he is expecting me to host his sister, her husband and two boys in two days for a long weekend. I have been working very long days and am tired of all the things that need fixing around here. Am I wrong to ask them to stay at a motel? Her husband won't stay at my father in laws house because it is old and dumpy.
2007-10-24 15:28:50 · 25 answers · asked by Sophiesmama 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's his family - tell him to clean it up. If he doesn't want to, then let them come and visit and tell them to step over the mess. Eat out every night and make them pay for their own. If they don't understand the fact you have an outside job and don't feel like turning your home into a bed and breakfast, that's their problem.
Embarrassing to host family or friends when the house is in disrepair and in need of cleaning, but maybe your husband will think twice before he has these expectations of you again. Your husband sounds like he is rather inconsiderate and perhaps a bit of a chauvinist.
2007-10-24 15:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by drewxjacobs 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to do his share. He is lazy. You work and all the housework is your responsibility? Wake up girl. He has it made. Not only are you the house maid but you bring home a paycheck also.I don't think that I could make them stay at a motel. I also would not take this on myself. Tell him that he needs to start doing his share and now is the time to start. Tell him what needs to be done and then do your part and leave him to his. If he fails to step up to the plate the easiest way to fix him is to go on strike. No housecleaning, dinner, clean clothes or anything else that you normally do. Marriage is a partnership and you don't have a partner. You have another child. Lay down the law and stick to it. Good luck.
2007-10-24 16:15:23 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, tell him what needs to be done, communicate. Ask him to help you if he wants his sister and her family to stay there. If you are both working it should be a joint effort to get things ready. It should be a joint effort everyday. If he doesn't help or try to understand then tell him that you can't have everything done before they arrive. Then if you still can't get anywhere just stop. Have you talked to your sister in law? She may understand what you are feeling and what you are going through. She does know your husband and may be able to help you through this. Communicate with your spouse, then your sister in law if it doesn't work.
You would not be wrong to ask them to stay in a motel, but family is family so it may be worth trying to work something out so no one gets hurt feelings. No you shouldn't have to do everything either. Family can surprise you and understand even when you think they wouldn't. Give your husband a chance, give your sister in law a chance. If neither of them get it then just quit. Take a mini vacation yourself go get a room of your own and enjoy the peace and quiet and relax. You need a break too.
2007-10-24 16:24:53 · answer #3 · answered by bkdrm41897 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife seems to be luckier than you are. I do my share of the chores around the house.
However, back to you. The problem is not the sister, etc. coming over. The problem is your husband not carrying his share of the load.
What you basically have is a fairness issue. Assuming you both have jobs outside of the house and work at these an equal amount of time, I think its reasonable that you both do about 50% of the housework. (You can adjust the numbers if this is not the case).
The next step would be for you and he to sit down and make a list of all chores that need to be done in the house (laundry, mowing the lawn, cooking, washing the dishes, vaccumming, etc.) Also try to estimate how long each chore will take per week.
At this point, have a draft. You can pick a job that you'll agree to do, and then he can pick the job that he will agree to do. Alternate until all of the jobs are selected, and you may also want to check and make sure the hours are somewhat balanced.
If this does not work, then your next step is, "If you don't want to help me with things around the house, then you can take care of your things, and I'll take care of mine." That means you cook only for you (and your kids, if you have them), do only your laundry, etc..). Let him fend for himself.
2007-10-24 15:47:11 · answer #4 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with the way your husband is, but to be honest you made you bed. From what you've written your husband never helps and you've put up with it. From his point of view why are you complaining at a most inconvienient time when you're about to have guests?
He's going to be upset when you tell him about the motel, so I say go all the way and tell him that he's got to help around the house.
2007-10-24 16:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by Tracey H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the things around your own house go "unfixed" then the next time this "lovely couple" come to town, they won't stay at your house either because it'll be old and dumpy too. Case closed.
2007-10-25 01:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh thats a load of crap, a relationship is a two way street, he needs to get his butt up and help out, no matter if your having company or not. Put your foot down and tell him you aint doing nothing around the house till he starts helping out. If he dont do nothing, just hire a maid and make him pay for it.
2007-10-24 16:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by tuff5469 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell your husband he better get things done and plan on playing host or they are not staying here. But if you say it you have to stick to it, or he will never take you serious.
2007-10-24 16:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by dcdaniel1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not ,and your husband should be helping you with the house work, he lives there to. Your a wife not a maid. If they're that fussy, they need to stay in a motel.
2007-10-24 15:34:32 · answer #9 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. Ask them to stay at a motel and tell them why. They can't get mad about that and if they don't like it then so what. They will get over it. Good luck.
2007-10-25 07:16:13 · answer #10 · answered by Mommyof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋