Do you think that bad things that happen to you when you are a child?

Question

over-shadow your adult life..!!?!?

..........(((QUEEN))),,,,,,,,,,

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Answer 1

To some degree, but maybe in a more positive ways.
I had crappy parents so I learned how not to become a crappy parent.
I learned that alcholosm runs in the family, so not to go down that road.
I also don't put up with a lot of crap or lip service...I am sure thats something directly from my childhood.

Edit:

(((Kerilyn VT)))
Tash needs a big thumbs up and I can not give her one! :(
We are so very alike on this one!!

Answer 2

People say that using your childhood as an excuse for your life is not taking the blame for your actions, but I beg to differ. When you are a child you are the most vulnerable you will EVER be, and situations shape who you will become. I still remember things that happened to me when I was a VERY young child, and they aren't happy things. Proof that, trauma stays with you. It is also human nature to seek out the same negative patterns in your relationships with others (i.e. your dad beat you so you seek people to continue the punishment). Your brain is wired this way and emotions become addictions. I recommend watching "What the Bleep Do We Know" on DVD. Fascinating and insightful documentary into human behavior.

For example, my father was never in the picture, so in my teens I was attracted to much older men to fill the role but never acted on it. Then later on it seems perfectly good relationships (including my tragic first love) deteriorated and I would always wind up feeling rejected for no good reason, left desperately seeking their approval even though I was much better than them...just like was done to me by my father. Maybe I sought out these destructive patterns subconsciously because of my "programming".

Answer 3

Such an interesting question. I have seen that to be true that the bad does affect you later in life. I had a mother that never did anything for me or my kids. It was always like I was her mother. We were poor and she was very well off. She would take cruises and brag about all the new things she bought to us knowing were barely putting food on the table. It didn't bother me too much because I never liked to take charity. But I noticed when I became a grandmother, I constantly wanted to help my grown children and buy my grandbabies things. It just seems like a natural grandmotherly way to think and I would think, "How could she have been so selfish and heartless toward her own little granddaughters?". Yes, it bothers me that she never even thought to buy us some groceries or her own granddaughters a dress or a toy and that when I confronted her about that recently, all she did was feel sorry for herself because she was being criticized. I could have stayed bitter towards her. But the Lord commands us to forgive. So I forgave her. That's the secret to getting over the bad in your life. God bless.

(((Kerilyn))))
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Answer 4

Very much so. Certain things take me right back to my childhood, and this can be very unpleasant.
It took me quite a while after I left home to adjust to normality. It was several months before I could go to the cupboard or fridge to get food, without feeling guilty and thinking I should ask permission from someone first.
Sometimes songs which I heard a lot as a child depress me if I hear them now.
I find myself constantly checking my behavior, afraid that I am behaving like my parents did.
I guess it's made me stronger, and if it wasn't for certain bad events of my childhood, my life would have taken a very different path and I might not have met my soul mate. So it turned out OK after all :)

(((((Kerilyn)))))

Awww..... ((((((((((Queen of Yack)))))))))) you're a honey!!!!

Answer 5

I always say adulthood is getting over your childhood. I know that there are things I do in my life today and in my relationships since I was a child directly caused by incidents that occurred when I was 7. I am finally seeing how twisted I got from those incidents actually. I have been trying for years to correct some basic beliefs that I learned that were wrong and still I work on it. So, yes, I do.

Answer 6

I never had anything really bad happen (almost once), but I was raised in a home with an alcoholic father who was verbally and physically abusive to my mother (the physical abuse stopped before I was old enough to remember). My oldest brother grew up to be an alcoholic and always said it was because he grew up with an alcoholic, however there were three other children and none of us are alcoholics. I think sometimes people use things that happened to them when they were young as crutches. However, some really horrible things have happened to people when they were young and you can't help but believe that it totally overwhelmed their lives, especially if they did not get any help.

Answer 7

I keep telling myself "hey that was then you are grown now, get over it already"
lots of things that happen then actually form your personality and causes you to become who you are.
I have decided that you can let it kill you or you in a sense kill it by being strong enough to overcome those issues.
That's why Im a winner!!

Answer 8

Not if you deal with it. I was violently sexually abused as a child..I got lots of counseling, and my Parents do not have a part in my life anymore...Partially because they are Jehovah's Witnesses, and partly because I Wouldn't have anything to do with them anyway.

If you do the work, and it is very hard, but worth it, By the Grace of God, you can heal. My life is wonderful now.

Answer 9

I let that happen for much of my young adutlhood. I was still allowing myself to be victimized, but I did not have the wisdom to break away from the past. I am no longer a victim, and I feel that as painful as it was I am stronger today for having overcome the past.

Answer 10

Yes it can have detrimental effects. The first three years of a child's life can forever be changed when the child is severely abused and unloved.