My husband had given up on our marriage a while back and I was still fighting for it. I tried everything I could think of to make things better, marriage therapy, reading millions of books, spending hours researching. I just wanted him to see that there was happiness and could be more happiness if we both just tried. He refused to try and didnt care too. Our marriage has consisted of a lot of things. Immigration issues, how to raise children, online pornography, talking to girls online and making arrangements to meet, etc... Those are bad things but there have been good. So anyway he wanted to seperate, live seperately, so he could have his freedom but not lose the family. I couldnt agree it broke my heart that we were good enough on the side but not all together. We have 2 kids that adore him. The other night after a fight I needed to leave and asked for the keys. He refused. So I took the work keys and called my sister. He called the cops on me for stealing his work keys when...
2007-10-24 13:23:50 · 13 answers · asked by aalshafi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
all I really wanted to do was get the keys and go somewhere to cool down. He wouldnt give me the car keys or the house keys and everything my kids and I have are in that house. So I left but before I did I took the fuses out of the truck so it wouldnt run. Later that night I tried to talk to him and after he called the cops on me I felt betrayed. He knew I would have been back and I had been trying to talk to him and he wanted to hear none of it. So I dropped of his keys, took half of what was in the account for my kids and I to live on and left.
2007-10-24 13:26:45 · update #1
So I went to stay at my moms. I called him monday morning and asked if he wanted to meet for breakfast and discuss it like adults. He said yes and we did. It was amazing. He was the man I had first been married too. He was attentive, loving, and made like he regretted never kissing me or showing me how much he loved me most of our marriage. Like he was upset he had ignored me when all I wanted was to be with him. I thought of nothing else but going home. I wanted to learn from what I did. And I know messing the car up and taking his work keys was a mistake. I wanted to make it up to him and came home. Hes the same as he was before this happened. Rude, yelling, cruel, still wanting a seperation after when we had met for breakfast he had said if he had left he would have come back he missed and loved me so much. And yet now he says ill never forgive you. I wish I could hurt you. Etc... What can I do?
2007-10-24 13:31:57 · update #2
Roaring Gunsmoke comes to mind!
2007-10-24 13:29:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like either he is very manipulative or having some mental problems and you can't help him with either of those unless he wants that. Find an attorney and file for divorce and you will get the house and at least one vehicle perhaps. It would be good if you could work this out for the sake of the kids but since it doesn't appear that is possible, get the divorce so that the children don't think this is the way marriage should be and act that way when they get married some day.
On the other hand, you sound like the perfect person for someone who would apprciate you and work with you on a marriage which will make you happier but you have to let this guy go first and move on. Don't let him drag you down with him.
2007-10-24 13:44:39 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the marriage will never work not unless he forgives you ! and it sounds like he gave up on the marriage along time ago ! so he would have to be the one to make it work and give in a little to make it work if not then you and the kids would be better off alone away from him and starting over because he is mentally abusing you and its hard to get over that ! you should talk to him about the way you feel and you wont the marriage to work and if he could try to make it work and if he cant then you will leave with the kids and its no coming back but you would prefer for yall too work it out and make it work the marriage good luck
2007-10-24 13:59:35 · answer #3 · answered by lil momma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was nice to you in public because he did not want to make a scene. He wanted you to go back to his house so he could get a chance to get his money back and find out what was wrong with his truck. It was all a game and you fell for it. He is never going to change so it is not worth trying to change him. The best thing you can do is get a job to support your kids and forget about this man. Make yourself happy for once, cause it does not sound like your marriage is going to last, unless you are willing to accept every thing he is doing
2007-10-24 14:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't have a job, get one.
start stashing money, because in the end he will give you none.
put up with his crap as long as you can until you have the means to leave and then leave when he is not around.
HAVE A PLAN!!!
after you go, remember what he said at the resturant and what he did when you got home.... because, trust me, he will most certainly do it again if you allow him to.
2007-10-24 13:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possession is 9/10ths of the law. Courts will do what is in the best interest of the child. The justification that many women typically use (successfully) is that the man leaves the home and the child should not be displaced. This very well COULD play against you.
2016-03-13 06:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to make up with this man? He is not treating you with love or respect. Stick to your plan and just leave him and start over. You want to raise your children in a house of love not one of anger and distrust.
Good Luck
2007-10-24 13:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cannot make him want to stay in the marriage.. He's already given up on it.. It's over and nothing short of a miracle will turn it around.
Concentrate on healing you and your children right now.
Good luck !
2007-10-24 13:33:15 · answer #8 · answered by nikki f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey grab the kids and go back to your mothers he has long ago given up on your relationship if he wants to hurt you already well then believe me he is just pondering a way to do it please be smart and get out before he actually does do something that will leave you and your kids screwed!
2007-10-24 13:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by ღKrissyღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you put alot into the resuce of your marriage , iam sure you gave it your all , now get out , improve your life and that of your kids , kids don,t need to see their parents fighting but worse kids can tell when the love is gone and you don,t need them to grow to accept this behaviour as normal , by divorcing you show your kids that to be treated like that as a wife and mother it is not acceptable, they will still enjoy a relationship with their father , but without the friction that is in the home which can only be better for the kids in the long run not to mention the fact that your relationship with him may be clearer without the baggage of tit for tat , over a lost marriage ...... its better to get on for the sake of the kids , than to fight while trying to hold something that is bad together
2007-10-24 14:27:05 · answer #10 · answered by justanother1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋