Sometimes i feel as if my husband is flirting right in front of me. We have only been married 6 months and we are both in our early 20’s. I have a 15 year old sister that is very pretty. She comes over and stays with us on the weekends some. It literally makes me sick to my stomach when she is here, because they are constantly flirting. They pretend to be fighting smacking each other around and he even smacked her butt once. Then when we go out with my girl friends, he talks to them and ignores me. I don’t know if maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill or if I should really be worried? I just want to know why he would do this?
2007-10-24 14:09:47 · 18 answers · asked by K-La 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He doesn't respect you.
When I first started reading what you wrote I thought maybe you were overreacting because my sister and I are 13 years apart so I was pretty young when she got married and I used to play around with her husband, smacking each other, and wrestling.. however, he never touched me inappropriately and vice versa.
If he smacked your sister on the butt, she's only fifteen, that's actually disturbing and inappropriate!
Why don't you speak up about this matter to him? Your friends, if they notice him flirting, should automatically change the subject and direct it towards you or something else other then what he's saying.
This man is NOT respecting you. Please talk to him about it. If it doesn't stop, I'd try to seek marriage counseling as a last resort..
2007-10-24 14:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have only been married 6 months, I would be surprised if you said this wasn't happening before you got married. Sounds like maybe you thought he would change or maybe it didn't bother you then, but suddenly now it does. It is wrong and disrespectful. Put your foot down about it now!! If it doesn't stop, then I am sorry to say it's something you will have to live with (which I don't recommend) or it's time to rethink your vows and whether or not this was really the husband for you.
2007-10-24 22:21:19 · answer #2 · answered by Sasha's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just really touchy, just flirt. I've known men and women who do this. They are usually all bark and no bite. I think it makes them feel youthful. But when someone makes advances back at them... they usually back off pretty quickly. It could make for an uncomfortable relationship, if the other person is a bit insecure. One way to get around this is to display "public displays of affection" with him. If you're all clingy and mushy on him it kinda takes away some power of his advances on other women. If he pushes you away then I would say something is wrong... in the relationship.— if he brings up that you're too affectionate in public tell him he's too flirty with other women.
2007-10-24 21:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you sister and husband are behaving is way out of bounds. That is more than flirting. You husband is disrespecting you in front of others. You need to have a very serious talk with him. No, you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Why does he need the attention from other women... especially from a 15 year old?
2007-10-24 21:17:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Here's a true life example:
I have a friend who married a guy, and while they were dating and living with one another, he got into bed naked with her sister, saying he was drunk and got lost. Sad thing is she still married him (after numerous shady things), he doesn't work and basically uses her to go out and party (probably flirting w/ other women and spending her money!). Sad part is he is almost 40.
I don't think age matters as much as maturity level. He sounds like he wasn't mature enough to get married, and I agree with the person who states you thought he would change after marriage, this almost never happens. You can't change anyone, they are who they are, until they decide to change.
I wouldn't kick him to the curb, but learn how to take care of your emotional needs, and if he is too immature to care about that, then get out of this marriage, BEFORE you decide to have kids, thinking this will someone force him to grow up.
Worry about yourself, not this dimwit!
2007-10-25 11:51:05 · answer #5 · answered by cinny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say, is that I had the same problem 4 years ago. Well, I got rid of him and I couldn't be happier. If I were you, I would move on. You can find someone who is interested in only you. Yeah, all guys are going to look at other women, but there is a difference btween looking and drooling over them. I know exactly how you feel, my sister is a few years younger than I, and my ex used to look at her like a fresh piece of meat. It is heartbreaking, but it never gets better, only worse. Kick his A** to the curb, and go find you a man who really deserves to be with you. The reason why he is doing this, obviously is because he wants more than what you can give him. Get rid of him before it gets any worse and good luck, you are gonna need it!!
2007-10-24 21:20:33 · answer #6 · answered by proudmommy 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well, it would bother me if my husband had his hands all over my sister, even if it was wrestling around.....of course I have an issue with personal space....perhaps the sister does not need to come spend lots of time anymore? Did you marry your husband knowing he was a flirt? What made you think he would change, or what has caused him to change if he wasn't such a flirt?
2007-10-24 21:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I use to think my husband was constantly flirting (he never smacked another girls bottom though). Over the past ten yrs I have realized its basicly his personality.
What I take has flirting is just how he interacts with others. I have (and occasionally still do) talk to him about it. Which is what I advise u to do.
2007-10-24 21:17:52 · answer #8 · answered by blueeyd_princess 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Very simple give him a taste of his own medicine. I have been married for 38 years and believe he wont like it. Then he willl see how what he does makes you feel/
2007-10-24 21:49:48 · answer #9 · answered by Linda A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like that is just his personality..... if that is the case I'm sure he was that way even before the marriage.... I'm sure it is totally harmless... many men have a flirty personality.... I have had at times as well with some of my wife's friends that I feel very comfortable around but I would never dream of crossing the line and have any type of sexual actions with them
2007-10-24 21:21:18 · answer #10 · answered by DavidV 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋