So, me and my finace have been together for a while now and he was gone for 6 months for deployment [military] and well before he left i didnt care if he went out with his friends or did anything..and then its like...he comes back and im soo like selfish and i want him to myself and like im soo clingy to him and like if he wants to go out with his friends it makes me sad and like i cant trust him, but he has never done anything to make me not trust him...but he talks to his ex girlfriends which i HATE but he has been friends with him for a long time..but thats a whole different story..but anyways, its like when his phone rings i even like get this weird feeling like its someone or like he may be cheating on me...and when he dont call me or talk to me its the same way..and i dont understand why i am like this...im trying so hard...and its like i keep feeling like he is going to cheat on me or he is not happy, but he works nights so he isnt here much and we dont spend enough time
2007-10-24 17:44:40 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
together...so its like i get upset or think he is mad at me or something so its very confusing..and like people keep saying that its a tough thing to get married..and blah blah and that were too young, and that we should live together for a while before..but i mean we do live together at my parents house until he gets approved to move off base...like whats wrong with me and why am i so controlling or why am is soo weird about things...please help me..cuz i constantly think he doesnt want to be with me and then he really hates having to tell me constantly that he wants to be with me and all that and loves me and were still getting married..im jsut soo confused. cuz he has made comments before about being single and he is gunna miss that, and like that he dont get time with his friends, but whenever we are with his friends they say they cant see him getting married..but thats only 1 of his friends..i have postponed planning the wedding becase im soo scared or rejection..
2007-10-24 17:45:00 · update #1
Oh my gosh its like your in a like totally wrong catagory and like you should of found another catagory. This is like marriage and divorce and like what does your question like have to do with marriage and divorce.
2007-10-24 17:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Judi W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like an insecure young girl. You are getting married soon, and you have never found out who you are yet.
It's your life, but sooner or later, you are going to have to learn to be confident in yourself. I hope that you can.
If you are having second thoughts on the marriage, then go ahead and delay it. I know that my daughter did the same thing until she and her boy friend went to counciling at the church. The boy said all the right things, and said that he would change, and made some promises. Once they got married, things didn't change with him or his family, but we pretty much told her that it would be like that.
It was nothing really abusive, or illegal, just some minor things that could have had an affect on their marriage. They are still together though.
2007-10-24 21:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Fordman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be in your teens you sure sound like it,hon it's your age believe it or not we all go through what your going through. Sounds like you love him more then he loves you and you are picking up on it. When you are in a relationship there are stages you go through. Have you ever notice how at times you love him more then he loves you then it turns around and he loves you more why can't you both love each other the same wouldn't that make things a lot easier. I think you know if you keep getting in his face you will push him in the arms of someone else so try and ease up a little.
2007-10-24 18:17:37 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, did you cheat while he was away? All of this paranoia sounds like someone who cheated and has a guilty conscience.
Maybe your fear of losing him while he was away is still here. When those negative paranoid thoughts come into your mind, remind yourself that they are just your insecurities. Focus on what he does love about you. What are the qualities he really enjoys and bring those out more. Focus on the positive.
If it helps, the way he talks sounds like he's devoted to you. Guys don't joke about not being single anymore unless it really is a joke.
2007-10-24 18:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you engaged? If so, you need to talk together and set up comfortable boundaries that are acceptable to both of you. Such as, we don't go to lunch or dinner with the opposite sex without both of us being there.
Marriage means "forsaking all others" and the ex-girlfriends have to go unless he has a child with one of them - then contact should be limited to visitation and other issues, all for the child like school, medical, etc. I would make sure he's going to forsake them before I went any further with him.
2007-10-24 18:06:12 · answer #5 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you like really need to grow up before you like say "I DO"
you'll definitely drive him away by acting like that, "too clingy" will make that man run fast and run hard in the other direction.
anyways can you say INSECURE? that should be your middle name. let the man breathe or you will lose him forever.
herre's a thought while he's out doing his thing with friends...make some of your own or call the ones you have and do something with them. you'll feel alot better about yourself.
2007-10-24 18:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by dixie_n_pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is the war...........the absence has messed you up...........you seem to be worried about him more than you should..................it is like PTSD...............see a doc.this isn't healthy
2007-10-24 17:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by richard t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋