was physically abusive?? Did it get better on it's own or did it gradually get worse?? Was alchohol a part of the problem??
2007-10-24 14:09:03 · 23 answers · asked by Ginny 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I want to say Thank You to everyone for their input!! I was trying to help a good friend here to let her know that I wasn't the only one who felt that she needed to get out of it and stay out of it!! She has read these answers and it has helped!! I appreciate the people here in the P&S community for answering this question and for helping one of our own!!
2007-10-24 18:45:17 · update #1
I've never been in a physically abusive relationship. I would imagine that it would only get worse. As the partner will learn how to say what the other needs to hear to make them stay. The longer it continues the harder it is to break away and the more dangerous it is for the victim. It's sad to say that victims that do escape generally find themselves in another abusive relationship due to the failure to seek help to understand why they allowed the abuse to continue so long and resolve the issues at hand. Many victims don't know anything else as that has always been their "NORM". Growing up they may have been abused, picked on at school, and it is only normal to accept and tolerate that abuse. Perhaps they witness their mother be physically abused from thier father, step-father, etc. The tolerance of such abuse can also stem from low self esteem, a sense of dependency on the partner, the fear of being alone, fear of the spouse/partner killing you, and the list goes on and on. My advice is get out, seek help, believe in yourself and know that you are worth more and deserve more than that. Don't jump into another relationship. Give yourself time to discover who you really are, who God meant you to be. Not the lie or person you've allowed yourself to become over the last whatever years. Jesus loves you!!!
2007-10-24 15:48:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well growing up was hugely difficult, my da` was an alcoholic and was very `severe` on occasions. It didn`t get any better and was becoming more and more abusive as time went on. I did survive but then I found that when I got married this relationship too become physically abusive and I constantly looked to my self for the answer, there was a whole list of why it was all my fault and in the end I decided that my kids were suffering more by being in this atmosphere so it had to come to an end.
2007-10-24 22:39:00 · answer #2 · answered by finn mchuil 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have not, but I have had to deal with the effects many times. Far too often, the abused person, woman or man (more men than you might think are the victims of spousal abuse) more often than not blames themselves. That's the power of the 'abuser,' shifting blame. It is NEVER the victims fault..it is the abuser's cowardice.
The lucky ones find the strength and the courage to leave. It never gets better on its own, and one should not think that it will. Nobody should have to face such a horrible experience. The moment someone raises a fist or makes a threat..that's the time to end it. "He or she didn't mean it and is very sorry.."
The number of times I heard a family say those words while looking at their loved one in ICU..or on a slab...
2007-10-24 15:34:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Yes .. NEVER got better (alcohol only intensified the problems with his basic sociopathology ... his ADHD ... his inability to deal with reality).
It got BETTER when I walked away and LEFT everything I owned/earned up to that point in time behind .. and for a while (while the money I tossed at him to LET ME and the CHILDREN GO) lasted. Then .. over the past almost 2 decades, when he feels a 'need' (ie: Doesn't want to work, is fired/laid off, etc) .. then he comes back to TORMENT me once again (with Identity Theft, Burglaries, Stalking ... etc etc etc == the LATEST Burglary of MY HOME was done in August 2006, and he also stole my identity once again then too).
Restraining Orders, Protective Orders, No Trespass Orders .. they are NOT worth anything ... except to SUCK more $$$ Out of my pocket. Police and Law Enforcement do NOT do anything to help ... Courts look the other way when the ex comes around and Burglarizes, stalks, abuses, etc ... so ...
For so many, many years, I have to LIVE being constantly AWARE ... constantly with Alarm Systems ON and ARMED ... constantly worried "WHAT NOW" ... and constantly Vigilant ... for that is what SAVES lives.
2007-10-24 14:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by sglmom 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I was married for 10 years. I was not hit by him physically, but, mentally I was so battered I was numb. There was no color in the world. Everything was grey...
In my early 20's I was in a physically abusive relationship,though.You don't know fear until the person that you think loves you picks you up from work and (just because they had a bad day) drives to a deserted area and shoves the barrel of a shotgun down your throat and dares you to run...
3 years I put up with it. Never knew if I'd see the sun come up the next day. Because i was paralized with fear. I thought if I left, he'd kill me and my whole family. Abusers get you "under a spell".
I would not erase that part of my life,though. It made me stronger. It's hard to take that first step.
But, once you do....color starts coming back into your life.
*I'd dare the coward to raise a hand to me now!*
Men that abuse womwn are insecure with themselves. My boyfriend didn't confront men...but,he'd beat the hell out of a girl!
COWARDS!!
2007-10-24 14:40:59 · answer #5 · answered by wanjoy 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
yes and it never got better. u keep telling yourself it will. but the reality of it is it don't. it keeps getting worse until one of u are in the hospital room.alcohol and drugs was a problem. he was a user i didnt touch a thing.i thought if i stayed a saint so called it would change him. the more i tried the worse he got. i finally gave up divorced him.i live alone but i'm happy as all get out.u have to save yourself u know.
2007-10-24 17:23:59 · answer #6 · answered by spoodleroo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was a part of a ONE TIME abusive relationship. My ex decided one evening he would beat the shitz out of me and I moved out 3 days later. I will NEVER tolerate anything like that. No alcohol involved...only fists.
Sandy :O(
2007-10-24 14:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
She beat me all the time! It was horrible! Once when I came home a few minutes from work she clotheslined me outta knowwhere! I had to answer her calls withing a certain amount of time or she would freak out!
Shes 6ft3 a very domineering woman.
2007-10-24 14:17:38 · answer #8 · answered by ChuckDeucez 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It did get better. Alcohol was not a factor. Bi polar was. When it did get better and left. The dramatic change was great but I was done. But I was also left afraid of what would happen if I left. So I left.
2007-10-24 14:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I was and of course things got better..they got the best the day I packed my things and walked out the door and said ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH. He was an alchohilic but half the time he was sober so he didn;t have the fake excuses for it.
2007-10-24 14:18:27 · answer #10 · answered by living it 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋