i know many women say, i'd rather they be at home and look at porn than be out screwing around. and i agree with that philosophy but every time i catch he's been doing it, it hurts me. and he knows that, we have talked about it, but he does it anyways. and i've heard, 'well you have to be kinky in the bedroom to keep his attention'. well i used to be when he paid any mind to me at all. now he just takes care of himself and doesn't want to take any effort to have a joint experience. and i'm so pissed with the situation, i don't want to make any effort either so we just don't do it. what do i do? talking does not good in 5 years hasn't change anything.
2007-10-24 16:27:00 · 14 answers · asked by handygirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If in five years it hasn't changed anything, then what do you expect from him? You just mentioned the sex part, but if he's behaving like that in all the aspects, then I think you're wasting your time. Unless he's doing it at every hour, all the time, you shouldn't be worried or angry because he watches porn, I think the issue here is if he's really into the relationship or not.
2007-10-24 16:41:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's nothing you have done or nothing you can do !! It's the person thats doing it, they like it or what ever !! They most likely will not stop it and if they say they will , they will Do it behind your back, they will hide it from you !! so you want know it !! and you will end up catching them or finding out about it one day and get mad again !! So if you love him and he loves you, you have to decide if you can except it or not ? It depends on how he treats you too, like does he still want you or not? Mine has always done it and if i fussed he would still do it behind my back, so i'd rather he do it and not hide it from me if he is going to do it !! but he stills wants me so it doesn't affect him that way !! he doesn't ignore me for that ! So there is a difference on how they act toward you ! If he doens't want you then something is wrong with that !! Also, being kinky or what ever has nothing to do with him watching porn either, like i said you can do all that and more and they will still watch that stuff No Matter what ! We could have sex one night and the next morning He would Still go online and watch Porn !! So giving him sex more doesn't stop him from watching Porn !!! I have learned this through 13 yrs of marraige !!! So you have to decide what you can and cannot take !! Mine knows i don't like for him to do that too but still does it anyway !! I think they get hooked on it !! But as long as he doesn't change his feelings towards me and is good to me then i stay with him !! and I now know he does it and not behind my back !! good luck to ya!
2007-10-24 17:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
porn is naughty and dirty, and thats why men like to look at it. if you are having problems outside of the bedroom then you will have them in the bedroom as well. i would focus on the outside, and the inside will come back (and actually be fun!) i would also like to add, that the more you ask him not too, the more he going to want too. its like the forbidden fruit. good luck :)
oh and by the way, im usually the one showing him the porn lol. and yes, i do agree that he will do it no matter how much sex you are having.
2007-10-24 16:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by ★SuGar and SpiCe★ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is one thing if he was just looking at it every once in awhile and pleasuring himself but it sound to me that your husband is addicted to it so bad that he prefers it over the real thing. It is really sad and he is being selfish. The only thing you can do is suggest he get counceling and see why he has shut out the intimacy. It is a sad situation and it really isn't fair to you. Good luck
2007-10-24 16:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by Judi W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hun..things wont change here. Men want you to accept that watching porn is normal for a man.
On the contrary its very disrespectful to the women you are living with.
Confront him with the issue and try and see a therapist. Drag him to see one.
Mine did the same thing for five years and no matter what i tried.......the marriage ended in a divorce.
You have to talk to him about it and let him know that you are hurt by this behavior and its very disrespectful to you.
Best option - see a therapist / marriage counsellor. It will really help.
2007-10-24 16:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by Romi 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, masturbation is healthy even in marriage and other sexual relationships. There's nothing wrong with it. Chances are he never completely stopped masturbating even when you guys were having sex all the time. Talk to him about how your needs are not being met. He might not know how much you actually enjoy sex. If that doesn't work, well he's a bum.
As for what I do? Well, my partner and I have a code for 'special alone time', so we know not to walk in on each other. It doesn't bother me very much that he looks at porn. I don't enjoy porn with him because it usually just makes me laugh. It's so cheesy!!
2007-10-24 16:32:38 · answer #6 · answered by some female 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Pornography is an addiction. Just like smoking,drugs,food, etc. Once you're exposed to it, you have to have it. It also becomes the only thing that can arouse you. He really needs to seek counseling to overcome the addiction. I'd have the internet turned off, or filter it so no porn can be viewed. If he has magazines, throw them away when you find them. Tell him that it is no longer welcome in your home. Do you have children? Is so, you don't want them exposed to this, do you? Just take the proper steps to help him clean up his act. Good luck.
2007-10-24 16:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by char the brat 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i dont understand the problem with it! my wife comes down on me harder than my parents used to for making bad grades in school.
i think guys will take care of themselves with or without it. its just faster and more convenient with it. just dont act too much like a berating parent.
2007-10-24 19:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine does it too. I've been with him for eight years. I noticed when I stopped acting like I cared about it so much and actually got used to it, he wanted more of ME, but he's sex crazy anyways. It's such a turn off. I'm not even sure I wanna be with him any more. I even told him that him watching those were such a turn off for women, like drowling desperate puppies they are.
2007-10-24 16:36:10 · answer #9 · answered by Sky 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you are having problems in the bedroom........it means something is not right outside of the bedroom.
communication is the answer.
2007-10-24 16:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋