We have been married a little over 3 years. My husband is 29 and sometimes acts like a 5 year old because he likes to play. He plays too much in my opinion. He likes to grope my breasts and my butt - over and over. I try to remain calm and let him do his thing, but it seems as if he always does this at the wrong time (i.e. when I'm fixing dinner or on the computer).
He'll come up behind me and I'll stand there for a minute or so, and then I'll try to walk away and he follows me wherever I go and tries to block me. Whenever my mind is occupied with something he is sure to do something. I feel horrible for saying this about him, but sometimes I'm just not in the mood for all that horseplay. We don't have any kids but I feel like I have a toddler that I have to play with on a daily basis. He requires so much attention and I don't know that I can give it to him like he needs it. Sometimes he'll hide in the house to scare me. That's fine, but it's when I start looking for him and ...
2007-10-24 16:21:10 · 15 answers · asked by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's hiding for 15 or 20 minutes before he decides to come out. He did this one time when we were going out to dinner. Also, he has a habit of always wanting to show me something on the computer or on TV. No matter what it is he wants me to see it. If we're driving on the highway he wants to narrate about this and that ... "This is where we used to do ___".
Sometimes I feel so rude because I'll either squirm my way out of his way or I'll tell him to stop. He'll get upset and it's almost like it hurts his feelings. Hugging up is okay sometimes, but he doesn't seem to know when enough is enough. Also, he's the type of person that gets upset if you aren't interested in what he's interested in.
I am 30 and I admit that I tend to be on the more serious side. I am very determined and focused. While my husband is non-chalant I am very anxious. I worry about bills and he worries about what we're having for dinner. I think I am more stressed than he is so there's no time for play.
2007-10-24 16:26:25 · update #1
Let me add that he has cheated on me before and it was NOT a result of something I wasn't doing. Also, he did not inform me that he had a porn addiction prior to us getting married, and as a result it seems as if everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie. He's gotten better now, but we had a rough time for about 2 years straight.
2007-10-24 16:30:30 · update #2
My husband still gropes me like that and we have been married for 25 years. Grabbing my boobs, my butt, putting his hand down my pants - it's soooooo juvenile. Something he still does to this day is when we are ready to walk out the door, he wants to make out. I hate spending an hour taking a bath, putting on makeup, fixing my hair, wearing something I just got from the cleaners and then he wants to act like some teenager, feeling me up, smearing my lipstick all over my face and making me feel like a mess.
After all these years of this nonsense, I'm never in the mood for it, because I'm tired of it. Sometimes I will just stand there waiting for what I know is going to come and he gets ticked because I guess I have taken all the fun (his) out of it.
2007-10-24 16:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good question......I feel like I'm reading my own life story here! I've been with the same man for 8&1/2 years.......We recently married.......but he's the exact same way! It may sound cruel but I give ultimatims..........If I have no alone time.....HE GETS NO PLAYTIME! I honestly would get angry at times for him being so playful and forward that I'd have to leave just to get any peace.......I am so in love with him and would never intentionally say anything to hurt him, but sometimes enough is enough and you have to speak up! Hope all turns out fine!
2007-10-24 23:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by shelly_mo67 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is a Sagittarius and you are not! Enjoy this affection and attention, I am in love now with a man who s not very affectionate, but who loves and honors me, and I am grateful. He is 51 and I am 46. I miss the younger boyfriends I dated in my 30's but they never respected me and cared for me as much as he does. Try to explain nicely how you feel and come up with some acceptable playing times and games you can both agree on. Ask him to respect your attention to the serious things and try to be more accepting of his fun loving personality
2007-10-24 23:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by kittykris2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, your husband is playful and he shows his affections in a physical way. Really, all you need to do is tell him that it bothers you and if he loves you, he'll continue to do it (because that's who he is), but he'll do it less and be a little more considerate of your feelings. Just let him know how much it bothers you. Chances are if you've never talked to him about it, he doesn't know. Acting annoyed when he does it isn't going to give him the clue because he's too busy having fun. Just sit down and talk about it.
2007-10-24 23:27:19 · answer #4 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My man is this way too. I have a tendency to yell "NOT WHILE I'M DOING STUFF!" and he knows to back off.
I find using "code words" in our relationship works well. After long drawn out communication sessions, we often come to some sort of a compromise. In order to refer back to this compromise in the heat of the moment, we use our code words (more like code phrases). "not while I'm doing stuff" "I need space" "give me a hug" etc
A good fierce punch in the chest works well too.... (we have a tendency to be more rough housy than most couples though, so I know punching isn't for everyone)
2007-10-25 00:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by rorybuns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you woman are something, if we lack you attention you complain and want to have an affair and now here is a guy who loves you more than life its self and groups you and wants to hide and scare you in a fun way.. you complain... I admit that some of his timing is off but I trully think if you talk to him on a serious note he will not do it at in appropriat times.... You know you guys are acctually still on your honey moon.. Good luck and I wish you well.. Grant M in Pennsylvania
2007-10-24 23:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Judi W. but I think you should also let him know that there is a time and place for everything and "right now" while cooking dinner, etc. isn't it. Otherwise he is vying for your attention. You need to give him his 30 seconds and go back to what you were doing....
2007-10-24 23:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kiki B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
haha, welcome to the world of how guys act. All guys act this way. Its actually their way of showing affection. Different from ours yes, but still he means well. I would recomend simply talking to him and gently telling him that when your busy doing other stuff it distracts you and you would appreciate him waiting until you have time to spend with just the two of you. You have to tell him nicely or he will take offense and not want to do anything for you or show affection. Guys are like kids with simple mentalities. We have comprimise, its our job.
2007-10-24 23:30:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he was to quit that all together you would be wondering what is wrong with you and how come he is not affectionate. I wish my husband did more of that to me. He loves you so much that he cannot keep his hands off of you. I know it has to be a pain I would tell him that you need to have a few minutes by yourself and after you are done you will give him the attention he wants.
2007-10-24 23:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Judi W 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i think its cute some women men won't even pay them any mind and you have someone who loves your body and likes playing silly games with you its cute and your still in the newlywed stage. just tell him to bring it down a notch if your doing something tell him to cool it until your done.
2007-10-24 23:30:21 · answer #10 · answered by cutie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋