i checked our internet history which he hid..which showed he has looked at porn every day for the past 3 weeks. god knows how long before that. i confronted him with this issue a long time ago before we were married (we've only been married 2 months). he promised to cut down since we were gonna get married and i told him how i felt. lately, i feel he hasnt been that interested in me. we only have sex 1-2 times a week even though im always more than willing..heck i want it!! the only reasom i checked our internet history was because i was suspicios..what newlywed husband who claims his wife is out of his league doesnt want to have sex with her when she is sooo willing and wanting it. well now i have my answer. he looks at porn every single day when i am not home. i confronted him and he said he would stop..but i have heard that one before. i told him i didnt believe he would stop and he said "f-you" and then stormed out of the house. what should i do? i am so lost and heartbroken.
2007-10-24 14:08:21 · 12 answers · asked by Heather 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i wouldnt mind if he looked at it once in a while but every day???? and he doesnt want to have sex with me every day even though i am only 25, in excellent shape and he tells me i am out of his league?? i feel so sad and confused. i know he loves me but i wish he desired me too. as a woman i would love for my husband to desire me but apparently porn is good enough for him.
2007-10-24 14:11:06 · update #1
maybe i would watch it with him...if it wasnt just chicks naked and chicks on chicks. maybe if it was a couple having sex...but he seems to wanna watch young "teen porn" girls pleasuring themselves and lesbian action, unless i am willing to do that in real life...how can i possibly satisfy him all by myself?
2007-10-24 14:23:04 · update #2
Get over it a lil porn NEVER killed anyone. Stop snooping and watch it with him, u may end up liking it and God forbid having some fun!!
2007-10-24 14:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by YUMMY1 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Perhaps he has an addiction.
I know it may sound ridiculous, but obsession with porn has become a well-known problem with men in marriages.
Maybe, he feels neglected while you are out, I'm assuming at work, so he takes matters into his own hands.
I think if you two already talked about this and he broke his promise to cut back, then you two should get marriage counseling. He may have a problem that could be resolved with a little professional help.
2007-10-24 21:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is an addiction... and you have to treat this like you would any other addiction. Any man who would rather beat it, than make love to you has a problem...
You need to understand that he is going to be sensitive to this, he got caught in the act, and is feeling insecure, sensitive, judged and all that.
I suggest that you two seek out councel or something to help mediate. He definitely has to want to stop, but that isnt enough. This is beginning to happen more and more, men being addicted to porn. Its not that you're not enough either, its not that you need to buy a vibrator, or that your drive is just higher, he is addicted and is caught up in a fantasy land.
Try to welcome him, talk to him, and address this in a supportive, non confrontational manner. Its hard, cause you're hurting, and you have a right to be. But be careful how you approach this.
2007-10-24 21:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the first thing that comes to mind is why did you marry a man when you had issues? Did you really think it would all change just because you got married? I wouldn't worry too much about him walking out I'm sure he will come back when he cools down. Here is just a thought.... instead of him watching this by himself try watching it worth him.... my wife and I watch porn together and some of it we reenact and at times we even laugh at some of it. Become part of his fantasies.... maybe it will make him see you in a different light and instead of the porn he will act his fantasies out with you instead.
2007-10-24 21:17:03 · answer #4 · answered by DavidV 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should not have went into this marriage until you seen that he was going to change. Things that you want to change about your partner only gets worse once you get married. I feel bad for you, but when he is telling you that you are out of his league he may be talking about other things besides your looks. He probably has an addiction to porn and the reason he is telling you this is because he feels guilty and he knows you deserve some one that does not have that kind of addiction
2007-10-24 21:19:00 · answer #5 · answered by Cristy 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
okay , i know how you feel..really . I at one time felt the same way but , now that I'm older and more secure with myself I dont view porn as a "threat" . Some people like to look , others enjoy the act itself. If you could not view it as so weird or nasty and understand its a enhancer towards better sex. Maybe you can find some that has a story line geared more towrards a womens point of view ...VIVVID puts out good porn. I myself learned to be more comfortable with my sexuality as I got older . Dont be so upset ...its just porn ...he could be a drunk , chasing women or a drug addict . Unless the porn he is watching is under age girls or animals or guys on guys ..then you have something to worry about.
2007-10-24 21:22:03 · answer #6 · answered by violtedaze 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It is ok sweetie he will come home soon then you guys need to discuss what you have told us (about the porn but no sex) come to an aggreement and hope that it works out for the two of you.
2007-10-24 21:25:25 · answer #7 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you feel abused and betrayed by your husband indulging in porn. Particularly since you had an understanding about it before you got married. Porn is one of those nasty things that makes a wife feel insecure and undesirable. But for men, it is like sex with no responsibility to please anyone but himself. For myself, I think it shows a certain immaturity on the persons part who indulges in it , but we all have our own opinions. He is angry because he got caught "red handed" and can't deny what he is doing. Since it is plainly going to be an issue , marriage counseling is the best bet, But don't expect a porn addict to change. I think you made your mistake when you married him before he grew up.
2007-10-24 21:26:23 · answer #8 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi,,, things are heated up at this time ,,, he will come back home ,,, don't worry just be cool,,, he will chill ,,,you need to really think about what is going on ,,, if you think that your husband really have a problem,,, then you really need to talk to a counselor that can try to help him overcome his problem,,, because4 believe it or not ,,, porn is very addicting,,, and very home recking,,, they need to realize that is just a fantasy ,,,
I hope that everything Works out well for you
Good Luck
Leena
2007-10-24 21:19:51 · answer #9 · answered by leena 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
babygirl?
get out the vibrater and smooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooottttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh away that clump of stress with a bout 10 - 20 O's.
beats his 2 pumps then dump anyways
he has issues btw
anull a.s.a.p.
2007-10-24 21:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋