My ex and I broke up when I was pregnant. He hadn't had a relationship with me or my son for about 6 years. This past year and a half, he has gotten to know my son and have a relationship with him. Last week he asked if I could spend the weekend with him and my son at his house. He lives 5 hours away. I don't think he has bad intentions. I think he has,"grown-up," and wants to be friends. My husband is furious, and told me if I go, he will lock me out of our house. I feel like I'm a grown woman and can make my own decisions. I wouldn't cheat on my husband, and would leave if my ex tried anything. I think he is just trying to be friends again. What should I do? I would really like to go, but I don't want any problems with my husband.
2007-10-24 18:21:44 · 15 answers · asked by steffi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK let look at it like this your husbands ex wife if he has one want him to come stay with her at her house for the weekend would you be ok with that. If i were your husband and you went you wouldn't get back in my home because i would have all the locks changed as soon as you walked out the door.
I don't understand you, i love my husband and i would never ever do something so selfish as this. Just by you thinking about it your husband is hurting and confused and he will lose a lot of respect for you over this.
2007-10-24 18:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
steffi you are headed for divorce if you spend the weekend with your baby daddy!! This man knows you are married an asks you to spend the weekend with him? Yes he has bad intentions!! Wake up before you lose your marriage!! You should know this guy he hasn't been in your life or your son's for 6 years you shouldn't even be talking to him!! Your husband raised your son? These 6 years? If so he is your son's DADDY! Just because your EX come's around all your life's have to change? Tell your EX no you can't spend the weekend with him but his son can!!! Stay home with your husband an have some alone time!! How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot an your husbands EX was asking to spend time with her an their son? Think about that!!! GOOD LUCK
2007-10-25 01:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by ajjsdj4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect of your husband you should not go. Your ex had his chance. Yes your son should be able to go and spend the week but NO you shouldn't go. Why would he even ask you if he knows your married? That's very inappropriate of him to even ask you to go. He's showing no respect for you or your relationship. If anything he should have spoken to your husband and invited him along as well.
You and your ex are not a family anymore, you have a husband who I don't blame for stating what you said he said.
If you do go, you will be risking losing your marriage and for what? An ex who left you while pregnant with his child? Even if he's grown up is he worth losing your marriage? That's good that he finally wants to spend time with his own child but that's not fair to the man who has stood by your side and helped you raise another persons son.
What do you want? A husband or an ex who left you in the past?
Think about it...
2007-10-25 01:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by TM25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me try and say this in a real way for you. The ex boyfriend should of asked both you and your husband to come over and spend the weekend at his house. It sounds like he is trying to cause some type of problem betwen you and your husband. I am very opened minded when it comes to allot of things but when it comes to letting my wife spend a weekend with her ex that is another question. If your husband has been there for you all this time you atleast owe him some type of respect for his feelings and concern. My wife said that she would not go not unless I was invited also but that is up to you and your husband.
2007-10-25 01:32:39 · answer #4 · answered by lonehermit2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are crossing boundries. If there is no strings attached then your husband should be invited as well. Not that he would want to be in that situation. You really cannot blame your husband for being upset that is a threat to him. Your ex should continue having a relationship with his son but you already picked your life up with another guy and he should be the only one that you spend the night with.
2007-10-25 01:29:17 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is the ex and getting to know his son, he may feel guilty about leaving and feel this is a way to be on good terms with you. Either way, your husband would be mad (think about, would you feel ok if your husbands ex-girlfriend asked him to spend a weekend with her?) The best thing to do is either let your son go to get to know his dad on a personal level, invite your ex out with your son and husband closer to home, or have you, your son, and your husband spend the weekend together.
2007-10-25 01:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by Britt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you would be foolish to risk your marriage over your ex. I don't understand why you think spending a weekend with him is a good idea. If you are afraid to leave your son alone with him unchaperoned, then he shouldn't spend the weekend there, either.
I really don't see why you'd want to do this. I can understand making your own decisions, but this is really a bad one. If I were your husband, I would be furious, too.
2007-10-25 01:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by Chris 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you, your son and your husband rent a hotel near your ex's house for the weekend. Then let your son visit with your ex. I wouldn't want my partner staying at the ex's house either. And I say to bring your hubby along, because he is part of this family too and he takes care of your son right along with you, don't exclude him now, and that way he can see for himself, there is nothing between you and your ex. That is just about your son.
2007-10-25 01:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cant be serious? You dont see the problem that your husbands having with you going to spend a weekend with another man, much less the man you made a baby with. Wow. Please dont do it. honor your husband. If the tables were turned would you want your husband to spend a weekend with someother woman?
2007-10-25 01:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by that hot chick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You definitely don't need to go spend the weekend with him, unless you have hubby in tow. Send the child for the weekend, spend some alone time with hubby.
2007-10-25 01:30:02 · answer #10 · answered by Shubunkin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋