Is he falling out of love with me?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. We're both 20 years old. Last year we spent every moment together, and he'd always write me sweet letters, and I felt like he TRULY cared and loved me. It's different now. He's always busy to hang out. It's not like he's ditching me for friends, but he's busy with work and homework. I suggest we work on it together, but he doesn't want to. I used to feel that I was his #1 priority, and he says I still am, but it doesn't seem like it. When I compare how he was last year to this year it's different. He still calls me everyday and talks with me everyday. He doesn't want to break up at all. I sit around and wait for him to hang out with me, and he says he doesn't want that for me. He says he loves me, but he doesn't need to act desperate. I still do see him everyday. I guess he's just not as "head over heels" as he was. He says part of that is my fault because I get so moody and take him for granted. Is he falling out of love?

He seems different, he tells me that he doesn't think he is. We got in a fight and he has made remarks that he doesn't love me like he used to because it's hard to love someone who complains all the time. He says that I am too paranoid and worry too much, and because of that it's ruining us. He says that I just need to relax because he's not going anywhere. Suggestions?

Answer 1

well maybe he is being honest with you??? he probably isnt falling out of love with you, but maybe you are being too needy with him? just because he doesnt want to spend every single second of every day with you, doesnt mean he feels differently, but maybe its just wanting a little breathing air. in the begining everyone spends so much time with that special someone. eventually people become comfortable with each other to still be with each other but also have some of their own "MY" time. if you do see him everyday and you do talk to him on the phone everyday, then you guys are fine. if you went days without talking or seeing each other then i would think somehting is wrong. however you are getting to see and talk to him everyday and its not good enough to you. you want him to do more than just that. maybe you do need to relax and do some things on your own too. call up some friends and go out or something. dont sit and wait for him to call again or come back over. he oviously wants that "ME" time and he wants you to do the same. it doesnt mean he loves you any less, but you can't be attached to his hip 24/7. take his advice and chill. guys dont like a needy girl! that will cause you to lose him cuz he will finally get fed up and sick of you. just relax and try to make your relationship work! discover who you are and make deciscions and choices and do things without him just as he's doing to you! you'll be fine!!!

Answer 2

That's how my husband and I were. The thing is that you guys have been together for a while now so it's more comfortable. He doesn't need to be next to you 24 hours a day reminding you that he loves you dearly. My husband was getting upset with me about a year ago because of that. I was still in the 'snuggle me NOW' stage and he was in chill mode wanting to just hang out or go out somewhere. It happens, it's a good thing! Also, I think it's wrong from him to shoot you with an 'I don't love you like I used to' That's very hurtful and all that does it make you worry more. Have you tried to have a serious talk about your concerns. Don't be over dramatic. Just explain why you feel the way you do and ask him how it makes him feel when you act that way. You two can come up with a solution together and help eachother on the way. That's what a relationship is!

Answer 3

I've been in that place often--with every relationship. Sometimes it has come to mean that (as one respondent noted), he was indeed seeing someone else--and that "history" exacerbates the emotional turf of today--whereby I second guess myself, assess if it is my imagination or if my guy is actually sending me a message--am I dense, am I creating distrust, should I ask, ignore, run--and off I go in hyperwarp mode.

One thing you might consider, though, is that, now that your relationship is somewhat stablized, your guy is working on self improvement--which is great for you as a couple. Ask him what his plans are and how you fit in. Ask yourself how you might support the relationship--with your own plans for self improvement.

Ask him what is important, and compare that with your views.

I know I send/leave cards and notes, but haven't gotten any, so I've quit, and that just makes all that emtional stuff fester inside.


Breathe deeply, compose some questions/topics to discuss with our SO and try to be concrete--men want a fact or two, no more, and they tend not to be emotional (ain't it awful?).
Maybe ask for an arragement like one special dinner out together each month (if his homework and finances can accommodate this), where you can talk. That way you both have something to look forward to, and can frame your ideas/questions.

Answer 4

pretty much its like this

when a guy is trying to catch you he is going to drop anything and everything to accomplish the task

once convinced you and he are rather secure ... LIFE resumes

it does not mean he loves you any less

most times it means .... he realizes that in order to keep you and he from starving and freezing to death together... he better get back to the realities of life ....

money food and rent


when a guy cares for his girl .... it becomes more of a make sure she gets everything she wants

instead of the ... make sure you are there for her all the time kinda thing it used to be


and yes most guys understand that the girl would prefer we were there being all cozy and romantic as always ....but cozy and romantic gets set aside abit for the girl we really want to keep after about a year

life gets in the way

he starts thinking about getting her a nicer car a nicer house and a good vacation plan

love and romance are rarely the same thing

love is generally unspoken ... merely assumed

romance all to often used as a tool and but when used successfully .... not used again often enough

when a guy " falls out of love" you will find it very clear and not very much fun to be around

words are very few if any at that stage

so as long as the conversations still happen all be it short and not always as expected there is still a bit of the flame still burning

schooling ...homework ...a job ... and a girlfriend

never easy to keep any one of them balanced

AND he is right never sit around and wait for him to call

he understands you have a life to live as well

just be yourself as he does his schooling and be supportive without being clingy and you and he will survive the long haul just fine

Answer 5

Suggestions? Yes. Stop being so clingy, needy, desperate and demanding. Give him some space. He doesn't want to leave you and there's no reason to think he doesn't love you anymore. The thrill and intensity of relationships fades a bit over time. That's natural.

Stop 'waiting for him to hang out with you' and do things you like doing that don't involve him. Hang with friends. Enjoy some alone time. Your neediness is the thing that's going to drive him away if anything does. As 'DizzyUp..' said, 'Chill'.

Answer 6

no he s not falling out of love
just relax
the initial excitment has calmed down as you have gotten use to each other
dont let anxious feelings take you too far
life isnt one long exciting initial meeting
relax and enjoy him for who he is
and you can be youirself too
no more fronts
dont get crude
but relax
let your hair hang down
put your feet on the coffe table!
be your self
control your natural anxiety
its normal to have some anxiety
because you ancestors were nevous ppl who lived
ppl who were too relaxed got eaten by a lepeord
and didnt have children
you are a descendant of the nervous ppl who wernt eaten by the lepeord
thats why most of us will feel some un-necessary anxiety
but your upper brain is soo sophisticated that you can over ride your anxiety
try relaxation techniques

Answer 7

Sounds like your boyfried is comfortable with the relationship...relationships change from have to be together all the time to comfortable I know we will always be together. Stop nagging. Find something of your own to do...become your own person and you will find that he has more interest because you do not NEED him...you WANT him...it is a totally different ballgame after the honeymoon is over.

Answer 8

Every relationship reaches a comfort level or it ends first. Be happy he is still in Love and in a comfort level. You sound like you are imature and needy (no offense meant) Life isn't all remantic all the time and his world has to expand past you, He obviously is trying to accomplish something with his life, he is studying. Be encouraging not clingy and supportive not whiny. Be there for him by not always being there. He still loves you.

Answer 9

well being that you and your boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years ,always keep this in mind, the begining of a relationship is always the funnest part of it.That's when he can't wait to see you, you can't wait to see him.However,we have to realize that if there's one thing in life that's deffinate that is change,but that does not mean that the change is bad maybe it could be just a new level of the relationship.

Answer 10

i think of there's a component those that needs to be significant. this is why we see this area flooded with questions of "what's the which potential of existence?" this is why God is that this variety of debatable subject count, that is substantial to us, to comprehend that we recommend something. We seek for attractiveness and as quickly as we don't gain that we are able to experience extremely down. Love is something that conquers this and greater. We experience a feeling of connection, we experience substantial, significant. people commit their entire lives to attaining those varieties of thoughts. yet here it rather is, all in the only equipment. And coming right down to the fundamentals, all of us have sexual want, that's enriched as quickly as we do such act with somebody we like. definite there may be a painful area to it, yet from a philosophical stand factor, purely you are able to enable somebody to harm you via taking issues to coronary heart. can we % it? i don't think of so. yet can we % it? definite. Why does not you? The positives outweigh the negatives.