Ok, my mom and i talk about sex quite a lot, and i understand the 'facts', but everytime i ask her why sex is such a big deal, i think that she gets mad...what is the big deal about it? loads of people have sex every day. Just b/c i have sex, does not mean that i am going to get pregnant or an std, b/c she has told me LOADS of times how to be safe, and i know where the condoms are..i mean, i am not just gonna run out there and sleep with the first person i see, i just REALLY want to know WHY it is such a big deal, and WHY moms always fly threw the roof if they think that u are having sex...WHAT is the big deal???
2007-10-24 15:50:07 · 28 answers · asked by Sicily 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
the big deal is that your mom is worried about you. she worries because she cares, and doesnt want to see you get hurt, by accidentally getting pregnant (not all condoms work and some guys "Dont like to use them") and std's are everywhere, even if you dont just jump in bed with the first person you see. i'm sure your mom has preached about how to be safe, and if you're gonna do it, she can't stop you but take it from me, it feels a whole lot better when you are older, in a stable situation in life with a loving and caring man who you know is faithful.
why am i telling you this? because when i was 15 i thought that just because i was with a great guy, that we were going to be together forever, so we decided it was ok for him to not wear condoms.....and we swore that i wouldn't get pregnant.
guess what, i got pregnant, AT 15, and he was cheating the entire time! i was very lucky i didn't wind up with a disease. taking on something as "responsible" as sex is, is a HUGE deal. there are a lot of risks that come with it, and attatchment. sometimes us females (even us older ones) get confused and think that if we're having sex it must mean they love us, because emotions do funny things. especially to teenage hormonal girls
now i am by no means saying you're as nieve or as stupid as i was but i give your mom kudo's for freaking out and telling you to be smart, and you kudo's for wanting to know why it is a big deal.
unfortunately, thi
s world has double standards as well. it appears that it is ok for men to go out and have sex whenever they choose with whom ever, but girls cant...that isn't true, but do you really want those rumors or name callings tagging after you for your highschool and possible college years? Rumors start fast, even if it is only one time...(trust me no guy really wants to settle down with a woman who has had 15 plus sex partners, it makes you sound bad, and makes guys think second about even dating you)
i think it would be in your best interest to wait, because if you do you will learn to appreciate yourself, and your furture partner a lot more.
2007-10-24 16:04:34 · answer #1 · answered by juli p 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The problem is: You don't realize that regardless if you use a condom or not, there is still the small chance that you can still get pregnant. You can get an STD or an STI, if you're not careful. You can never be sure if your partner has an STD, if they don't get tested.
I think the reason why she gets upset, is because you're treating your virginity (or lack thereof) like it's nothing. Back in her day it was a huge deal. But it upsets her to see that her daughter has become the victim of today's media and peer pressure. When you have sex, it is a very personal and emotional experience. If you have sex with someone, regardless if you love them or not, they 'own' a piece of you per se. An emotional part of you. It's strange to look at how you look at sex. You look at it as something recreational, something to do for fun. Back in your mom's day, it was a way to show someone that you loved them, and it came after marriage. But you don't call it "making love", you just call it sex. That's all it is. That's all it ever is to anyone these days, and it used to be so much more. Plus sex doesn't mean anything to guys, and she doesn't want you to get hurt. Your mom is probably also worried about your reputation. She doesn't want people to think that you're a whore. And that's what you have to realize. Your mother loves you and she just wants you to realize the gravity of the situation and the emotional responsibility that comes with having sex.
I hope that this sheds light on a new perspective for you.
The best of luck to you!
2007-10-24 16:06:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, I am glad that you are able to speak to your mom about this subject. The big deal is 2 people should really care about each other before having sex. If not 1 will get hurt. Age is an important factor as well. Most importantly condom do not stop you from getting pregant not the pill. Std can be given to you by the least person u suspect. My 20yr old daughter made me a grandmother on Halloween last year. She was on the pill. Believe your mom over your friend.. Promise.
2007-10-24 15:59:18 · answer #3 · answered by samantha h 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a mom with a 22 year old daughter (so I went through it too) and a 17 year old son. Having sex is a pretty big deal. Just be as safe and responsible as you say you are and it will turn out okay. Your mom may think that it is a big deal because it means that her baby is growing up. Face it, after sex, there isn't much more to go by way of growing up. It may also be that she had a bad experience when she was young. Consider your mom's feelings and stay safe and it will work out. Take care.
2007-10-24 15:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by tannaid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a mom; she's payed to be worried :D. On a more serious note, sex can be harmful even when you DO use protection.... As the old saying goes, "You can never get safer than not doing it in the first place." With all that said, it's really up to you whether you'd like to have sex or not (I'm guessing you're atleast 17.) Everything should be taken in moderation, but then again it doesn't hurt to experiment.
The last thing anyone wants is for you to end up in a bad situation that you can't get out of. Parents can only protect us from certain things...
Good luck!!!
2007-10-24 15:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Lee P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is fine if a person is truly ready.parents like myself always worry about our children because we love you .and we think we know what we are talking about.i never fly through the roof with my 16 year old .the last thing on her mind right now is sex.she is taking cosmo. and playing sports and hanging out with lots of friends. be a kid for a while sex will come with time. enjoy your youth and family.their is a lot more to life than sex and that is the big deal.spend a little time with mom without sex topics once in a while you might have fun.
2007-10-24 16:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by huntermom46 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that Mothers are always going to be more concerned about their daughters having sex than about their sons' sexual adventures. It's because girls (who are usually the sexually responsible ones carrying condoms etc) are vulnerable to being raped, sexually abused or having their drinks spiked etc. if they aren't vigilant.
Mothers think that their daughters will get pregnant by accident or unwillingly engaged in unsafe sex or other sex related activities. This is such a big deal for Mothers because they care and love and worry about their daughter's health and well being.
All you can do is ensure you're practising safe sex and assure your Mother that you're taking all the necessary precautions so she needn't worry.
2007-10-24 16:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by ChameleonGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex isn't just a physical act, it's an emotional one as well (for females especially). That's probably why it's made into such a big deal.
2007-10-24 15:54:41 · answer #8 · answered by Monkey007 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy and STD's happen from sex. Thinking it won't happen won't prevent it from happening. Sex IS a big deal and if you don't understand that, I'm sorry for you. 'Cause you'll never get it. But you will get pregnant and you'll probably get STD's. Some day you'll wish you had listened to your mom, but by then it will be too late. Good luck.
2007-10-24 16:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by Skatermomof5 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is just worried for you because she doesn't want you to make a choice that will affect the rest of your life. Her job is to protect her baby and that's you! Even though sex seems harmless enough, it is always possible to get pregnant or HIV or another STD, and your mom imagines the worst - that's her job as a mom!
2007-10-24 15:54:29 · answer #10 · answered by Laeticia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋