I had to make new friends last year after I lost all my old ones. Yet feel like all my new "friends" hate me. I come over to say hi after a while of not talking to a few, and they have this look on their face like I was not wanted. I then kind of dismissed myself and felt embarassed and rejected. This happens a lot with different people. Maybe I try too hard to be assertive and am actually rude and obnoxious. I feel really bad, and don't know what to do. How can I be a more likable, better friend. I want to be liked and I want to be a person that makes others feel good about themselves. How can i do this?
2007-10-24 17:40:06 · 15 answers · asked by meloncholy canteloupe 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maybe people can sense my desperation and/or the happy facade I have to put on sometimes. IDK
2007-10-24 17:42:06 · update #1
Yes, people can sense it if you really are forcing yourself...
try being a good listener, but you might consider talking to someone if you feel like you need some help on the balancing of assertiveness and "rude and obnoxious" part of you is getting in your way in making lasting friendships ...Sometimes being depressed can give you these types of feelings and that needs to be addressed by a professional counselor to head you in a positive direction ...you said you 'lost' all your old Friends... did you have to move and starting over with making new friends is what you had to do? Making friends is hard, but not impossible, remember the 'Golden Rule'
2007-10-24 18:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by Cautious Lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not hanging with the right people. These people sound like snobs and not willing to be accepting of others. Sometimes, I mean I've met some people where like they have irritating habits or strong body odor. But, other than that - I like everybody and most of my friends are much more accepting of irritable habits and body odor than I am. Instead of focusing on your issues why not try volunteering to help out people with disabilities to help group home kids do activities and stuff? You need more than one group of people to really learn what acceptance means and understand who you are and where you fit in. Other groups to try are like activity groups and clubs through school or the park district. Getting involved in sports and other hobbies - those are great ways to connect with other people. Even trying out different church groups can be helpful. Volunteer to tutor kids or help out at a homeless shelter. Expand your horizons, these groups of friends are making your worldview way to narrow. Don't define yourself by such a small number of people to socialize with when there are a gazillion people in the world! There's nothing wrong with you I'm sure. Just relax and expand your friendship horizons - ditch the ones where you get rejected and move on.
2007-10-24 17:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can sense if you're sincere or not. They can also feel your desperation. If you want to have friends, you must be sincere. You have to first start off by liking yourself. You can't like others or make others like you if you don't like yourself. Why do you try to be assertive? What do you need to be assertive for? Is that just how you are? You have to always be yourself. Don't ever give false pretenses. People don't like phonies. Remember, if someone can't like you for who you are, then they aren't a true friend. You don't need false friends. Relax and just be yourself. You'll make friends. Stop worrying so much.
2007-10-24 17:47:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, heavily, I actual have met people like that till now and that they are only idiots. there's no place for a guy or a woman, each and every physique has a distinctive calling. while will those idiots study that. And strangely, that is not only adult males putting women folk in that place, yet women folk doing that to themselves, too. that is retarded. each and every physique is many times too insecure to alter something that has been around for hundreds of years, like the patriarchal society. Like in extreme college, each and every physique only needs to circulate alongside with each and every physique else. stupid, i comprehend. Thank God cases are changing.
2016-10-04 13:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey!! don't worry about what other people think!! just be yourself and if people don't like you for the way you are then they can just deal with it!! God made you in such an awesome way and there are plenty of people who I'm sure would love to be your friend!! If your 'friends' don't like you then hang out with a new group of people!! hey you might even find your new best friend there!!
2007-10-24 17:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by Addi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make friends with people who will be totally honest with you and coach you when you need it.
This is anyone over 75 years old. Seek them out; they are experts on getting along with people and have nothing to lose so they'll be totally honest with you. Cultivate a few older friends, and in no time you'll breathe easier with your younger ones.
2007-10-24 17:43:25 · answer #6 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be yourself, a natural..be a good listener, always ask how others are doing etc. (make people feel important, but don't be too overbearing like a used-car salesman). you can also find something in your town you are interested in (like bowling or hunting or church..etc) and find people who have like-minded interests, that will really help find good friends who you have something in common with :) good luck, dont sweat the small stuff :)
2007-10-24 17:45:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be too nice but this does not mean ruling outt he option to be nice, be honest, a little fun, and dont insult people unless you know them real well and only insult them as a joke(make sure that they know that too) at the same time dont be a whipping post and make friends wih people who only wish you well
2007-10-24 17:48:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try making yourself feel more secure, Please don't care what others think; it sounds like your still in high-school. Keep positive and just be yourself. People will like you for who you are, but in high-school guys are really in-mature and don't know wtf they are talking about... Seriously just try to make yourself feel happy and try not to worry to much about this. But ya will ^_^ anyhoo gl and if they don't like you, then that's their problem, get to know their gfs LOL make'm feel the pain of being an asswhole xD
2007-10-24 18:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by Aubrey C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that you are trying to hard...
It could be that you don't click with these people and need to find a group of friends that you have more in common with....
It could be that you are pushing these people away....
2007-10-24 17:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by Athena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋