i've spent my whole life trying to be a people pleaser (example: i find what makes a friend/family member happy, and i try to be that for them so that they are happy around me). i know i need to learn to make myself happy, i just feel so guilty being happy knowing that the people i love the most aren't happy (my whole family is going through a hard time right now, and there is nothing i can do. i live on the other end of the country). i know in this situation, i am helpless to make them happy. thus, i have been forced to face my codependency issues. it is making me miserable that i can't cheer them up and have a happy conversation with them, and it is affecting my emotional stability. i'm sure my family blows off my problems (i have a lot of financial problems being an out of state student) like they are nothing compared to thier problems, but now i am left with nobody to talk to and help me sort through my problems.
and advice is greatly appreciated :o)
2007-10-24 10:29:41 · 3 answers · asked by User Name 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
oops... i meant ot put "codependant lifestyle" in the question. sorry for the typo everybody :o)
2007-10-24 10:35:01 · update #1
LOL, thanks for pointing out the irony Doc! you got a laugh out of me :o)
2007-10-24 10:41:21 · update #2
I think I've seen you post something about you feeling codependent. Well I looked it up some and found this site. I read some of it and I think you should read it. I think it might help with your Codependent Lifestyle. :o)
http://www.drirene.com/coinfor.htm
PS, You can't make everyone happy. It's just not possible. People have problems and go through things as you are. Alot of people might not ask you about your problems just because they don't want more stress to deal with. I don't tell anyone my problems and I don't ask about anyones problems because I know they have things to deal with and so do I. Whats talking about it gonna get you?! Besides more upset and more depressed! Thats what I've come to realize. Hope the site helps. Take care :o)
2007-10-24 15:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take the super woman cape off!! I understand completely. I have fought with these same issues for years. Now I take it one day at a time. If I need to say no I will and understand it is not the end of the world if they get upset. I understand that I can not possibly please everyone all the time. I do continue to be caring but I make sure I am doing it in love not cause I am afraid that they will be mad. I pray for my family and understand that I do not have all the answers and they will be okay if I dont rescue everyone. Lastly, I realize that if I am so stress I then cant help anyone so I do what I can ,when i can and understand when i cant.
2007-10-24 17:40:14 · answer #2 · answered by LADYPRINCEZZ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry... you sound serious, and yet "Please help me break my codependency lifestyle" is so deliciously ironic.
2007-10-24 17:37:43 · answer #3 · answered by Doc Occam 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋