What do you do when your husband's best friend is always at our house? I work during the day and he works at night, so we hardly see each other during the week. The only time we have for each other is the weekends, and he's always here. I guess he thinks of our house as his second home. To make matters worse we are newly weds and we fight over him all the time. I really don't want this to ruin our marriage, but it's seriously stressing me out. I am so sick of fighting bout it. What should I do?
2007-10-24 12:34:40 · 20 answers · asked by K-La 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OK, I am assuming here that your husband is part of the problem because if you guys are newlyweds, he should be a little more interested in your company than that of a friend. I don't know what your ages are, but I am betting early 20's. This is typical of guys that age group to have their priorities in the wrong place. I really don't know for sure that persistence on your part will get you any help from your hubby. To talk to his friend directly might do the trick unless your hubby takes offense to that - so that could backfire. I would do everything possible to keep the guy from coming over (just dropping by) by saying to him, to call before he comes over to make sure that you don't have plans before he just barges in - that is not asking too much when it is your place. From that he may get the message, but I doubt it (sometimes the only cure is a 2x4 between the eyes). You might try planning something that you husband would like to do for a few evenings in a row like going out to eat before he goes to work or something like that. "Friends" that don't go home when they should plague everyone from time to time, so I wish you good luck in finding a way to oust the bloke from your abode.
2007-10-24 12:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Doug R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi ,, that is so hard because i had the same problem,,, like they don't have a life ,,, it will not make a difference if you fight about IT or not ,,, you need to let your husband once and for all how you feel about the situation and that is it,,, don't fight about it or talk about it any more,,,,,, you keep your word and you will see that things will start to get better ,,, it will take a little time but everything will fall into place,,, i hope that everything work's out well for you,,,
Good Luck
Leena
2007-10-24 20:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by leena 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You really need to confront your husband about this because, this could seriously ruin your marriage. It is not good that a best friend is coming between your husband, I have been there and now, we are not together. That is just one of the marital problems we had. If your hubby really loves you, he will understand completely.
2007-10-24 21:43:52 · answer #3 · answered by geonet777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your hubby that saturdays or what ever day are for you and him only. His friend can come any other time. You don't want to make him feel as if you are controlling, and this friend clearly feel s comfy at ur home. If it were me, I'd pull the friend aside and nicly say, hey, can you give us Sundays or what ever day, I don't mind you being here, but one day a weekedn, we are newly weds, catch my drift" he should get it. You hubby is probubly just trying to wear the pants in the family and is looking at it as control, and also he loves his friends company, guys don't think like women and he isn't getting that you want just him .
2007-10-24 19:57:37 · answer #4 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, I believe once you have consulted with your husband your concerns .... it is the husbands place to set the stage in order. Your husbands best friend is only doing what HE BELIEVES is acceptable from your husbands standpoint. Perhaps you should express your concerns again , then politely ask your husband if he would like for you to talk to him. Sometimes if you have a private conversation with the best friend and explain the circumstances he will take it upon himself to limit his stay at your house.
2007-10-24 19:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by lawsy40 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start inviting your friend's and family member's over , my 1st husband had his mate's at our house all the time they hung out in the garage , I called it the men's room because the only time a woman was allowed in there was if she had food , coffee or cigarettes.
So I started inviting the mate's wive's over and my family and planned BBQ's least it gave me something to do.
2007-10-24 20:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your husband to comprimise and only see his friend every other weekend. You can explain to the friend that you are newlyweds and want to have some time alone but want to see him also. Every other weekend is a fair trade if your husband does not want to lose the friend.
Good Luck
2007-10-24 20:03:15 · answer #7 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Pretend you are sick with something contagious,invite your friend over so they can keep each other company,lock your doors and keep your husband in your bedroom.Get all sexy with hubby,call him into the kitchen and get him all excited,he will tell his friend to go home.Hang all over your husband and make this guy uncomfortable.Good luck
2007-10-24 19:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
mmm...wonder why your husband isn't handling it? Do you think they're gay?
If it was me, I'd go get my nails done or my hair. I wouldn't bother fighting about it. If you take the pressure off, maybe they'll get bored with each other.
Seriously, maybe you could introduce him to some other friends.
2007-10-24 19:44:10 · answer #9 · answered by frillyfroofroo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that you've been having hot dreams about his friend. Then be extra nice to the friend when he comes over.
2007-10-24 19:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋