My best friend is in labor, my husband doesnt want to come...?

Question

My husband insists he is supportive of me, and the things that are important to me. But he says its because its 11 at night, he doesn't want to come with me to the hospital. I think this is a pretty huge thing for me, I am about to be an Auntie. I will be sitting alone in the waiting room, I really wish he would come.

I didn't push him to come, or say anything about it after he said he didn't want to. I just figure isn't it a part of being supportive? I mean for example, I am expected to be there for his friends/family times. I guess I don't get it. Maybe to get different perspectives will help me understand.

I am the kind of person that if something is important to him, I will drop everything to show him I am there for him, keeping him company, by his side.

Answer 1

It would have been good for him to take care of you being it was late at night to go to the hospital. I hope you made it ok! It isn't a comforting thing to tell you, but some guys don't realize their part in a marriage. Women still marry for protection, even though we are in an "I love you" situation. I know you were not emphasizing this part, but it is important. Being a good partner is, as you said... keeping him company, by his side.

Answer 2

I'd give him a 'pass' on this one. It's late, labor is long. You're going to be the Auntie. It's not HIS best friend. Most of all, I'm pretty sure he has a job and should be going to it in the morning and needs a good night's sleep.
If he stays up all night waiting for tickets to an important sports event, I hope you bring a sleeping bag and a thermos of hot soup and sleep on the pavement in line with him all night so that he has company. That will teach him a lesson about being supportive.

Answer 3

Ok, look....waaay back in the day when a woman was in labor, all of the women in a "neighborhood" would gather together in a birthing house...no men. Labor and delivery has always been considered a woman's thing...always...

Now, we are lucky that many of our men are happy to participate in the births of their own children but...you would be HARD PRESSED to find a man who was tickled to participate emotionally or otherwise in the birth of someone else's child. It's just a chick thing, sorry!

That being said, he may feel that it is just too late at night and he is just too tired to feign enthusiasm for a crinkled little alien looking baby...and your best friend screaming through the pains of labor...it's tough on a guy...they feel uncomfortable, useless...

I am sure if you really thought about all of the guy things that your man participates in--or would like to participate in--you could come up with a handful of things that don't exactly rock your world and you would rather say "Oh, go on ahead honey--I'm just gonna stay home..."

Anyways, all I am saying is that this is a time that you and your best friend could be sharing, and I am sure if it really came down to it your best friend would prefer to have just you as much as your husband would prefer to just stay home.

And if nothing else, think of this as your get out of jail free card...next time you are asked to do something you really don't want to do...you can say "Remember the time...?"

Hope this gives some perspective, oh--CONGRATS!

Answer 4

I don't get it, is it your best friend so why are you saying your going to be a auntie is that something us Americans don't know about. I don't blame your husband it's your best friend not his and i think to ask your husband to sit in a hospital all night long for something he could care less about is asking a little to much. I don't even understand why you want to be there after all you can't see her and you won't until the next day after she has the baby. I bet he looked at you like you were crazy when you ask him I know my husband sure would.

Answer 5

Hell no you're no longer overreacting. that is his toddler too, in spite of what's happening between the two one in all you. A textual content message saying he hopes you sense greater suitable would not decrease it! He would desire to have been there with You. i could be devastated if i became taken care of that way, yet what's crucial now is looking after your self and your toddler. Do you have a chum, neighbour or relative which could help you out? If no longer, the well-being facility could be waiting to confess you or have a nurse come to help you out. surely, your husband appears like an fool. good intentions recommend no longer something if he would not save on with by means of. i'm so sorry you're dealing with this on your guy or woman, you deserve plenty greater suitable. I wish you all of the applicable, shield your self.

Answer 6

I don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to go to a waiting room at 11:00 pm and sit there for hours either (I was in labor 21 hours with my oldest child--that’s a LONG time to wait). If it’s important to you and you want to be there, go by yourself. Apparently, he’s not complaining about *you* going. He just doesn’t want to go (and I assume he probably has to work tomorrow too, so he needs some sleep). I’m sure he will go by the hospital to visit after the baby is born.

Answer 7

well i really don't know what re u fretting about. to me it seems u just don't want to sit in waiting room alone. that's your problem. why does he need to go just to keep u company? she is not his friend, he doesn't care whether she is dead or alive. why does he need to suffer? please leave a poor man alone and don't start argue over a stupedest thing on earth - your friend. either go alone or don't go, u will come both in the morning. she doesn't need your presence there anyway - now she is in laibour and after she will be sleeping. i am a mother of 3. last thing i would want to see when i am delivering a baby some unnecessary people. it is private time between her and her husband. your husband is completely and totally right he doesn't want to come

Answer 8

The father of her baby needs to be there, not you. Sorry, but wait to visit after the birth if you aren't comfortable going on your own. I didn't want anyone else around when I had my babies except their dad.
And as far as his family things, you should support the things you are comfortable with. It should not be a burden or a forced responsibility. He may not do what you do because he feels differently- not bad or negative, just different.

Answer 9

Lots of men get kind of squeemish around labor/delivery areas. I would dare say they avoid them at all costs. If he isnt the "babydaddy" then I doubt wild horses could drag him near the LDR floor. Give the guy a break on this one.

Answer 10

Its late at night, and she could possibly be in labor for hours. I wouldn't want to sit there either honestly. Why don't you both go in the morning and bring her breakfast or something.