Do I have anger issues?

Question

My friends INSIST i do.
I mean first of all my dad says I do. I admit around him, I act like a stupid ignorant kid that doesn't respect her parents.
But around my friends, when they speak where i cant hear them i'll be "what?!" and they'll say something and i still can't hear them. Then their just like omg nevermind!!! I just say ok and walk away then they say i get mad easily?!
Hrmmm they also tell me in my face that i have anger issues and I think anyone who gets told they have some issue would get angry. When they say that and i dont talk to them cuz that hurts my feelings cuz i have to hear that at home all the time they think im easily mad AGAIN!

Its just not fair that i have 3 friends saying they hate me because im easily angered. Its really dumb. Should i droppem as a friend?

Answer 1

Look I'm going to be really straight with you here... Yes, it sounds like you have anger issues. In your own words, your friends and family all say you do.

If everyone around you thinks something about you, how can you make an argument that they are ALL somehow mistaken or have no observation or rationalization skills and that you soley are right??? That argument doesn't hold water.

Now, here is my advice. You can continue to be right that how you behave is acceptable and correct and then what is predicable is you'll be this way tomorrow, next week, next month, next year...etc..etc... and basically have a miserable life.

Your other alternative is figure out what's running the show that has you be that way. From what little you wrote I am going to take a guess to point you in the direction I see. You have control issues. You don't like being told what to do, and you like to have things go your way, and when you dont you get angry as a mechanism to regain or establish control OR to avoid being controlled by others.

So here is what you should see. The benefit of your behavior is that you get to establish some sense of control in certain situations. Now, what we don't usually see is the cost that we pay to get that benefit. You should take out a piece of paper and write down all the costs (to you and others) that are paid for you to get the benefit of controlling or avoiding being controlled.

Then here is the final question to ask yourself.... Is the price that you and others pay worth the benefit that you get? There is no right answer to this question. You just get to say whats more valuable to you the benefit or getting back the costs that you pay...

Hope this helps

Answer 2

I'm sorry, dear one, that you are being jerked around psychologically. I think you shouldn't take everybody serious on what they are saying. Most people say things when they are angry or frustrated. Apparently, your attitude has frustrated your parents and they feel you need to grow up and handle disappointment or rejection, etc.. Your friends are probably baseing their remarks again, more on 'attitude' than on anger problems. I expect that they know very little about anger or anger management. So I wouldn't dwell on their explanations too long either.
The ay I see it, you need to have an 'attitude adjustment'. Now stay with me for a minute, I'm not being mean. I take it that you are unhappy with your life right now, so what I'm saying is, 'If you keep doing what you're doing, then you're going to get what you've always got.' Do you understand? The only one that can make this better is you. I always say, 'Take charge of your circumstances, and stop letting your circumstances take charge of you."
If you say you acknowledge your 'stupid, ignorant, actions' around your parents - then I have to ask, 'Why would you even want to act like that or have someone 'see' you act like that (especially your parents) ? How's it working for you so far?
Don't you love them? If your answer is yes, then you need to know and understand, that respect goes along with love! Give it some thought. Don't be disrespectful to the ones who love you the most.
As far as your friends problem, don't change 'friends' just change your actions, Don't be yelling 'what' when you know you're out of earshot, and can't possibly hear what's being said. It's rude and it's aggraviating. The more your friends hear you yell 'what' ___ and the more they repeat themselves, the more the frustration. The more the frustration, the more the anger AT YOU!
So, dear one, tell everybody you are sorry and you're going to change a few techniques in your life. If they say, "Attitude", simply smile and say yes. Good luck.

Answer 3

The liver is the seat of anger, according to Ayurveda. If your liver is overburdened then it can make you very irritable. There are simple and easy methods of relieving the liver of toxins. Exercise relieves the liver because it gets all the lymph glands working, increases oxygen intake, and stimulates elimination. Drinking a cup of water, is, surprisingly cooling and cleansing to the liver. You can do this the instant you are angry. (My Gurudev has recommended this to some people) Heavy foods like red meat, cow, pig etc, burden the liver and the whole elimination system. Anything toxic or difficult to digest can burden the liver. Walking is extremely stress relieving and calming. It is a great exercise for the mind, and body. Martial arts is also helpful. Too much anger can make you sick. This is a very important question and an intelligent question! If we had less anger, we would have more peace!

Answer 4

Dear heart you are young and of course you have anger issues, you just have to learn to relax a bit more, also ask your dad about getting your ears checked as if you are not catching words it could be wax or something. Above all lovey, lighten up a bit and don't take life too seriously
love from
Dot.x.

Answer 5

It sounds as though you need to have your hearing checked. You did walk away mad from friends because you couldn't hear them...

Answer 6

I don't see much in your question that suggests anger issues, but surely friends are people who believe you, and believe in you?

Answer 7

Maybe you are too reactive, but you should also check your ears, maybe not hearing correctly makes you feel frustrated

Answer 8

I don't know about angry necessarily, but you sound very self absorbed to me.