How do I cut the apron strings of my children who won't let go?

Question

20yr old daughter with a child

I don't answer the phone
They show up

And can't spend her money right

Answer 1

Sell the house and move into a smaller place, one that is definitely too small for the children as well. Or, sell out and move away. Don't tell them where.
Or, give away all the beds and take up a hobby that uses that spare bedroom.
Or, you could just say, "Look, I raised my family, now it is your turn to raise yours. I won't be here to mother the rest of your life, so call me once in a while."

Answer 2

It's a little late now but...

My were raised knowing they have three options when they graduated and turned 18. One, get a job. You have six months to move out. Two, enlist in a branch of the military. Three, go to college. You can live here until you graduate. Then refer to number one.

My five are independent, capable adults with their own homes, vehicles, children, and good jobs.

Sit them down and tell them what you expectations are and stick to it. Yes, it's hard in today's world, but it was hard for us, too, when we left home for the first time. No, they won't have all the material amenities but we didn't either. That's part of growing up.

Answer 3

Well, you don't say how old your children are, but if they are old enough to live alone and are capable to provide themselves, then you simply let them figure it out on their own.

I think every young person needs a little help from time to time, but there is a difference in helping out once in awhile and always being there to catch them when they fall.

All we can really hope for as parents is that we gave them enough love and encouragement, education, of course, that they are functioning members of society, and always try to do the right thing even when no one is looking.

If they lack all these things, despite your best efforts, then I am reminded of something an old man told me that was now raising a couple of his grandsons. He had what he called the 1990 rule. They knew when they turned 19, they had 90 days to get out.

Answer 4

If you haven't done the following, tell them you love them but:

take their house keys,
stop paying for their cars, insurance and any other bills you may be paying,
kick them out your house,
stop giving them gas money,
screen their calls and only accept them once a day depending on how frequently perhaps take it to once per week.

You know what you need to do, stop enabling them.

Answer 5

Same problem, just different names&faces!! My kids are grown & doing well!! My wifes kids 26&23, are just the opposite! They keep their mom broke all the time, If she's broke, it runs into r budget!! And I've had enough! I've told her & them, its over they are moochers, and expect us to pay them to be lazy!! I've cut them off, told them its stopped, and told mom (my wife) to quit it! I won't work my butt off, so they don't have to work at all/mismanage thier$$$!! They don't like me too much, but I love them enough to be tough!! If my continues to hand it out, then she'll have to go live with them!! Get tough, and put a stop to this!! Its not good for anyone!!

Answer 6

I love my son and would do anything for him including letting him move back home for nothing. What kind of parents turn their backs on their own kids that is asking for or need help. I'm sorry i guess i am different from you.
I can't believe what I'm reading from all the parents here,one says we didn't have anything when we left home that's true but our rent wasn't 1000 a month and food for one wasn't 65.00 a week or phone I could go on and on. Without our help most will never have anything to call their own. He is my child for life and i couldn't live with myself if i did not help in anyway i could.

Remember you will need help when you get to old to do for yourself. Do you think your kids won't remember you didn't help them when you could and chose not to.

Answer 7

congratulations that ur son has graduated extreme college and is going to varsity....dont complication suggestion him to call you and write you letters and e-mailing one yet another is okay yet dont complication whilst he is going away he can or u can continuously flow to throughout the time of weekend/holidays in basic terms dont enable him flow too some distance away you will possibly no longer have the means to maintain music of him

Answer 8

Those are not apron strings dear those are dollar bills.

Answer 9

chances are it is your checkbook that those apron strings are tied to. Cut them loose, and make them support themselves, and you'll have PLENTY of free time, believe me.

Answer 10

that really depends on how old they are.