advice to the parents who children suck there thumb & ask them why they are sucking there thumb for? Cause it is a nasty bad habit & I do not want any other child to go threw what I m going through now! Thankyou for reading. Maxie

Answer 5

I sucked my thumb/tongue until I was 11. My parents tried everything. The harder they tried, the more I stuck to it. My mom finally went to the dr. and the dr. said ... if it doesn't bother her, it shouldn't bother you. She was also asked "how many adults do you see sucking their thumbs?" (BTW, I never had dental issues, or braces, and have always has perfectly strait teeth)

It is a need your daughter has right now, for whatever reason it gives her comfort, don't take it away.

Ask yourself who this really bothers more, you or her? If she comes to you and says " mom I wish I didn't do this" then help her to overcome it, but it if it you, then you just need to relax, she'll be fine.

I'm not only speaking as a former thumb sucker, but also as a mom of 2 that has also been down the same road.

Good luck, and she'll be fine :)

Answer 6

Why Kids Suck

Answer 7

Sucking the thumb or tongue is not caused by psychological needs or problems. They are simply habits. If you watch children you will see that they are constantly picking up habits as they move through childhood. You'll see them picking their nose, squinting, grinning, sniffing, twisting their hair, chewing fingernails, pulling at their crotch or behind, sucking thumbs or fingers, etc. Parents are constantly having to correct yet another habit. You should have dealt with the issue long before now. I wonder why you picked the five years age as a cutoff point. By then the habit is rather deeply seated. I suspect she may be secretly sucking her tongue at times other than when she is sleeping.

Your daughter is old enough to break the habit herself. Talk to her about it and ask her what you and she can do, together, to help her stop the tongue sucking. Tell her she looks like she is sucking on a breast and it needs to stop.

I know a young lady who was sucking her forefinger and middle finger, together, when she was 21 years old. She got married and her new husband told her in no uncertain terms, "I did not marry a baby and I won't stay married to a finger sucker. Stop it or we're in trouble." She stopped.

Answer 8

the why could be many things, mostly psychological, oral fixations, feeling stress or insecurity. she may need more attention, reading with her for example, but on the physical side, put lemon juice under her nails. or vinager. it may seem cruel, but it will discourage the thumb sucking (which can cause dental deformaties, and lemon and vineger have no side effects, which can't be said for some medications that are meant to do the same thing.

Answer 9

Trying to make it stop will make it worse. To be honest, I am 34 and still play with my hair if I am stressed or really upset about something. My Grandma would slap my fingers. My daughter who is 5 months was playing with her hair the day she was born.

Answer 10

hello, I am 17 years of age, I also suck my tongue but it is only when am sleeping or alone that I do so but it is kind of embarrassing for me and I really want to stop it, I tried a lot of methods myself but its not working. sometimes I use super glue or tie my mouth with clothes but they are all not working. pls help me out.