She slept with my husband?

Question

we got a divorce. He moved in with her 6 months after we separated. She should feel secure and confident in her relationship with him - right? Instead she competes with me. My son and I get a dog - they get a dog. I buy the car I have dreamed about and my son and I are very excited. We love that car! Then...they buy the same car! Of course theirs is a more expensive version. Why do they have to do this? I barely speak to my ex - only when it is about our son. I do not bad mouth him or the girlfriend. I have done my best to support my son's relationship with his dad. Why do these women feel they have to compete with the ex wife when the ex wife is not even in the picture?

Answer 1

Hmmm... I wonder if this isn't competition for you per say... but comptition for your son's attention... It sounds like what happened is that you got a dog, and then your son talked about it at his father's house, and they decided to get a dog to compete for him... You got a car, and even thought it soemthign special and different for you two, they got one to compete with you over the attention as it sounds like your song was excited for you for the car...

I'd ignore it and don't let these sort of things get under your skin... THough, what you should do... is if your son want's a new gamign system... have him say that you got one (if he's up to it) and see if they get one for him... Just saying... might be fun for him to get...

Answer 2

Probably just doing it because they feel that since he was married before and you have a child with him and what not, that there must still be a part of him that still cares for you. And that you may eventually get back together. And they know their status as a gf is just that, the gf. But you are the mother of his child and they probably feel that he would drop everything, even them, at a whim if you were to call him and say something was wrong with your son. I think its pretty sad though that women are that insecure. I mean you would think that a divorce would prove that things didn't work out well enough between the two of you, so what in the world is the point of thinking he would drop them and go back to you? But I guess people are used to having their positions in people's lives be so insignificant. Nothing more you can really do about it though. Because its their own personal issue.

Answer 3

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you right now, but I am so angry for you!!!! We divorced women try to just break away and start a new life and sometimes the ex or worse his new gf/wife won't let there be peace. Just remember that imitation is the most sincere form of flaterry.
The new woman is obviously threatened by you and is insecure in comparison to you. Leave it at that and relish in the fact that she's not happy in her role as your exes partner. It's going to be an ongoing battle for her to try to keep up with you. Don't stress over it; laugh about it. And you might want to mentinon something like, "Oh we're thinking of getting a pet snake. Since you do everything we do right after we do it, maybe we can get a two for one deal." Or something like that. My question is does you ex not see her actions and how pathetic she is? Sheessshhhhh......Good luck.

Answer 4

I was once there- I felt the need to compete, but for very different reasons-she left him, but when she found out he finally moved on-she tried to get him back. It is hard being with a man that was once married and especially had a child. Its hard because there was a connection there for a while and even if only about your child-you still continue to communicate. That's hard and very intimidating. Once I felt secure with my now husband of 5 1/2 years I stopped competing-and IT turned into her competing with me-its funny how life works. I would say take it as a compliment. It may bother you, but that's why she does it-to bother you and prove to you and your X that she is better than you. If she really felt that way she would not feel the need to prove it. Just brush it off-and smile!!!

Answer 5

"These women" are insecure in the relationship and with good reason. She slept with a married man and now what does she have? She has a man that cheated on his wife and somewhere deep down she probably knows he is going to cheat on her. She is just the girlfriend and she doesn't have the history with him, she doesn't even have his child. If her prize doesn't respect marriage vows, what does he respect? Certainly not his live in girlfriend.

I assume you found out about his affair and initiated the divorce, that probably drives her need to compete as well.

Answer 6

Its a power trip and your winning. How sad that the woman is still so threatened by you that she can't live her own life. Your ex is trying to make her happy but its obvious she feels he still loves you and needs proof that he doesn't through buying stuff. I know its hard and makes you angry but take pride in the power you have right now. If you get angry buy it make comments, like your thinking of taking your son to Disney World and then watch them do it instead. Or going to Hawaii, see how far they would go to compete. It might make you feel better to see them make and *** of themselves to beat you. Ohhh and maybe one day you could write a book about it all and make a little money off of your misery. But besides that i would suggest you just continue to try and be happy its the best revenge of all.

Answer 7

Alana:

Many women (and men for that matter) have very low self-esteem and are insecure for one reason or another. It sounds like your ex and his girlfriend want to show that they can have "all the wonderful things in life" and in order to do that, they feel they need to be one "up" on whatever you are able to achieve or purchase. This reasoning certainly doesn't make what they are doing right, but realize that it is not something personal against you; they apparently can't be comfortable in their own "skin" without showing you up.

Stay positive and keep your chin up! My kudos go to you for continuing to support your son's relationship with his dad; it's not an easy thing to do.

Blessings,

-- Lisa

Answer 8

it will probably be because she knows you 2 have had so much history and a son even though you 2 r divorced. so from her view you could be a problem. also she will have 2 try and bond with your son all of this sort of pressure could mean her resenting you a little bit. but you 3 need to try and discuss this in a calm manner. and well done for supporting your son. also your ex will obviously be looking to annoy you always. but i hope it all works out.

Answer 9

women are stupid and especially women like her. She feels that she has to prove herself to you because you know what....you were wifey and she was just some piece was knocking off on the side. She also is probably doing that becuase you have his son and their will always be a connection between you and the father of your son! She feels threatened by you! But all you gotta do is tell that ***** to kick rocks and watch her back because its always the nice quiet ones she gotta look after.

and your ex and **** either, he sorry for cheating on you. dont worry boo, you will find someone out there that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated!

Answer 10

usually because you have a past with their husband / your ex. that is a hard pill for women to swallow. you were married for how ever many years and know him well, and you have a child together. those are connections that she may not have yet with him. so, she might actually be trying to mimick you thinking that is what her bf / husband really wants. it is unfortunate that you and your son cannot separate yourselves from her in a good way because of the drama. it sounds like you are a smart woman though, i am sure her immaturity will show through to others soon enough. good luck!