I have posted some questions regarding my bf would go back to his ex wife with open arms whenever we had an arrgument. Some answers said that they should work thing out since they had a commitment in their marriage before. And, he may find the new relationship is not as comfortable as the old one. It seemed for me that the new partner is less value than an ex. Will it be better to work things out with his ex wife/husband than with his new partner? Can anyone share your experiences as a new partner. What do you feel and how do you handle it?
2007-10-24 14:41:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Here is what I know... I worked hard at my marriage for over 10 years.... During the last 11 years. I suffered from a disfunctional relationship because I was trying to "do it for my kid" HUGE MISTAKE... My kid will now tell me... "Why did you stay if you were so miserable. I saw it, you weren't happy all the time I was in high school." My problem... When I started seeing my new friend... I was happy again... She gave me the feeling that I had new energy and hope to have fun in my life again... Doesn't mean my ex and I haven't stayed friends, and yes it seems like I could go back, but it only takes me a moment to remember how good my new found friend makes me feel and what she means to me. I don't think that my relationship is any less comfortable, but I do know my old relationship contains many issues that hold "baggage", which held me down for years...
2007-10-24 14:59:30 · answer #1 · answered by rukidden99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I met my husband after his seperation from his first wife-who was his high school sweet heart-the only woman he had ever been with and themother of his only child. Reluctant as I was I feel in love with him and we moved in together within a month of dating. Everything was great until I realized he was still a married man. I gave him the utimatum to either put his divorce to the forfront-or move out. Well, she decided she wanted him back(after 6 months of seperation and two different live in boyfriends) and then the games began-I was so afraid of losing him to a woman that held a big part of his life that I didn't care what it was doing to me- I just wanted him to pick me. After two weeks of him "not knowing" if he should go with his past or move on to the future-I had had enough. I threw him out-packed all his stuff and took it to his mothers house. I told him me couldn't make up his mind so I made up my mind to not settle anymore. Long story short-I gave him his two weeks to explore me or her, something new with no gaurantees or something with history. He realized he didn't love her. We got married a year later. So my answer is- I was a new woman, I was intimidated for a while, I was hurt that he did not know right away if I was the right choice, but past and history doesn't always win. I won his heart and after that two week of undecivness-he has never looked back. I think if your bf has doubts-like my husband did-then you should back off-way off- to protect yourself. When he knows for sure, then make yourself available-if he is worth it. I am not saying let him cheat at all. I am saying he is the only one that can decide when it is completely over. An x is an X for a reason. I believe once you are married you should do whatever it takes to make it work-but lets face it most people get married that never should have in the first place. Once your done-your done. But he needs to decide that.
2007-10-24 21:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by lady K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would not let a man cheat on me. I would send him back to the ex. New partners do not have less value. You just got hooked up with a man that does not know how to treat you. He will continue to go back and forth as long as the two of you let him. Why not? He has the best of both worlds. Find a new boyfriend that will treat you like you need to be treated.
2007-10-24 21:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily.
Ofcourse during the initial days, there is bound to be some comparison.
But if the new partner commits himself/herself to this relationship, it will not be long before the "ex" is totally out of picture.
2007-10-24 21:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by snowwhite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Probably if he has a kid/kids with her he might still think its better to work things out or maybe since they were married there an attchment....but it might not be the same for her...or vice versa...it all depends on the persons....
2007-10-24 21:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋