How do I fix my marriage?

Question

My husband has gone away to think about the issues he has with our marriage. My insecurities with myself and my control on him.
How do i love myself again and trust in my husband.

My husband is wonderful to me he does his best to give me everything i want and is always telling me how much is loves me and how pretty i am. I do beleive he is sincere. Its just my mind that shuts and i continue to tell myself he isn't right. This is what i think is getting to him. I am insecure with me so i am constantly hanging on him where is he what is he doing.

Answer 1

Sugar what you don't understand is your husband sees you thur his eyes not yours. To him you are all those things pretty etc. Sounds to me like you have issues that need attention. You need to like you. Break the control thing. Its not necessary and that is a good why to start problems in a marriage. If you love your husband you'll do whatever it takes to make your marriage a good one... Best of Luck.

Answer 2

Fixed marriages last longer than love marriages because in societies where you have fixed marriage divorce is usually totally out of the question or saved for really extreme cases. In many cases fixed marriage is more of a business or a deal than what we call "marriage" in our society. Sometimes love comes later and sometimes not, but the deal is usually not meant to be broken. I personally prefer love marriage with all its disadvantages.

Answer 3

if it's reached this point it's pretty tough but not impossible. One simple way out is to give up the marriage and work on yourself. It's not the easiest thing but very crucial to a relationship. Seems like you are punishing yourself and chances are it's not fair to your husband as well. If he is as understanding, he will totally relate to what you want, cut your loses and break up. It's easier to work on one person than both of you at the same time.

First you have to trust and love yourself only than you can give and receive love from another.

Answer 4

I'm facing the same problem myself. I'm very frustrated today and share your feelings. I felt insecure because I felt alone most of the time when he is always out with his friends. If I stop him from going, he feels tha I'm controlling his life. How about mine? I'm like a bird in a cage with 2 little birds, wanted to fly out, but unable.... I'm very stress. Sorry, I don't have good answers for you, just hope you get better with your life.

Answer 5

Take this time to see what you want....do you feel you have issues with your marriage?? i am sure he isnt perfect eiher...Know you are a good person, good enough to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. when he does get back, definitley go to a therapist...running away doesnt solve anything and it is so frustrating bec everyone's feeling's cannot be discussed....

Answer 6

If your issues stem from within, seek therapy. Cure yourself. You're no good to anyone until you do.

If your issues stem from him, and I have a suspicion they do, change the locks and open a bottle of wine. You'll be amazed at how relaxing it is to have him gone for a while.

Then call me and I'll bring over a movie, and we can celebrate our new jerk-free lifestyle. hehe.. just kidding

Answer 7

you need to do what he is doing and soul search yourself. be completely honest with yourself while you do this so you can find the cure. ask the tough questions to yourself and answer honestly.
Am I selfish
Why do I feel the need to control his life and not give him a chance to be him
If I were him would I walk from me too
What in my childhood made me who I am today
Are mom and dad like this
Do I know the reason but don't care of the out come

Answer 8

Go to the local library and get a book on self help. If you have problems with insecurities than you are the only one who can change that behavior. Start exercising, go on a diet, get a new hair style..do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Trust your husband unless he gives you a reason not to trust him. (that is a whole other issue) If you feel confident about yourself you will feel better about your relationship with him.

Answer 9

Counseling does not take years if you're going for a specific issue.

I would suggest counseling with or without your husband.

Answer 10

well youre not telling us the whole story..so we really cant give an honest answer...what is the problem with the marriage first of all...so all i can say is you both get counseling to see if its worth saving