My husband is very easy to talk to he has always been able to talk to women. Now he has a work friend who he talks to a lot. He assures me there is nothing (he's a great husband) but she texts him a lot. I am so sensitive about it. Males can have female friends and it not be nothing more can't they? Or should i be worried?
2007-10-24 16:19:03 · 20 answers · asked by girly girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do not listen to the first guys answer here, it's a ridiculous assumption just because he is that way and a player doesn't mean your man is. I think a lot of husbands have female friends outside their marriage and wives have male friends, and that does not make them cheaters, personally I have no problem at all with my wife (when I was married) having male friends, but that's only to a certain point though, if she had male friends at say....work, church etc....talked to them at those places, would not bother me nor make me jealous in any way, now if one began calling her, texting her then I myself would become a little suspicious, but that's just me. I had several female friends, co-workers and such before I got married that carried over to my marriage, but once I was married I kept my conversations down to a minimum....you know just work or if I saw them out at wal-mart etc....I didn't call them because I did not want to raise suspicions with my wife and make her uncomfortable as it would have me if she did those things.....
Anyways, as for being worried, in your situation I think I would talk to him about it, tell him you do trust him, but her texting him and such is making you feel uncomfortable and insecure in the marriage....if he respects you then he should most likely put a stop to it, if not.....then you may become aware of something else going on.....just keep an open mind, yet being that you are married you should probably give him the benefit of the doubt that nothing is going on until something else comes out....if it does that is.
Hope this can help you out in some way, this is coming from my own personal experience with this same matter.
CT
p.s---The one that gave the answer(Jelisa I believe) saying that if a man says they have female friends is only because they are sleeping with them or want to sleep with them is totally wrong, NOT all men are like that, she must have had bad experiences with stuff like this in the past and now is a man hater.....There are a lot of men out here that are 100% loyal to their wives and have female friends....
Sorry to have to edit this, but after reading what she wrote, I just had to add this.
2007-10-24 16:36:39 · answer #1 · answered by CuriousTiger77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've just been through it and still going through it. My story: I never had an issue with my husband having female friends. I trusted him full heartedly and wasn't jealous at all. However, our love life dried up and he felt so unhappy that one day, one of his female friends made an advance and he fell for it. Now that I've caught him, I'm very uncomfortable with him having female friends because it opens the door to temptation and gives him an easy way to cheat. He wasn't looking to have an affair with his female friend (your husband probably doesn't either), they were just friends but when our marriage was on the rocks, that friendship made it all too easy to have an affair. Sure they can have affairs with strangers but that's just a one night stand. The worst part of cheating with a friend is its not only a physical affair but an emotional one too. My advice, allow the friendships as long as your marriage is strong but if you get into trouble (like most married folks do) cut those female friends out. Don't allow your husband to be in a vulnerable position.
2016-04-10 03:47:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the man. I have loads of male friends, and they have never and will never be anything more than that. But I have also had male friends that it turned into something more. If it makes you so uneasy then I would suggest setting some boundaries. Tell him that you are feeling uncomfortable with the friendship he is developing with the co-worker. Let him know he has done nothing wrong, just that you are in a bad spot. Set whatever boundaries you feel comfortable with. Say, no texts from her on the weekends and Tuesdays and Thursdays. Make those times to connect with your husband. I would also try to become friends with this woman. A lot of women are not comfortable with hitting on a man when they are friends with his wife. Just try to think of various thing that protect your relationship with your husband without making him stop contact. And remember that it is ok for him to have female friends as long as you are still his best friends.
2007-10-24 16:41:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kima 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 female friends from back when and my wifes best friend is also a good friend. Her friend and I have been in touch since - 16 yrs - does it mean anything - no
2007-10-24 18:07:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mephisto 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you ask him to tell you all about her ? Show him you're not jealous but just interested in knowing more about this person. See how he reacts and if nothing is going on between them, he will freely tell you all about her. If you get a different reaction from him, then you may have something to worry about.
That would be the time for you to ask him for the truth about what is going on.
2007-10-24 17:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by daisyfay 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Losing/gaining Facebook friends?
2016-07-07 09:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your eye on it. I don't care what anyone else tells you. The ones at work that start texting frequently are a problem in my opinion. They see each other all day at work! Why the need for further conversation. This is how my husband started his affair. She was "just a friend" at work. Then the texts and e-mails started. Then I got a call from her significant other that he found them in bed. Quite a "friend" she is huh?
2007-10-24 21:56:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself two questions...
Am I one of those crazy women who make problems out of nothing? Do I have a history of thinking the worse of everyone and everything?
Now go establish some facts before you let the accusations fly.
Good luck.
2007-10-24 16:27:48 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men and women can be friends. However secret friends are ALWAYS bad. As long as he is up front and not hiding anything then I don't see a problem.
2007-10-24 16:24:05 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
as long as he is open about it and he dont even care if you read the texts i dont think you have much to worry about at all, i am a man and i am married, i have more female freinds than men in fact i would rather have women freinds as i have found women to be more honost, and this will make you laugh, dont gossip half as much as men, not to mention all the macho crap and filthy talk about there wives and girlfreinds. My wife dosnt mind as long as i am honost with her and believe me she lets me know if she thinks some woman is hitting on me as sometimes i fail to see it, but i listen to my wife and act accordingly as to not hurt her feelings, we can all have freinds of the opposite sex and it does not have to be sexuall at all, in fact i think it is very healthy not to mention women have more to offer than jus t sex. and are worthy freinds.
2007-10-25 01:12:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋