My husband and I are trying to have a baby. We live on our own, and do not ask anyone for any kind of assistance. We have been together almost 7 years, married for 4 months now. My problem is, I have recently found out he does now want his mother to know we are trying. He lies to everyone who knows her when they ask when we are going to have a baby. I am so hurt by this. She and I have never gotten along, because she considered me trailer trash and to young. ( we are 3 years apart) I am afraid I may be over reacting to his not wanting to tell her, but I can't help it. He says he doesn't want to hear her complain about how we aren't ready when he doesn't care what she thinks. Am I over reacting, or does this seem like some kind of red flag? What would you do in this situation?
2007-10-24 21:11:42 · 7 answers · asked by Sammie Jo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I actually see this a diff way- like your husband. Because if you tell her, and she's hounding both of you, it won't help your situation. Where as you wait 3 months into the pregnancy to tell her, there's no going back from there, you are in the safe-zone with your pregnancy, and she'll have to take it as it is :) But look at it if you two get too stressed over her and her complaining that you shouldn't... you could miscarry.
Good luck!
2007-10-24 21:19:15 · answer #1 · answered by m930 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with hubby. I am also 3 years aprt from my husband and my mother-in-law and I do not get along...I swear she's crazy.
Anyway, this a personal decision between the two of you,not his mom, so if he doesn't want to tell his mom then don't do it. Why bother anyway...it's only trying. Your not pregnant yet. If you get pregnant then you will have plenty of time to share the joy. Many people don't tell friends or family until after the first 3 months when the risk of miscarriage has passed.
It sounds like he's looking out for the two of you. Sparing you both the heartache and arguments until you actually get pregnant and have to tell her. This is a special time that you and your hubby can share together. Just the two of you. Don't worry.
2007-10-25 04:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by surat108 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think I would tell anyone ( except maybe my very closest friend or sister) that I was "trying to have a baby" Thats pretty personal business. Be glad he isnt telling her. He is trying to keep her out of the loop ( where she belongs). Give him a big kiss ( and hopefully make a babe). good luck. :)
2007-10-25 11:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
REd Flag....
If he DIDN'T care... what she thinks..... then HE wouldn't care if she knew or not......
Mother in laws.. can be the end of a marriage real easy.... especially if HE DOESN'T sTep UP and tell her to butt out....
U should always come before her.. and if not then he is a mama's boy.. and u r in for a lot of disappointment..
think about it.. do u want to be 2nd in his life..?? do u want her to tell u how to raise ur baby? let go!!! if he want step up..
red flag!!
2007-10-25 05:33:50 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Blondie ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a guy, I'd say not to worry. Sometimes the moms are just nags. Why create problems and arguments? It doesn't mean he doesn't care or can't stand up to her -- I actually think he's being smart.
2007-10-25 06:23:12 · answer #5 · answered by Matt P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your husband. It is none of her business. He is trying to avoid problems with her. What he should do is tell her that he is an adult and she will respect the two of you or she cannot come around. It is good that he does not bend to her behavior. I would not be upset by this.
2007-10-25 05:15:49 · answer #6 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's a problem, let your husband handle her. Try to forget the past because when she sees the beautiful baby, she will melt!
2007-10-25 04:22:48 · answer #7 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋