i dont know, i thought i heard somewhere that if you wait to marry someone you're dating for longer than 4 years that its unlikely to succeed. and im kinda worried cause my bf wants to wait til we're maybe 5 or 6 yrs into our relationship before getting married...and i understand and think its a smart idea and dont wanna contribute to the divorce rate..but like i said, at the same time im just worried. am i right or just overreacting?
2007-10-24 18:33:13 · 14 answers · asked by jules 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we're both 21 and he wants to wait just so he knows for sure that he's doing the right thing i guess...he doesnt wanna "rush it," but rather take his time and get to know me better (we've already been together a year and living together most of that time btw)
2007-10-24 19:09:25 · update #1
and im not asking for someone to preach to me about living with him lmao im just gonna give u a thumbs-down..i think its a great idea actually and FYI he DOES wanna marry me, he just wants to wait and make sure its the right decision...
2007-10-25 04:17:44 · update #2
I don't think you should stick to a specific time frame before marriage. That said, I don't mean to say that its a wise decision to marry someone you've know for 2 weeks. What I believe is, you need to get to know someone inside and out. This does take years. In the beginning of relationships, everything is great and you get along well. After time, the true person begins to show. There will be many things you love about your partner, but what's even more important is that you know what you DON'T like. You have to ask yourself if you can live with those things. As for the 4 year statistic you've mentioned, I don't know why not being married within 4 years would ruin a relationship unless one person was really pushing for it, and the other was totally against it.
2007-10-24 18:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It take about two years to get to know someone that's why if your not married by then the changes are slim that you will ever get married. That's why a lot of marriages start to fall apart after the second year because there is no more surprises or excitement left but sense you are married you stay together and work it out. That's why that little piece of paper is so important because without it the guy could just walk away guilt free. I'm not making this up i read this in several books that's why i got married 20 months after meeting him and we been married 28 1/2 years now and are best friends and in love.
2007-10-24 18:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really depends on your age and the reason for waiting 4 years. With people "doing it" before marriage I can see why guys don't care if they get married right away or not. Heck some girls shack up and even take on the role of maid and cook. Why should the guy marry?
2007-10-24 18:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't be living with this guy. He doesn't want to get married. Why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free - yeah, that old cliche!
More importantly, it's just too easy not to get married. If he doesn't love you enough to want to marry you now, what makes you think he's going to love you more after years of living together, fighting over small and large things and getting bored and tempted by others?
Get out and date and live on your own or with roommates. Date this guy too and wait for him to want to marry YOU buy give yourself plenty of opportunity to meet and date other people.
2007-10-24 19:55:04 · answer #4 · answered by kathyw 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't know just wait it out girlie. But don't wait too long. I waited five years and decided I wasn't getting any younger. If he couldn't commit by then I was going to move on. I know you don't want to contribute to the divorce rate, but you can't be scared of things either.
2007-10-24 19:03:09 · answer #5 · answered by snowyniner 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both are only 21, so there's nothing to worry about. A marriage will work if you both work at it and both want it to work, no matter how long you've been the relationship for beforehand!
2007-10-24 20:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting married is a serious matter.. at your age it would be better if you develop yourself first.... try to enjoy things being single...then if you feel that both of you are ready for another chapter of youre life, then that's the time you enter marriage... as for the time enjoy the friendship between you and your boyfriend... successful marriage depends on both of you, no matter it's long or short engagement... lastly, always pray for guidance... God bless!
2007-10-24 19:58:49 · answer #7 · answered by elektra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not???
Indeed that should be correct way. We are going to share everything and spend the rest of our life to this person who will be OUR HALF.
High and low, sad and bad, celebrations, friends and children and everything.
Sincere, honesty, care, unlimited love and need to understand many more feelings towards each another.
Perhaps get to know each other and his/her family more detail will give you confidence and trust.
2007-10-24 18:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by Sha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depend on the couple, marriage is a big thing and you
should not go into it lightly, but if you are ready for marraige
then it for you rather is one or more year. every couple is
different. when the time is right for both party then it will work.
2007-10-24 18:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesnt matter how long you wait, that will not make a difference. It's the chemisty and makeup of the relationship that determines whether it will last or not.
2007-10-24 18:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋