Why do some fathers worry so much about their daughter's virginity, even when they're of age?

Question

It seems that a lot of fathers want to guard their daughter's cherry with their lives, but want their sons to go out and have all the fun they want. Any theories?

If it is just fear of their daughters getting hurt, how come fathers in some other countries kill their daughters if they find out they had sex out of wedlock.

Answer 1

i think there is something spooky, even creepy, about fathers who are obsessed with their daughter's virginity. i believe it has less to do with some sort incestuous desire on the father's part (this is a running theory i have heard) and more to do with the particular father's inability to view ANY woman, even his own daughter, as anything other than an object, a commodity to be kept in good condition and protected. a father should want his daughter to have a full, happy life--not one in which she is under her father's thumb and feels she must remain a little girl forever in order to please him. fathers "giving away" daughters at weddings is just one symptom of a culture in which there is still the idea that a woman is somehow owned by a man.

edit

no, chris, it doesn't. why, does yours?

Answer 2

How can women remain virgins when there are a lot of men out there who have been taught since boyhood to "sow their wild oats" with all the females possible? It all boils down to too much testoterone on the brain, not enough human decency, integrity, common sense, and Almighty God.

Fathers who give their sons free reign to go out and have all kinds of fun are encouraging and promoting careless, wreckless, and irresponsible behavior in them. When fathers do this, they are literally setting up their sons for failure in their future marriages/relationships with women. Not only that. When their sons get females pregnant, fathers will be very quick to blame females for "trapping their sons" and call the females whorish. If these fathers are so concerned with their daughters' virginity, why on earth would they want to set their sons loose on other men's daughters? Very strange, indeed!

Fathers must be concerned about the virginity of their sons and their daughters. Just because males don't become pregnant is no reason for fathers allowing their sons to run buck wild and carefree.

Answer 3

How much greater evidence of the reality of gender inequity than fathers acknowledging the social inequity involved in the responsibility of child bearing and raising. A father will support his daughter's child, but try and find one who will support his son's child. He will complain that a grievance has been committed against his daughter, and then pat his son on the back for the same situation. And you don't have more sense than to ask why?

Shingoshi Dao

Answer 4

How sad that sons and daughters would be held to different standards. I think fathers want to protect their daughters and know that an "accidental" pregnancy has a greater impact on a young girl than a young boy.

Either way, waiting is the wise choice... "anyone" can be sexually active, it takes someone special to remain pure until they marry their one and only. And what an incredible gift to be able to give.

Answer 5

Object of its Ire said it well.

I'm so glad that my own father was more evolved. He was an equal opportunity critic when it came to the love interests of myself and my bother. He never told me to "wait" in fact he never told me what to do with my sexuality, just that he waited for a woman he loved and he was glad.

I was college age when I lost my virginity, so apparently his liberal attitude toward sex didn't turn me into a raving sex maniac.

Edit: "Sons are not given that protection because they have nothing to lose. They don.t get pregnant either."

As the mother of a son, I beg to differ. Since I would not let my son walk away from his responsibility toward any offspring he created, he would have quite a bit to lose.

Answer 6

The old double-standard at work - AGAIN...
It's an example of males treating females as a piece of property. The father 'gives' the bride away...what DOESN'T that tell you?

They don't want anybody messing with their PROPERTY in case it gets DAMAGED and in so doing, becomes WORTHLESS.

Daddy subconsciously fears that if the property becomes damaged he won't be able to UNLOAD it onto anybody else. Then, he's stuck with it - for life.
This is what a DOWRY is for - paying someone to take the (invariably female) merchandise OFF your hands.

I submit there may be an evolutionary basis for this: after all, if the merchandise is fresh and unblemished then any children the girl/woman bears are more likely to be the genetic product of the 'appointed' husband/mate. That's why I suggested the behavior may be unconsciously motivated.

But then, what the hell do I know...

EDIT:
If you do some research you will find manifestations of this behavior (dowry, honor killings, etc) are primarily found in Agrarian societies. Agrarian societies are ancient, and large societies. They are pre-industrial. Women have the lowest status in agrarian societies. The most egalitarian societies are/were gatherer/hunter societies. Our own society here in USA/Canada, etc. originated as agrarian societies - became industrial societies - and now are 'post-industrial'. Our roots are staunchly agrarian.

The above definitions are used by sociologists (who study contemporary societies) and anthropologists (who study extinct societies).

Answer 7

Well, the girls are the ones that can end up pregnant. The sons aren't about to suddenly wind up forgoing college to raise a child alone. Of course, any sensible parent would want to prevent his son from ruining some girl's life as well, and I've never understood the casual attitude fathers take on that. If he ends up having a child with some girl he really doesn't love, that has a way of ruining his life as well, not to mention his income.

Answer 8

Your choice of words is rather surprising; I prefer the term virginity...cherry sounds like fruit and is, IMO, vulgar when used in the context you refer to.
There has always existed a double standard between the genders; boys are encouraged to go out and carouse, sow wild oats, etc while girls are protected and kept under wraps as long as possible. When a man takes charge and orders people around he is seen as a great leader; when a woman does the same thing she is viewed as a b***h. Go figure.

Answer 9

The sons are expected to be very experienced when they get married while the daughters are supposed to be virgins. The problem I see with that is the sons will judge their brides against their previous sexual experiences and probably not favorably since she is inexperienced. How sad it would be for him to be stuck with someone who likely will be frigid, hates sex, and is not the least bit interested in pleasing him. That's the risk for marrying a virgin. You don't know what you're getting.

Answer 10

cause a father is very protective of his little gurl and has every right to be.he is a man and he knows exactly what every guy is thinking....wow a cherry...please i wish my father was around to protect me but wasn't and a boy can take care of himself. he can stop but sometimes not at all the times women and gurls are put into positions where the guy won't listen when they stop. maybe this is what all fathers are thinking of....i really don't know but thats what i think.